06-11-2010, 09:14 AM
Join Date: Jun 2010
| | bored
Iím 36 years old, married for 9 years, known him for about 14 years. When I first met him I though he was kind of a jerk, but he was so cute. We dated for a few years, but he never wanted to settle down. Then we broke up. About a year later, out of the blue, he contacts me. We start dating again and this time end up marrying. He never officially proposed. We just picked a date that looked good and went with it. This was my first marriage and his second (he married very young and it lasted less than a year). Naturally I wanted the whole dealÖthe dress, the cake, etc. He did not. He dragged his feet about almost everything, which made me feel like he didnít want to get married. I feel like I forced him into doing something he didnít want to do. And I still feel this way. When I ask him he says that if he didnít want to be with me, he wouldnít.
Now, 9 years later, we infrequently have sexÖmaybe once or twice a month. When I ask for it, he has an excuse, like heís tired or his stomach hurts. When we do, heís always childish about it. He acts like a 12 year old boy that is seeing boobs for the first time, which is a huge turnoff for me. But, if our lack of sex life is mentioned, I usually get the blame. I honestly do not believe he is cheatingÖbetween work, playing computer games, and golf, he has no time. He was raised in an extremely strict religious home and I donít think the thought of straying has ever crossed his mind. But it has mine. I work with a lot of men, most of which have flirted with me at some point. I have never told my husband this because over the years he has made comments, like donít run away with one of your boyfriends today. I used to just ignore the advances I would get. But now, itís attention Iím not getting at home and I like it. A few weeks ago, things escalated with a co-worker to a short make-out session that now I want to take further. I know itís wrong and mean and completely awful. But I just want to have some fun. My husband is very closed minded and would never think of doing anything racy. In fact, if I suggested anything new, he would accuse me of things and would demand to know where I learned such ideas. Thatís why Iíve never brought the issue of making things exciting up to him. I feel like Iím not allowed to be sexual and experimental.
Iím not sure what Iím asking here. Technically I have already cheated. I know what Iíve done so far is wrong and what Iím thinking about doing is even worse. Iím just so bored, not only in the bedroom, but with my life in general.