I don't think he loves me. I really don't. I don't think he knows what love is. I think he just likes playing house. He says he loves me, but his actions to me speak otherwise.
He loves his children. He loves his mom. He loves his computer games. But I'm always last in line. I'm always behind his job, the kids, the computer friends. So no, I do not think he loves me for me.
Talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel without mincing words. Will it help things? I can't guarantee that, but at least he won't be able to say you didn't tell him anything.
But I can totally relate to you on the above points. I told my husband the other day "you don't love me, you love the things I do for you. Every time I ask why you love me, you start talking about what I do, not who I am". Then, he threw out the generic "you're sweet, that's why I love you..." comment. Excuse me? Lol, I'm not a "sweet" person. Out of all the adjectives I can use to describe myself, "sweet" is not one of them.
Anyway, we also have an issue with him not putting me first, and I told him that I won't be in a marriage where I'm not top priority, since I make him mine.
I really can't give you much advice other than talking, since I still have problems with this myself. Threatening to divorce didn't help my situation, neither did separating from him for 7 months...he just returned to the same person I left within days after I agreed to reconcile.