I am 20 years in - and the man - and we are happily married and still have a great physical relationship.
BECAUSE she has always been painfully straight with me.
So if I do anything that is a turn off she says in a nice way "baby I know your goal is to get me in the mood - let me tell you what gets you in the mood and then she mentions things that do (this is the sugar coating part) and then she says - "I know you are doing XXX with the best intentions - but don't - it is not a turn on it just isn't. In fact the opposite ok"
And so over the years she has done a super job of teaching me.
So our 3 keys to success are:
- Totally honest communication about turn ons/turn offs
- How to get her in the mood when she is not in the mood. So she will let me do a nice slow full body massage - after 20-30 minutes she is at least relaxed and usually at least a bit turned on. The butt/inner thigh massage is kind of sensuous and helps...
- She never said "NO" - she did sometimes say "I will rock your world tomorrow" - this is a delay not a rejection. And when she said that I would be totally cool about it.
But there were times when she was disorganized and put lots of stuff off until night time and then would come to bed late and tired and THAT made me angry.
I feel like I'm in such a delimma. I love my husband very much. We've been married 5 years now. I really enjoy having sex with him most of the time.
There are times, though, when I just don't feel like it. He always takes it personally. I don't know if it's a hormonal problem, or a result of me being tired, or what, but it definitely has nothing to do with him. I've told him this so many times, but he still gets offended.
Anyway....There are some times when sex really feels like a chore....something else I have to do before I can go to sleep at night.
the times that it's particularly bothersome is when he starts talking to me (usually by sending texts) about what he wants to do in the bedroom at night when we get home. He texts over and over until it just drives me insane. Then I spend the rest of the day dreading the night. Sometimes I try to keep the kids awake so that I'll have an excuse. I don't know why it annoys me so for him to do this, but when he does, it makes me not want to even talk to him at all.
He texted me earlier saying that every time he started flirting with me, I would quit talking back. I have no idea why he thinks this is flirting. It actualy borders on objectification. I don't mind dirty talk, but when it's all day long and the only thing he says to me.....
it just gets OLD
I don't know how to handle this. He's SUPER sensitive and I really don't want to talk to him about it, but I just don't know what to do...
Why do I feel this way? How can I make it better?
Please please help.....