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Wife is too exposed during massage

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massage wife
365K views 55 replies 41 participants last post by  Deejo 
#1 ·
My wife recently started getting regular massage at a local studio from a male therapist. After some prodding, my wife described me the massage. She starts off nude under a towel on her stomach. When he massages her lower back the towel is then partially and then completely removed. When she is on her back, her breasts are exposed and the towel is always covering her genitals.

This has happed the last couple of sessions. He asked her permission and she agreed. My wife is 37 and looks pretty good. The masseur is much younger. I've met him a couple of times and I don't really feel comfortable with this guy spending so much time with my wife nude.

She says it doesn't bother her and makes it easier for him. She's accusing me of being controlling. I know nothing is happening but still...
 
#14 ·
:iagree: yeah baby, im an ass man too and if you start touching my wifes ass, we got problems...now i understand that massages are like that...butt, that doesnt mean i agree with getting an ass massage....her ass massage comes from me and no one else unless we are swinging.....and we have never done that yet. cause if i got a massage from some hot asian chick, my wife would not be happy about it either...especially if it was a prostate massage :iagree:
 
#3 ·
I have many, many massages from therapists of both sexes and NEVER had my naked butt or breasts exposed. Professional therapists would, IMO, never even ask. I tend to lie nude under the sheets, but panties and/or bras are normal for many women even with a female therapist. Professionals are trained to work around this type of clothing.

Your wife is pretty much a massage novice if she thinks this is a normal masseuse request, and the dude is taking advantage of her. Or she knows darn well that this is not typical and she's complicit in the indiscretion.

I live in the US and have no idea about standards elsewhere, btw.
 
#4 ·
Things are a little different en Europe I hear..hahaha
Talk to the dude, tell him to never massage your wife without her panties...that's what I would do..in fact I dont think I'd let her go to that therapist anymore..even if she gets mad...but that's just me...
 
#5 ·
This is why I prefer to have a female masseuse LOL.
But seriously tho', usually bra off is fine but never heard of the total naked thing. I agree with Sister, she might thinks it's normal but believe me it doesn't sounds like a 'regular' massage.

I'm in Asia, and no we don't strip butt naked :)
 
#54 ·
This is why I prefer to have a female masseuse LOL.
But seriously tho', usually bra off is fine but never heard of the total naked thing. I agree with Sister, she might thinks it's normal but believe me it doesn't sounds like a 'regular' massage.

I'm in Asia, and no we don't strip butt naked <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Smile" >:)</a>
This

If the massage is truly therapeutic there is no reason your wife can't have a female masseuse
 
#6 ·
I see a female massage therapist weekly and am completely naked under the covers. She always has either a towel or covers over my breasts, netherregions and butt. She does, however, uncover one butt cheek at a time to really massage my glutes (a problem area for me during hard marathon training). She always gives you the option to keep as much clothing on as you feel comfortable with.

There's really no reason to have breasts, genitals or the entire butt exposed even without undergarments on. The MT should be skilled at placing and tucking the covers/towel to prevent overexposure during the massage.

I would be worried - this doesn't sound like professional behavior to me especially with an opposite sex MT.
 
#7 ·
No way would I do that with a male masseuse and I wouldn't put up with my husband having it done with a female. NO FREAKIN' WAY!!

Tell her to find another masseuse, a female or none at all. It's your right. If she resists then you go in there and stand there and watch. See how long that lasts. ;)

The things people put up with..*shakes head* :rolleyes:
 
#8 ·
I wouldn't put up with my husband having it done with a female. NO FREAKIN' WAY!!
I have been visiting a female professional masseuse in a spa for a few years. I am always naked under a sheet (but had the option to leave on as much as I wanted), but covered so that only the part of the body being massaged is exposed. When she massages the my glutes, only one side is is exposed at a time. The sheet is very carefully placed so I am covered on the other side. When I'm on my back and she's doing my legs, the sheet is arranged so I am completely covered in the genitals at all times. She is very careful to make me feel comfortable while preserving my modesty, but at the same time allowing her to give me a great massage. I've described the entire process to my wife and she's fine with this.

Now, if my wife were being massaged by a male and he wanted to expose her in the way described in the original post, there's no way I'd allow that. I'd have her stop seeing the guy. This is not the norm in my experience.
 
#10 ·
I agree with you, I would not be comfortable with my wife being naked and getting rubbed down my a young male masseuse. Suggest she seek a different place out and even try a female. Talk to her and like the other poster said, if she loves and cares about you it shouldn't be a problem.
 
#11 ·
I'd clarify the procedure with your wife, and just make sure you are on the same page in terms of what exactly is happening.

Naked isn't a big deal to some, to others it is. A professional masseuse is about making you feel relaxed and comfortable. If your wife is obviously uncomfortable with what he is doing, then his behavior borders on predatory.
 
#13 ·
OK.. well this is one of those tough situations. She obviously has no problems with it. You do.

So...is her no problem because she gets a sexual excitement from it? Most likely (she probably at least likes the attention and has a bit of fantasy that she is turning him on). Would she admit that to you if she wishes to continue. Most likely not. Will they ever go further? ... don't know.

You have already expressed your discomfort, she has already let you know that she has no intention of things changing.

So how bad does it bug you. Because whether there is more than just a little flirt going on or not - you are most likely going to get the " you are over jealous, controlling and don't trust me" line.
 
#15 ·
I definitely know how you feel. About a year ago, my wife started going to get a monthly massage. She wanted a guy because she said that their hands were much stronger. I never knew to what degree she got undressed (I guess I never really thought about it) Then one day I went with her (we had to go to a friends home afterwards for dinner). I was shocked when she got undressed down to her bra and panties. When he walked in she layed down and when she laid on her stomach, he undid her bra to massage her back. She was laying there almost completely naked making small talk with him. Afterwards I told her how suprised I was that she got that undressed. She said Its all professional as you can see. I get undressed for my doctor and you don't have a problem with that do you? I guess after that I had no real problem with it (even though he was a younger good looking male). I will say though she only had her bra undone while she was laying on her stomach. As soon as he wanted her to roll over, he hooked her bra back up. She never was laying on her back topless. I would be suspicious of someone that required her to do this. It doesn't seem to be professional. Ask her why she lays on her back topless. Most therapists will let you undress down to what you feel comfortable with. They won't require you to be naked.
 
#16 ·
My wife and I recently took a vacation to Thailand and while we were there went to a massage/spa recommended by our host. It was a smaller private house and the couple we were staying with knew the owner and his wife. We had a joint massage and although we both started naked, covered with a large towel, as the husband worked on my wife he kept lowering the towel until she was completely uncovered. At first I felt a little uncomfortable but since our hosts had recommended them, I thought it was just the custom there. She was just having a deep tissue massage and as he worked on her legs, it was pretty clear that he could see between them from behind.

When I started to think about it, I found it fairly sexually arousing and actualy got an erection as his wife worked on my lower back and buttocks. When I finally had to turn over, my penis was fully erect and I was completely embarrassed, hoping that my wife would not turn to look over at me. But the wife that was doing me was completely professional and did not pay attention to it. Eventually it subsided, and I turned over again as she finished.

When my wife turned over, she was covered, and although he only lowered the towel to the tops of her breasts, he eventuall raised the lower half until her entire pubic triangle was exposed. But neither of them ever touched our genitals the entire time. My point in writing this is that I should probably asked them to keep us covered, but my erotic curiousity at having strange man see my wife nude took over. I think there must be other men out there that feel the same way, but does that make me a bad person? I don't know and am curious what others think or if others have had an experience like this.
 
#17 ·
When my wife and I were on our honeymoon about ten years ago when we were a little more adventuresome, we ordered a male masseur to come to the room and give a massage while I watched. We were just back from the pool when he arrived and my wife removed her bikini in front of him and he gave her a bath before giving her a complete nude massage. I must admit it was a turn on for me to see her oiled up with this younger guy and completley nude. We haven't done much more like that since but I still get turned on when I think about it.
 
#19 ·
For what it's worth I don't think it is right. I just got a massage the other day and the gal working on me adjusted the sheet over my nipples after it had moved down. I am a man BTW so it didn't bother me that my chest was exposed, but she told my they weren't supposed to expose the nipples. As for removing the blanket at any time I call BS. The blanket is there to keep the person warm and the muscles relaxed. From the sound of it the guy isn't to professional. JMO
 
#22 ·
As a European masseur, I can tell you it is quite normal for the client to be nude in some settings. It depends where you go. If you see a massage therapist who works in a treatment room in a gymnasium, you will be offered towels, but you may be able to request nudity. If you go to an aromatherapist however, you will be expected to keep most of your underwear on, and they will tuck the towel under your boxers/knickers to make absolutly sure there is no accidental exposure.

When people come to someone like me, who works at home, I am so used to doing people nude that I only offer towels if they come across as old-fashioned. I have towels clearly visible on the shelf, so they can always ask. But quite frankly, people like the feel of being able to relax naked in a warm room with someone running their hands all over them.

Your wife probably gets a kick out of being massaged nude. This may not be such a bad thing - she may come home horny, and expect you to deal with it :D If you lose your aggravated attitude, you may be in for a good time.

Masseurs are used to dealing with naked people all day long. This guy may or may not want to take advantage, you need to work out if he has the right boundaries in place or not. In the meantime... RELAX
 
#23 ·
I think its bang out of order for guys to let their wifes have these types of massages. Reverse the roles what the guys got a massage off hot half dressed girls taking pants off and massaging **** under bedsheets! how would the wifes feel. I think its disgusting. A massage with the same sex is okay but still why can't the husbands and wifes massage each other its free and it increases the relationship between the 2 better? There are online and offline courses, books etc that teach you how to massage like a pro invest in that rather than paying all that money for a 30min/1hr session.
 
#24 ·
Your wife is comfortable with the massage she is having, and you should not be interfering - you have an over-active imagination which is fantasizing all sorts of worse-case scenarios.

You are showing signs of being a control freak.
I think you should trust her completely instead of acting like a jerk.
 
#43 ·
What a load of crap. If your spouse is comfortable doing something and your not, you should just let them do it? What kind of relationship is that? If a wife doesn't like her husband surfing porn, but the husband is comfortable with it, is the wife a control freak?

Sorry--if you are in a committed relationship and truly love and respect one another, then your partners feelings are, um IMPORTANT. Communication is important here.

I wonder if the roles were reversed and he was getting a massage from a comely young woman, buck naked and sporting an erection. How would the wife feel then?
 
#26 ·
What does it matter? It's likely the masseur sees nudity everyday and is not interested in looking at you wife anyway. I've been going to same masseur for a couple of years now and although I'm covered with a towel I'm sure he's seen all of me at one point. It's not something you should worry about. He's a professional. My husband didn't like me getting massages from a man at the beginning but now he's used to it. Get over it and stop wasting energy being jealous.
 
#30 ·
I visit my masseur at his private studio. He's 20, I'm in my (uhhh) late thirties. I don't think he's interested in seeing the fun bits of an older lady. I think he just wants to get the job done and not fuss with a towel. And is it so bad that it turns me on a little? My husband gets all the benefits. Are there any other men out there whose wife is regularly exposed nude to another man. How do you feel about it?
 
#31 ·
Speaking from personal experience as a massage therapist in the US. This type of draping is not common, but also not totally unheard of. We spend our days rubbing lotion on people with no clothes.....it's not exactly stimulating. Professionalism is important, but with a regular client, you develop a relationship that is geared toward the clients comfort level.

Of course she "enjoys the touch" as someone mentioned. He's a professional 'toucher-of persons.' Having been on both sides of the table so-to-speak, the idea that he does this to get erotic pleasure from looking at your wifes boobs is silly. You get in "the zone" doing the same thing you do 6 times a day.

The chance that she does this to bathe is his male attention is only as likely as you (who know her best) think it is.

The fact that you and wifey haven't talked about boundaries in these situations is not his problem. Also, I doubt your approach of wanting control of what she does with her body when she's not on your time isn't going over well with her.
 
#32 ·
My wife had a short-term affair with a massage therapist (from a national chain) who was 15-20 years her junior. IT CAN HAPPEN! It just about put us in divorced court and took an entire year for the marriage to get back to half way normal. I bought into the whole "massage professional" thing also and until she brought home a STD from the twenty-something boy. For those who compare massage therapist to doctors; keep in mind, doctors are 100 times smarter and richer than your average massage therapist. They also have 1000 times more too lose. There is also a nurse in the room much of the time. By the way, the affair started right in the massage room after a few weeks of regular massages.

Ladies ... no matter who the male therapist is, if you are half way decent looking, he's thinking about more than the massage. That is a fact.
 
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