michzz

Yes, an affair is always destructive to a marriage. Can a marriage recover?

I suppose so, but not to a better place than a good marriage that has not had an affair, IMHO.

To me, it is like how someone who is paralyzed can lead a good life in the wheelchair. But guess what, they always would like to walk again.

valaria

You need to be honest with your spouse, and your sex partner needs to be honest with his spouse there are certain "rules" to being with someone other than your spouse. #1 is they need to be aware the situation has deteriorated to this point, and if they still can't commit to having sex w/you then you set ground rules for sex outside the relationship. As far as getting "reemed" what works for one couple doesn't always work for another... and I don't believe sex outside of marriage ALWAYS ruins the marriage...commitment, and intimacy and respect are part of your marriage,,,sex is a physical act that doesn't need or REQUIRE any of those properties..sex is mechanics and you do not need to love someone to have great sex... you just need to be able to separate the two and so does your spouse...let your man know you love and want him and will never leave him but if he isn't willing to have a physical relationship (sex) you WILL get it somewhere else...a sexless marriage is not worth the price you will pay, your married not a nun.