Best time for sex?
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 04-17-2010, 06:33 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Best time for sex?

I am curious if any other couples have this issue? My wife desires to have sex before bed. After a long day at work and everything with kids activities and dealing with a Mom in a nursing home by the time we are alone in bed I am exhausted. If she does start things I can usually come around but I dont start things. I wake up in the morning refreshed and ready to go. Her warm naked body next to me and after snuggling I am ready but she wants to sleep. I get pushed away and she moans I need more sleep. I usualy leave frustrated and head to work. Sometimes after I do get up and get in the shower ready to head to work she will wake up and ask me to come back to bed and by then I am fighting time to get to work without being late. I get frustrated that when I wake up early willing to wake her slowly and have sex she wants to sleep but if I get up and start to head to work she is then willing to be sexual knowing I will be late. Sometimes she seems like she loves to tease me get me all excited and then send me to work. Whats up with that?

Once I texted her and told her I was on my way home from work. I had her make sure the kids were downstairs watching TV and that she should be in our bedroom naked and in postion so when I get home I would come right upstairs and be making love no less than 30 seconds after walking in the door. She brings this up all the time as being one of the hottest things I have told her to do. I want to do it again but I also dont want this to loose how special it was for us both. We were both wide awake and we realy enjoyed our time.

Now that the days are longer I do hope we can make use of the time and go for a drive after work and find some special hidden place so we can fool around in the car again like we did as teenagers. The outdoors can be great untill the bugs and mosqutos show up.
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Old 04-17-2010, 08:54 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Best time for sex?

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Originally Posted by Happyquest View Post
My wife desires to have sex before bed. After a long day at work by the time we are alone in bed I am exhausted. I wake up in the morning refreshed and ready to go. Her warm naked body next to me...
Sounds exactly how things are with my husband and me. I don't like to have my sleep disturbed in the morning, but that is his prime time. He is in the medical field and has explained about hormones and peaks in the early morning hours. I wish I could remember what he explained, but what you are experiencing is biological. Your body is preparing for the day and surges of hormones occur naturally.

How to reconcile the difference between you & her? Don't really have an answer to that. In our situation, we just do it at night AND in the morning, with less of my 'involvement' in the morning.

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I want to do it again but I also dont want this to loose how special it was for us both. We were both wide awake and we realy enjoyed our time.
I would advise to do it again or some version of it. You won't ruin the memory of the first time you did this. You could consider sending her sexy text messages throughout the day before telling her to wait for you in bed. There are many variations on the same theme. Use your imagination - it obviously was a great idea!!

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fool around in the car again like we did as teenagers.
If she's into creativity like you, you will be fine and have the hottest sex life you can imagine. And your imagination will probably help spark hers!
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Old 04-17-2010, 09:19 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Best time for sex?

Few things. With the morning problem, just wake up a little earlier, so that when it happens you are not running late.

On the texting to be ready... Just find unique ways... Heck dont text, when you get home have a plan for the kids and wisk her away... there are a number of things...

As for you being tired at the end of the day, just go up to bed a little earlier.
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Old 04-17-2010, 12:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Best time for sex?

@Happyquest, you and your wife have sex, just not at the time you would like? It could be worse.

I'm not trying to minimize your situation. I can understand that it is frustrating, troublesome, etc. But at least you have a foundation to build from! Keep that bit of optimism in mind, and it might give you strength to tackle the problem creatively, and with love.
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Old 04-17-2010, 06:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Best time for sex?

It is very normal for men to prefer morning love making, this is when their testosterone levels are highest. I always preferred it at night also over morning-back in the day. This probably kept us from having sex "as much" over the years.

See if you can get her to go to sleep a little earlier at night, so she can get up a little earlier before work -for you-set that alarm & have that morning Romp, just takes a little planning. I purposely allow my husband to go to bed earlier when I am hoping for a morning session - before work. I no longer prefer night over morning, I now prefer whenever he is the horniest.

Your wife needs to take advantage of these times.
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Old 04-17-2010, 11:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Best time for sex?

Thanks for all the replies. My little trick is I get up early and make cofffee and birng it back to her to have. It seems like a few sips of hot coffee in bed helps he wake up. That is a bonus for me. See my earlier post about finding things to do with warm coffee it feels great when you go down on you wife after taking a few sips of hot coffee and your mouth is extra hot. We both love it.

I try to find new ways to keep the spice in our sex life. Been married 24 years now it takes some imagination!
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