What is the deal with Blow Jobs?
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 04-27-2010, 09:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

What is the deal with men wanting blow jobs all the time? Please help me understand... Don't get me wrong when me and my hubby started dating I loved giving him BJ but the longer we are together more he seems to want just the BJ not sex. Why would a men want just a BJ when he could have it all.. My hubby always says he will return the favor later when I give him a BJ or wants to get me off with a toy that day. I don't like to get off all the time with a toy I perfer him. When I was getting all my needs meet I didn't mind giving BJ every now and then but I feel use now when that is just what he wants. Any ideas what I can do or help me understand?
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Old 04-27-2010, 09:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

I think they get lazy! But it is also the visual thing. And it lets them get pleasure without having to do much.

My hubs(fiance at the time) started to head down this path after we moved in together. We talked and I explained that even though I really love giving BJs he would get more and better ones if he took care of my needs.

Sure, he still gets a little greedy sometimes. But so can I. We just try to learn how to read each other and speak up about it.

Doesn't always work but for the most part it does.
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Old 04-27-2010, 10:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

Well, a bj is a big deal to a guy but when it starts takeing the place of intercourse, then speaking as a guy thats being selfish. I love them but rarely does our sex interaction end with a bj. If I orgasm then we wait until im ready to go again and then its all about her. Mostly my wife does it because its to her benefit! You know what I mean?
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Old 04-28-2010, 01:15 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

BJ's are just freakin hot...they feel alot different than normal sex, but I'm surprised that he doesn't want to return the favor...he should feel lucky to have a woman that wants him to return the favor...
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Old 04-28-2010, 01:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

I don't understand that either. I like BJ's here and there as well but I never prefer them to sex. I'd always rather 'have it all' as you put it.
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Old 04-28-2010, 02:18 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

Whats a blowjob? I think I have forgotten after 6 years of marriage.
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Old 04-28-2010, 02:46 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

Hmm..sounds like he's not much into being intimate with you. He wants to get off and end it. He could be tired (physically) or it could be that he's not feeling much for you.

I love giving a BJ to my husband as part of foreplay but if it was the ONLY thing habitually I'd be worried. I'd talk to him about this and see if there's a deeper problem here.
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Old 04-28-2010, 02:52 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

He is being selfish.

And probably a domineering. Oral is one of those things you associate with really trying to please the partner. If you are only desiring to be pleased you being totally selfish and in a sense placing yourself on a pedestal to be worshiped by the other. OK, that may be going a bit too far, but I think you get the idea.

Self absorbed - selfish
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Old 04-28-2010, 06:09 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

From my understanding a there is no way of explaing the feeling of a BJ! But if "BJ" is all that is happing then I am going to have to lean towards him being way selfish! Maybe try teasing a little by making him want you. You know you can totally controll the BJ. Say no hands make him want to touch you, play dress up! Get a little kinky while performing this BJ, hey you may be surprised by his reaction and end up both of you satisfied!
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Old 04-29-2010, 06:21 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

Why do we want BJs? Because they are wonderful. However if he is expecting it without in return pleasuring you, and if it is not a part of reciprocal, loving play then I would say that there are underlying issues that need to be addressed. Once in a (long) while of do me and "I'll get you later" might be one thing, but if he is regularly expecting to be pleasured without in return pleasuring you in a give and take relationship then there is a problem. Love is about giving and not receiving, and love making should be no different.
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Old 04-29-2010, 01:34 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

He's being selfish.

Next time (and each after until your point has gotten across) start him off, make sure he's nicely worked up, then stop well BEFORE he orgasms and say "I'll get you later" and walk away LOL.
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Old 04-29-2010, 02:11 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

Oh man, I just LOVE that one!
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Old 03-11-2011, 04:41 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsbroken View Post
What is the deal with men wanting blow jobs all the time? Please help me understand... Don't get me wrong when me and my hubby started dating I loved giving him BJ but the longer we are together more he seems to want just the BJ not sex. Why would a men want just a BJ when he could have it all.. My hubby always says he will return the favor later when I give him a BJ or wants to get me off with a toy that day. I don't like to get off all the time with a toy I perfer him. When I was getting all my needs meet I didn't mind giving BJ every now and then but I feel use now when that is just what he wants. Any ideas what I can do or help me understand?
Ask and you shall receive:

Why Men Love Blow-jobs | The Feminine Woman
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Old 03-11-2011, 05:44 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

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Originally Posted by married&lovingit View Post
March 14th is Monday

Post will be deleted the 15th
I like the way you think
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Old 03-11-2011, 06:38 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is the deal with Blow Jobs?

It is selfish, and I am guilty of it.

Nothing is better than a BJ for me, nothing on this planet that I know of.

She has a lower sex sex drive and is incapable of orgasm. I tried so hard to be patient in helping her with this. I got a book and would make suggestions. She is very conservative and self conscious, so she did not want to focus on it. Over time, the sex became one sided. She would just satisfy me, and I would not reciprocate.

She eventually had an affair.
I think the affair was partly a byproduct of this dynamic.
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