Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
In my last post I wrote about my wife having sex with a man that was very large. We have attempted to have sex a few times since. It ended with me loosing my erection because of the thought or fear that I would not be able to satisfy her the way he did. Now I know that size is not all that matters, but the way she talked about him let me know that she really enjoyed him. I just can't compete. I have tried to get past it and she has been very supportive but I find myself thinking about him hitting all the spots that I just can't reach and I retreat into my deepest fears. I think we are headed for ruff waters and I don't know if I want her any more. I need professional help.
I hoped no one responded to your other post because it is just too ridiculous you talking about your wife's past lover, how loose she is, and 9lb pound babies. Insane! And I see their encouraging responses and helpful advice didn't help one bit. You're still looking at this all wrong.
At least this time, you are more reflective and considerate. However, after saying "I know that size is not all that matters" it doesn't appear you do truly know or believe that. Perhaps she did enjoy that guy, but that doesn't mean the enjoyment had anything to do with his size. There is a thread in this same forum from a woman complaining that her husband's large penis is very painful for her. It can be very painful and unpleasant for any woman if the man doesn't know how to use his tool. If your wife enjoyed that guy, it means he knew how to make love to her, which also means he did it well despite his large size. By the same token, a man who is less endowed also needs to know how to use his tool. As much as anything else, a guy has to be confident. You have lost yours for no reason at all. Check my response in the link for a method of love making designed just for you.
Before you go making decisions for the woman who loves YOU, married YOU, and stayed with YOU for 16 plus years and making her feel bad....and before you decide to ruin the lives of those three 9lb babies, please get yourself counseling to help with your inferiority complex. That's what this is all about, not your wife's past lover.
And just so you know - although you still won't believe it - almost no woman gets stitches after childbirth anymore. Doctors prefer they heal on their own these days.
Susan, nobody gets stitches anymore? Wow, I wish that happened when I had my two, now 17 and 12. The episiotomy and stitches were more painful than the 25 and 24 hour labor. Thank God medicine advances.
Is that what I said? No it isn't. I said "almost no woman," but you come up with a situation that doesn't even apply just for the sake of disputing what I said. Which means you didn't dispute what I said. You received an episiotomy. The doctor cut you. Of course he's going to stitch you back up. BALDBEAVEREATER didn't say anything about an episiotomy. Neither did I.
If you are truly that worried about just the size, get a penis extension. You'll both enjoy it. Problem solved.
If it's that you are worried that you can't satisfy her, aren't good enough, etc... That is an insecurity issue. If your wife tells you that she is satisfied with you, then you have to accept that as her truth and start working to increase your own self esteem and self confidence because it's YOU that isn't satisfied with YOU, not about her at all.
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If you are truly that worried about just the size, get a penis extension. You'll both enjoy it. Problem solved.
whatever you do, dont get a penis extension. it only adds a little bit of length and the risks are ridiculous (including erectile dysfunction). I wouldnt be messing around with that area if I were you.
Size does not matter. Its what you do with it. My husband is big (11inches) and this type of size is limiting in terms of sexual positions. It can also be painful if we are not careful.
I think the thing that is most damaging here, is your lack of self-confidence. Sex is not about the physical stuff for a women, but about the love and connection, the bond of oneness you forge. I'd rather my husband be 1 inch long, loving, faithful and attentive than an 11 inch infidel.
Also, most of the stimulation women feel is in the clitoris and 1 inch deep in the vagina. Focus on those areas and less on your own penis and you'll have one happy woman.
I agree with everyone here... its an insecurity issue. Please do your family a favor and seek help for ways to feel better about yourself and increase your sexual know how so that you believe you are pleasing to your wife.
Look at some point in time we all have size issuse if you are not well endowed there, I have the same situation as you, but I try to focus on her not me, trust me I have issues too. I love my wife deeply and slowly I am getting over her past and realized it was me and my issues, that she married me not anyone else and that my friend is so sacried to me that she chose me not the one with the big **** one the one with the hot bike etc etc... I love her she loves me and we are willing to get through anything that may come our way. Just relax and dont do anything stupid, do not become another faiedl marriage statistic!
dude, do not end your marriage over such a silly issue. Don't know if you ever played sports, but my coach would always tell us that there is always someone bigger, stronger, faster, or better than us at something. Same thing with size.....if you have 6, there is someone with 7.
In regards to marriage, obviously she married you. I think in your original post you said you had been married at least 10 years. Just let it be man. You can't change the past...just live in the present. Thank God everyday that your wife has given you children and that you have each other.
I mean, you have to know if you end your marriage and get with another woman, the same issue will likely arise (if you already have issues with your size). It's the honest truth.... Posted via Mobile Device
Agree with other posts.
If your wife thought a big D@#% was important and yours is not then realize this is not important.
What will you do then shop for a new women who size doesn't matter too....you have already found one. I may have been with women who were smaller (which has the equavelent of a being bigger) but that doesn't matter
Anything you really need to hit in your wife can be reached with any penis. And obviously you have if she married you.
The bigger problem is your reaction. Insecurity is a much bigger turn off then any lack of size. Your insecurity is going to ruin things for you and your wife NOT any size issues.
Agree with you on one point. YOu need professional help.
One thing most women will not be honest (it's mostly the girth) about is the size of your 'Johnson'...either they haven't had one YET or they are lying...when a woman rolls her eyes back behind her head during sex hopefully you're the one she's going at it with...because she's never gonna forget that feeling.
there are ways to naturally increase the length of your penis..stretching is one..I heard about 15 minutes a day of full erect penis stretching works..like actually pulling it..not too hard though..I gotta do a google search on this.
Still having size issues 
They say you are what you eat, so why not eat to promote passion, ultimate health and the utmost of sensuality? 
