Using toys? Is my wife telling me something?
My wife and I have a great marriage and a healthy sex life. I am blessed. She is highly orgasmic and can climax both orally and from penetration although she is never satisfied fully orally and needs penetration to get the job done fully (according to her). About a year ago we were visiting my wife’s college roommate (I’ll call her Suzie). They have been very close over the years and know they share thoughts on a variety of different topics. Suzie is pretty sexual in nature so I am sure they have spoken at length about sexual topics. One night we were out parting with Suzie and she suggested that we go into a sex shop. My wife is not a prude by any stretch but, gets embarrassed in some situations and this was one of them. Plus she was sober as she was pregnant so she did not have the benefit of losing her inhibitions via booze like we had. She did encourage or discourage us from going inside but, did not come in with us.
Anyway once inside, Suzie said we should get a toy and asked me what I should get. Clearly, I thought she would know better than me so I let her lead the way. She picked out a devise shape like a Di#$ with a little rounded piece that would stimulate the clit. It is/was battery powered. It was a little intimidating as it was a little bigger and wider than I am but, not by much and I don't believe I ever commented on its size. We took it home and it stayed in the sealed plastic container that it came in for some time. I asked on more than one occasion if she wanted to use it and she declined although I never pushed it. I mentioned we should chuck it (or hide it better as we have kids) I recently found it was not in the spot it had been. When I asked her about it she did not give me a straight answer. On one hand I want to respect her privacy. I enjoy “taking matters into my own hand” in private. She knows about it and doesn’t have a problem with it. I think it is ok for couples to have “quality alone time” for their own pleasure without distraction but, also see the benefit of “sharing” some of these experiences.
I have read where introducing toys into a relationship can take intimacy to a new level. I would very much like to take my wife to new levels of pleasure if toys can offer that to her. I only want to do this if SHE wants to and is comfortable.
My questions are :
1) Was my wife/wife’s girlfriend trying to tell me something despite my wife’s shyness. Perhaps this is obvious.
2) If you have had experience with this is there a downside to the use of toys what is the upside.
3) I have read awesome feedback on some of the powerful plug in devises-are these better.
Your feedback would be appreciated.