Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
I really enjoy sex with my husband, but it often takes me a very long time reaching orgasm-- even with a lot of foreplay. Is this normal? It can take up to 45 minutes or even more sometimes! I usually feel so guilty about it that I just let him go ahead and finish. I certainly wouldn't want him to feel like I don't enjoy being with him because that's not the case. Sometimes I find myself in high anxiety before sex because of this. I just want to be able to relax and not worry about my performance. This isn't a new issuefor me, but after talking with some of my girlfriends, I seem to be the only woman who has this problem. I've talked with my OB-Gyn and she says my hormone levels are fine and everything is fine physically. I'm scared to try prescription stuff to raise libido. I'm afraid the higher levels of testosterone in that stuff will cause me to grow hair in unwanted places!! That certainly wouldn't benefit my sex life! Any other women out there have this problem??
Re: Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
Yes it can be normal but there are many things that can help it along. Since women have two types of orgasm and can come in three different ways there are differences that can be explored. There are things the two of you can work on to help. This site isn't the place for details as such but I can pm you more if you are interested.
Re: Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
Well, it all depends on the women and the moment. One of m y friends, for example, she reaches orgasm within a couple of minutes if she masturbates, but while having sex, it takes her more or less the same time as you, jst because she relaxes and enjoys the moment. I guess it is normal, but if you feel that you could "do more" then you might help your partner while trying to reach orgasm.
Re: Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
Yes, I had an ex-wife that would almost never reach it without some oral copulation, for a very long time, first.
Then again what is a long time? My ex, at least 20 minutes or more. I had to learn to be patient & learn other ways to make sure she was happy first because as a guy, we can be done at any minute.
Re: Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy22
I really enjoy sex with my husband, but it often takes me a very long time reaching orgasm-- even with a lot of foreplay. Is this normal? It can take up to 45 minutes or even more sometimes! I usually feel so guilty about it that I just let him go ahead and finish. I certainly wouldn't want him to feel like I don't enjoy being with him because that's not the case. Sometimes I find myself in high anxiety before sex because of this. I just want to be able to relax and not worry about my performance. This isn't a new issuefor me, but after talking with some of my girlfriends, I seem to be the only woman who has this problem. I've talked with my OB-Gyn and she says my hormone levels are fine and everything is fine physically. I'm scared to try prescription stuff to raise libido. I'm afraid the higher levels of testosterone in that stuff will cause me to grow hair in unwanted places!! That certainly wouldn't benefit my sex life! Any other women out there have this problem??
I going to assume this question was meant for other women, and will disregard responses from the guys.
Think about the atmosphere you are in when having sex.
I know that if the lights are on, some women cannot reach orgasm. If the partner changes positions, some women cannot reach orgasm. Trying to reach orgasm at the same time as the partner can inhibit orgasm in many women. I find all of these things distracting so it is lights off, no roaming from one position to another, and orgasm happens when I am ready, regardless of his being ready.
In other words, there are things that men prefer that can work against a woman reaching orgasm. Forget the "two types of orgasm", and have the orgasm that you recognize by taking time to discover what your partner can do to help you reach it.
This means you will have to train him, but that is what most satisfied women do with partners. Throw out everything you have heard about how sex should be, and start getting what you desire. Telling your partner what to do and how can go a long way towards your achieving great sex.
Talk to other women, we are working with the same anatomy.
Re: Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SageMother
I going to assume this question was meant for other women, and will disregard responses from the guys.
Think about the atmosphere you are in when having sex.
I know that if the lights are on, some women cannot reach orgasm. If the partner changes positions, some women cannot reach orgasm. Trying to reach orgasm at the same time as the partner can inhibit orgasm in many women. I find all of these things distracting so it is lights off, no roaming from one position to another, and orgasm happens when I am ready, regardless of his being ready.
In other words, there are things that men prefer that can work against a woman reaching orgasm. Forget the "two types of orgasm", and have the orgasm that you recognize by taking time to discover what your partner can do to help you reach it.
This means you will have to train him, but that is what most satisfied women do with partners. Throw out everything you have heard about how sex should be, and start getting what you desire. Telling your partner what to do and how can go a long way towards your achieving great sex.
Talk to other women, we are working with the same anatomy.
Here, Here!!!!
Although the lights don't bother me, but I changed to a blue or red light to make it not so bright in the room lol
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Re: Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
Quote:
Originally Posted by berlinlife06
LOL! Just make sure the "different" light doesn't come from the TV. Otherwise you most likely risk loosing your partner, specially if it is a guy!
HeHe I don't seem to have to worry about that one! My husband's drive is unbelievable! It wouldn't matter if porn was on TV (he doesn't watch it anyway), he wouldn't be distracted from sex! I used to have to strip in front of the TV to try to get his attention and it still didn't work. Now he can't seem to get enough. He wears me out! Speaking of which, he has a lot of candles lit. I'll follow some of your advice and see what happens.....
Re: Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
In response to the original question and thread title... YES it must be normal for some to take a long time. Ahem... the one orgasm that I prefer can take me up to 20 minutes as a general rule. He can not give me orgasm via oral... PERIOD. That's something I have to do myself and then he gets bored and loses interest. I try to not involve him in this type, but sometimes I do want it and he just has to wait it out. Good luck. Maybe we're missing nerve endings or something...?? lol
Re: Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
Let me add my voice to the rest of the ladies; yes, it can take a long time for a woman to reach orgasm. This gives you and your partner, though, the opportunity to discuss the situation and experiment with different thingies that can heighten both of your pleasure.
Re: Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
Yes, it can take a long time. And no, there's nothing unusual about it.
Orgasm is an individual thing and what works for one woman may well not work for you. I think being relaxed about it is at the heart of it though, and being able to tell your partner what it is that you feel would work for you.
Re: Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
i love the title of the thread:
Re: Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
yes, some women it takes years! guys, be honest. it's worth the work. ladies, once your dude realizes that, you'll have several, as many as you want, orgasms.
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separated, honoring wife daily with AA, counseling, she deserves the best me i can give her.
Re: Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
One thing you can try is once a week or once a month have a night that's just for him (time of the month is a good time for this) and another that is just for you...on your night he knows ahead of time it's all about you and you knowing he just wants to please you can take the pressure off of how long it takes you. We do this and I can tell you on my nights I have had some mind-blowing times It gets even better because it puts him in the frame of mind that he's awesome at what he does (he really is) and I no longer feel there is any rush...we both benefit & get something good out of it.
Is it normal for it to take some women a really long time to reach orgasm?
It gets even better because it puts him in the frame of mind that he's awesome at what he does (he really is) and I no longer feel there is any rush...we both benefit & get something good out of it.
