Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Resently the wife and I were talking about past lovers. Hold on befor you bash me about asking questions that one doesn't really want to know the answers to. We were just talking and the topic came up. I asked if she had ever been with anyone the she remembered especially and why. She responded with yes. She was reluctant to say why but I was insistent on knowing why. She eventually told me that this guy was very large if you get my drift. So my stupid a-- asked the question that changed my life "HOW LARGE WAS HE?" I could not belive the words as they came out of her mouth "at least 12.5 thick inches". I lost my mind and all of my manhood. Now I have been with my wife for 16+ years and her vigina has always been very loose. She gave birth to three 9lb. babies with no stitches at all. Now I know why(she has no insides!!!!)
I am devistated I am a very small man (you know what I mean). I could never fill her the way he did and I am no longer interested in sex with her. I'm I crazy? or just have a brused ego? eather way our sex life is OVER!!!!!!!!!!
im sorry she told you. my H has asked about my boyfriends and i omitted the guy that had a very large one. i had heard guys were very sensitive about that and so i never told my H even though he has asked me a million times. my H is actually quite small compared to others. It was pretty stupid of your wife to tell you about that.
Okay, maybe this is just justifying (and ladies. . .feel free to say I am) but in my opinion, this is what I think that women like out of a penis, in this order:
1. Hardness/rigidity
2. Thickness
3. Length
now, when i say "what they like", it's those factors that will acheive the big O for them. Length only pounds against their uterus and the Big O doesn't happen there. it happens at the clit and the G spot, which is only 1-2" inside at most.
Bad news: I'll concede length is the most visually attractive. i am 5 3/4 " long (depending where you measure, lol). . .damn, more than half as long as that stud. I'll never be a porn star. I am guessing i am decently thick (about the thickness of a toilet paper tube, maybe a little thicker).
Good news: the rigidity you can control.
I fast regularly and damn, man to man here. . . they are teenager hard if you know what I mean, especially the morning post-fast (36 hour mark). Only alcohol and performance anxiety can ruin that for me.
So, you aren't the longest, maybe not the thickest. . .but you can be the hardest you wife ever had the pleasure of having the pleasure pounded out of her by because as Dr. Oz says, the penis is a good "dipstick" of male health. If you are controlling your health, your penis will have good, quality erections (and maybe sometimes I even top 6 " ).
So focus on the things you can control. I honestly think a woman doesn't want a soft long 12.5 inch snake in her. . .she rather have a rock hard, spongy rod in her to grind and rock against.
We (I author this with another physician) haven't gotten to discussing male sexual health but the connection to fasting and male sexual health is postulated to be thus:
1. Blood flow is directed away from the intestines and into the skeletal muscle and elsewhere during a fast. Try having sex after a big meal - it often doesn't work too well for the male. It's better to feed the female, make her feel all warm and cuddly and with wine and food. . . for the male - avoid it. Sometimes when I was with my gf, I would just pretend to eat and drink.
Think about it from a caveman perspective - to mate with females from an evolutionary perspective, caveman brought cavewoman food and sex was traded.
It was a worthy exchange
We just do it today at Olive Garden but for all intents and purposes, we are still caveman and cavewoman. (ladies, put on your leopard panties )
2. The body is either "sympathetic dominant" or "parasympathetic dominant." There are actually tests that are starting to quantify this called Human Heartrate Variability. Anyway, The sympathetic nervous system is "Fight or Flight" and parasympathetic is "Feed and Breed." When you fast, you are mentally preparing to "feed and breed."
This is why you are frightened (let's say the kids walk into the bedroom when you are making love with the wife), you'll immediately deflate. YOu are in "fight or flight." When you fast, the opposite is occuring. . .your primal brain is preparing to "hunt" (for food or sex).
(the nervous system component of this is very complex)
3. Human growth hormone is released during an extended fast. This is the hormone of "youth" that makes you all horny, causes growth, gives you athletic performance but decreases with age, precipitiously after age 30.
4. A fast is a "natural fat flush", which over time will increase vascular flow to your penis, or in the healthcare world, we like to say, your d**k, your schl*ng, your pec**r, your weiner, your jimmy.
5. We arent' sure if there is some connection to nitric oxide (how Viagra works - actually my physician counterpart is more familiar with the drugs than I) release. The other connections above to me have stronger evidence.
Throughout the fast and espeically in the morning is the best time (there may be some interaction with cortisol?). Climb aboard ladies in the morning.
Anyway, age isn't really a determining factor for fasting, unless you are "elderly" (for a cutoff we'll say age 65 on that, although that may be unfair).
It's your health status. Diabetics, esp. insulin dependent, SHOULD NOT FAST. REPEAT - NOT. Medications, thyroid problems, cancer, eating disorders all have to be taken into account. That being said, compared to the drug laden interventionalist system we exist in America, it's a very safe practice.
It won't kill you and you won't starve.
I hope this helps. Contact me via private message if you want to know more.
I wanted to add one more thing. . .about eating disorders and males and females.
We also postulate that males are a little more a better gender to fast because they are at lower risk for an eating disorder and less likely to abuse the practice.
Eating disorders tend to be more disorders of self-image rather than a nutritional disorder. It's been psychologically studied when a man looks in the mirror and puffs out his chest and sucks in his gut, he's seeing the positive - big shoulders, chest, whatever. Women scrutinize their bodies more in the mirror and see the negative - my thighs are fat, my butt is big, etc.
The anorexic woman truly sees a fat woman in the mirror.
Not saying women can't or shouldn't fast. . .just that males are a little lower risk for abusing the powerful intervention.
As our website says though, fasting is to be practiced with good nourishment and activity (of which sex counts )
I am devistated I am a very small man (you know what I mean). I could never fill her the way he did and I am no longer interested in sex with her. I'm I crazy? or just have a brused ego? eather way our sex life is OVER!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah i have heard that the male ego resides in their organ... so u feel like yr ego is crushed by the bigger one that your wife once slept with...
But as a woman, let me tell you, you are making a bigger issue out of this that it really is, by going completely off sex...
1. You insisted on knowing her secret in the first place (she may have been stupid to brag about the big one)
2. You perhaps are 'assuming' she misses the size cos she still remembers it and so you've lost your esteem and libido. But pls know that she perhaps still remembers it 'for the visual effect' it had and not particularly cos size really matters to her.
3. You must know by now what women want more than the size - is love, intimacy and a feeling of being cared and belonged to. If you are providing these to her, let me tell you, you can throw your insecurities right out the window and rest assured that you are the best that she would want in live and NOT the huge d***ed man.
4. Research has shown time and again that almost 70% of women do not reach orgasm during intercourse and need oral or clitoral stimulation to achieve it. So more often than not your size is not able to accomplish what your skill as a lover will.
5. You started the whole thing and now its YOU who's deciding to end it, by taking the extreme measure -
Yeah i have heard that the male ego resides in their organ... so u feel like yr ego is crushed by the bigger one that your wife once slept with...
But as a woman, let me tell you, you are making a bigger issue out of this that it really is, by going completely off sex...
1. You insisted on knowing her secret in the first place (she may have been stupid to brag about the big one)
2. You perhaps are 'assuming' she misses the size cos she still remembers it and so you've lost your esteem and libido. But pls know that she perhaps still remembers it 'for the visual effect' it had and not particularly cos size really matters to her.
3. You must know by now what women want more than the size - is love, intimacy and a feeling of being cared and belonged to. If you are providing these to her, let me tell you, you can throw your insecurities right out the window and rest assured that you are the best that she would want in live and NOT the huge d***ed man.
4. Research has shown time and again that almost 70% of women do not reach orgasm during intercourse and need oral or clitoral stimulation to achieve it. So more often than not your size is not able to accomplish what your skill as a lover will.
5. You started the whole thing and now its YOU who's deciding to end it, by taking the extreme measure - thats unfair and presumptuous.
QUOTED FOR TRUTH!!! Go to any sex toy site and look under the dildo section all the big stuff and read the reviews. Who is buying this stuff? Is it women? NO, it's their husbands time and time again rarely is it a woman. Guys have a hang up on penis size. Every guy wishes they were some 10" monster, but a recent poll showed over 87% of women were satisfied with their partners penis size.
I can't stress to you enough it's a guy thing. Yeah 4" might be too small and 8" might be too big, for 99% average is perfect it's all in the love making itself. If size matterred that much women would be buying huge sex toys all day long...do you see that?
My wife and I have experimented alot and in the end like others have said "She likes ever so slightly above average sized me" the best.
Communicate, talk about sex, what makes her hot, you hot, have fun, light some candles, drink some wine or whatever, have fun!!! Size rarely matters!! Remember she picked you, married you, loves you, and has sex with you!!
Did it make you excited when she told you have the large one. She she say how thick it was and how it felt. Maybe you really want to hear all about it.
Communicate, talk about sex, what makes her hot, you hot, have fun, light some candles, drink some wine or whatever, have fun!!! Size rarely matters!! Remember she picked you, married you, loves you, and has sex with you!!
Right on!!! BALDBEAVEREATER, this is what you should do and NOT take an extreme stance to call off the entire sex thing...
No matter whom or what size your wife slept with - SHE CHOSE YOU AND LOVES YOU - please remember THAT above all else...
Your charictorization about childbirth (ease of it) and her having been with mr. Big Di#@ seems to be a little rediculous.
Don't confuse the fact that she remembers it as she misses it. If you dated a girl who had FFF breasts this would not be something you would forget but, that doesn't mean you sit around reminiscing about them. If you are small and she maried you anyway this is a testimony that size is just isnt important to her. If it were she would have sought another man based upon penis size. Your ego is bruise yes but your penis is still the same size as it was before you found this out. Withholding sex will show that you are insecure. I personally (and many women will agree) that being insecure will prove to be more of an issue than what you are feeling insecure about.
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Re: Feeling extra small in the sack.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BALDBEAVEREATER
"at least 12.5 thick inches".
Just remember that 99.9% of us would feel small compared to that. The male ego can be pretty fragile in this area. She married you not John Holmes. Withholding sex will only stress your relationship with her. Let it go and move on.
Ouch. No, seriously ... ouch. That may be impressive as a freakish kind of memory - but that's too big for most women. Now, concerning your wife ... is she having orgasms regularly in your sex life? If she is, you have nothing to worry about. If she's not, it wouldn't be penis length that would get you there, so I'd shift your focus to what skill you're missing or not using that's leaving her high and dry.
What women want are: ORGASMS! If a guy had a 1/2" penis but he could rock her world with that one, then that guy would be it. So stop worrying about the size and start worrying about whether she's coming.
Feeling extra small in the sack. 
).
