Wife is too exposed during massage
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 04-03-2010, 11:31 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Wife is too exposed during massage

My wife recently started getting regular massage at a local studio from a male therapist. After some prodding, my wife described me the massage. She starts off nude under a towel on her stomach. When he massages her lower back the towel is then partially and then completely removed. When she is on her back, her breasts are exposed and the towel is always covering her genitals.

This has happed the last couple of sessions. He asked her permission and she agreed. My wife is 37 and looks pretty good. The masseur is much younger. I've met him a couple of times and I don't really feel comfortable with this guy spending so much time with my wife nude.

She says it doesn't bother her and makes it easier for him. She's accusing me of being controlling. I know nothing is happening but still...
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Old 04-03-2010, 11:37 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

No way would I be ok with that...that's too much exposure, maybe that's because I'm an ass man...there's no reason she cant keep her panties on...and if he's massaging her boobs then I think it's sexual..even if he's a "professional" he's still a guy.
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Old 04-03-2010, 11:54 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

I have many, many massages from therapists of both sexes and NEVER had my naked butt or breasts exposed. Professional therapists would, IMO, never even ask. I tend to lie nude under the sheets, but panties and/or bras are normal for many women even with a female therapist. Professionals are trained to work around this type of clothing.

Your wife is pretty much a massage novice if she thinks this is a normal masseuse request, and the dude is taking advantage of her. Or she knows darn well that this is not typical and she's complicit in the indiscretion.

I live in the US and have no idea about standards elsewhere, btw.
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Old 04-03-2010, 11:58 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

Things are a little different en Europe I hear..hahaha
Talk to the dude, tell him to never massage your wife without her panties...that's what I would do..in fact I dont think I'd let her go to that therapist anymore..even if she gets mad...but that's just me...
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Old 04-03-2010, 12:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

This is why I prefer to have a female masseuse LOL.
But seriously tho', usually bra off is fine but never heard of the total naked thing. I agree with Sister, she might thinks it's normal but believe me it doesn't sounds like a 'regular' massage.

I'm in Asia, and no we don't strip butt naked
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Old 04-03-2010, 01:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

I see a female massage therapist weekly and am completely naked under the covers. She always has either a towel or covers over my breasts, netherregions and butt. She does, however, uncover one butt cheek at a time to really massage my glutes (a problem area for me during hard marathon training). She always gives you the option to keep as much clothing on as you feel comfortable with.

There's really no reason to have breasts, genitals or the entire butt exposed even without undergarments on. The MT should be skilled at placing and tucking the covers/towel to prevent overexposure during the massage.

I would be worried - this doesn't sound like professional behavior to me especially with an opposite sex MT.
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Old 04-03-2010, 01:58 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

No way would I do that with a male masseuse and I wouldn't put up with my husband having it done with a female. NO FREAKIN' WAY!!

Tell her to find another masseuse, a female or none at all. It's your right. If she resists then you go in there and stand there and watch. See how long that lasts.

The things people put up with..*shakes head*
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Old 04-04-2010, 09:50 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

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Originally Posted by Freak On a Leash View Post
I wouldn't put up with my husband having it done with a female. NO FREAKIN' WAY!!
I have been visiting a female professional masseuse in a spa for a few years. I am always naked under a sheet (but had the option to leave on as much as I wanted), but covered so that only the part of the body being massaged is exposed. When she massages the my glutes, only one side is is exposed at a time. The sheet is very carefully placed so I am covered on the other side. When I'm on my back and she's doing my legs, the sheet is arranged so I am completely covered in the genitals at all times. She is very careful to make me feel comfortable while preserving my modesty, but at the same time allowing her to give me a great massage. I've described the entire process to my wife and she's fine with this.

Now, if my wife were being massaged by a male and he wanted to expose her in the way described in the original post, there's no way I'd allow that. I'd have her stop seeing the guy. This is not the norm in my experience.
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Old 04-04-2010, 07:38 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

I'm wondering if there was something going on whether she would have still told you. Maybe she could agree on another massage therapist. If she really cares about you, one wouldn't think that should be a problem.
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Old 04-05-2010, 04:31 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

I agree with you, I would not be comfortable with my wife being naked and getting rubbed down my a young male masseuse. Suggest she seek a different place out and even try a female. Talk to her and like the other poster said, if she loves and cares about you it shouldn't be a problem.
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Old 04-05-2010, 05:03 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

I'd clarify the procedure with your wife, and just make sure you are on the same page in terms of what exactly is happening.

Naked isn't a big deal to some, to others it is. A professional masseuse is about making you feel relaxed and comfortable. If your wife is obviously uncomfortable with what he is doing, then his behavior borders on predatory.
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Old 04-06-2010, 06:43 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

go to a session with her... i mean if he is professional and it is all level then he would be ok giving her the normal routine with you in the room...

O HELL no..!!!
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Old 04-06-2010, 03:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

OK.. well this is one of those tough situations. She obviously has no problems with it. You do.

So...is her no problem because she gets a sexual excitement from it? Most likely (she probably at least likes the attention and has a bit of fantasy that she is turning him on). Would she admit that to you if she wishes to continue. Most likely not. Will they ever go further? ... don't know.

You have already expressed your discomfort, she has already let you know that she has no intention of things changing.

So how bad does it bug you. Because whether there is more than just a little flirt going on or not - you are most likely going to get the " you are over jealous, controlling and don't trust me" line.
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Old 04-07-2010, 10:16 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

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Originally Posted by marriedguy View Post
No way would I be ok with that...that's too much exposure, maybe that's because I'm an ass man...there's no reason she cant keep her panties on...and if he's massaging her boobs then I think it's sexual..even if he's a "professional" he's still a guy.
yeah baby, im an ass man too and if you start touching my wifes ass, we got problems...now i understand that massages are like that...butt, that doesnt mean i agree with getting an ass massage....her ass massage comes from me and no one else unless we are swinging.....and we have never done that yet. cause if i got a massage from some hot asian chick, my wife would not be happy about it either...especially if it was a prostate massage
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Old 04-13-2010, 11:09 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife is too exposed during massage

I definitely know how you feel. About a year ago, my wife started going to get a monthly massage. She wanted a guy because she said that their hands were much stronger. I never knew to what degree she got undressed (I guess I never really thought about it) Then one day I went with her (we had to go to a friends home afterwards for dinner). I was shocked when she got undressed down to her bra and panties. When he walked in she layed down and when she laid on her stomach, he undid her bra to massage her back. She was laying there almost completely naked making small talk with him. Afterwards I told her how suprised I was that she got that undressed. She said Its all professional as you can see. I get undressed for my doctor and you don't have a problem with that do you? I guess after that I had no real problem with it (even though he was a younger good looking male). I will say though she only had her bra undone while she was laying on her stomach. As soon as he wanted her to roll over, he hooked her bra back up. She never was laying on her back topless. I would be suspicious of someone that required her to do this. It doesn't seem to be professional. Ask her why she lays on her back topless. Most therapists will let you undress down to what you feel comfortable with. They won't require you to be naked.
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