Re: Is lack of sex a good enough reason to leave?????? And how do I do it????
I can understand your frustration. Unless I missed your answer somewhere, I haven't seen a reply to the post regarding why you think he is avoiding sex with you? Do you have any thoughts on this since you are probably the best one to answer this? Are you physically as attractive as when you met, for me, speaking from mans perspective, if my wife was to put on considerable weight for example, I know it would impact my sex drive for her, I get horny if I just look at her when she wearing something nice/tight, and I don't mean if she put on 10 lbs or something as we age, but if she gained, like 50 lbs or more and didn't have the curves that she had, right or wrong, I am very visual, I know it would impact my sex drive, would still love her, but sex would suffer. I don't mean to pry, your post indicates that you are not the skinniest ,skinny or not, have you changed significantly physically since you met I think is probably the question I should ask. If not, then I suspect this is not an issue.
That aside, for me, lack of sex was an issue and I let my wife dictate this too long and hold back sex too long before I took back the reins on this and I laid in on the line, in that the once a week if lucky and only when she really is up to it, and oral sex was like pulling teeth compared to the past and it was not going to fly any more, and that I have always wanted more sex in our marriage with her(at least past 5 years since the kids it really dropped off), but had been satisfying myself to compensate and said if it was her plan to keep this the way they were, I was cashing out, period. This may work with some and not others, my wife knows I am not a bluffer when I a serious,so if I am doing something, I will do it, other wise is it an empty threat. I has improved to at least 3- 4 times a week now for the past few months and when she tried to play it down a few times, I called her on it. I just got to the point where I did not want spend the rest of my life with someone who was not willing to have sex with me or thought it was ok to deprive me of it. That was one area where she has improved greatly now, and with the advise that I sought few months ago on this forum, I also took actions to help built our romance up again and now make it a bi weekly commitment to arrange baby sitting and make reservations to a nice restuarant, particularly one that we like that has live bands with dancing for grown ups (were in our 40's) and have seen this area of our romance improve as well, I must admit, I was not spending the quality time I should have been with her and changed that too and this has made the sex better as well.
Hope you are able to find a way to make it better.