Re: My husband wants me to
I cant really comment on this too much, but Ill try. I feel similarly to MarkTwain in that there are 2 schools of men... jealous and not. Since you have had such a wonderful marriage to this point and know that he loves you, keep believing that and try not to take this as a sign he doesnt love you. My first husband loved me enough to have an open marriage, even though neither of us acted on it, or at least I didnt, but I also wasnt concerned if he did... I wanted him to be happy and if that made him happy, great.
I think its alot of pressure on a marriage to assume that one and only for life is always enough. For some it is, for others it isnt. You feel shocked that your husband isnt a one and only man anymore. Take some time to think it through and maybe believe that it is a true gift for a spouse to love and trust enough to allow something like that. My new spouse is very jealous (even though he states I am the jealous one.... he doesnt know at all). I feel trapped my his mentality... my last husband was not jealous and I never had a thought of cheating... this possessive one, I do.
It may be hard to grasp, and I also wouldnt jump to the conclusion that he is trying to open up the door of "I let you, now you have to let me..." ask him if its simply a fantasy of his or if he wants to have an open marriage, then you will have your answer. You cannot go into this or not go into this without that knowledge as you will be more conflicted. If its truly just a fantasy of his and you cannot do it, then role play it a bit within the marriage. Maybe set up an IM chat with your husband and merely just describe an encounter, a fictional one, with another man and indulge his fantasy a bit... he may get off on just hearing about it. FInd a romance novel if you cant creatively type about one and type in the first person an encounter in one of those books, pretending its you. See how it goes, as it sounds like he would love to hear about that. I mean you didnt state that he wanted to watch you, so he doesnt have to know that you never did!
My current husband got aroused just talking about a threesome, saying it was really cool I brought it up. I thought that meant he really wanted us to. I registered on Adult Friend Finder to find someone and then asked him who he wanted me to look for and he even said "you know my type..." Then, I got nervous and told him I couldnt do it, I was having trouble finding someone, and he said he didnt want to either, he just thought it was cool we were talking about it. I was in tears bc I was so nervous, but it was all just the talk he liked.
Anway, I hope that helps.