Most of you know my story. 14 yrs married, completely sexless for 6, back to having sex again for almost a month. Baby steps toward recovering our relationship. I know he's not going to just start loving me again overnight.
I know internet porn pretty much was his mistress during those 6 yrs (and even before that). He got pretty good at erasing evidence once he knew I knew. I figure he was watching at least 2-3 times per week based on how often he was clearing his history and internet files/cookies.
Last night I decided to snoop on his computer to see if he had been watching porn since we have been having sex again. He has - about once a week. One time I was out of town - fair enough.
This last time though, he forgot to clear his history and I got a look at what he's actually looking at. Live sex cams where a woman does stuff online and men chat with her (I have no idea if he was doing any chatting). I had come to grips with the fact that men look at porn and it's just images - but this live thing really hurts me. Especially since he rejected me for sex that evening - although we had sex the following morning. Now I know why.
Should I just let it go and be happy that he's having sex with me and slowly building intimacy again. I want to set some sort of boundaries with the porn - like no live porn/chat but I feel like I should let it go since we are on such thin ice as it is and he would know I was snooping if I brought up the live porn topic.
In addition to the live porn thing (is that common?) how often do men look at porn while in a healthy frequent sex relationship? We have sex about 3-4 times a week - I would prefer daily but I don't want to push him and every other day seems good for him. I am the agressor 80% of the time.
Just trying to determine if I should feel threatened by all this. Reassurances by those of you of the opposite sex that this is normal behavior would go a long way toward easing my mind.
I know internet porn pretty much was his mistress during those 6 yrs (and even before that). He got pretty good at erasing evidence once he knew I knew. I figure he was watching at least 2-3 times per week based on how often he was clearing his history and internet files/cookies.
Last night I decided to snoop on his computer to see if he had been watching porn since we have been having sex again. He has - about once a week. One time I was out of town - fair enough.
This last time though, he forgot to clear his history and I got a look at what he's actually looking at. Live sex cams where a woman does stuff online and men chat with her (I have no idea if he was doing any chatting). I had come to grips with the fact that men look at porn and it's just images - but this live thing really hurts me. Especially since he rejected me for sex that evening - although we had sex the following morning. Now I know why.
Should I just let it go and be happy that he's having sex with me and slowly building intimacy again. I want to set some sort of boundaries with the porn - like no live porn/chat but I feel like I should let it go since we are on such thin ice as it is and he would know I was snooping if I brought up the live porn topic.
In addition to the live porn thing (is that common?) how often do men look at porn while in a healthy frequent sex relationship? We have sex about 3-4 times a week - I would prefer daily but I don't want to push him and every other day seems good for him. I am the agressor 80% of the time.
Just trying to determine if I should feel threatened by all this. Reassurances by those of you of the opposite sex that this is normal behavior would go a long way toward easing my mind.