Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. For her to say you are oversexed, how often are we talking?
And most people have formed/verbalized their theories and philosophies on the various aspects of life, but very few live up to them. Very few put any action behind the philosophy. Do you? You said, "I am of the mind set that a women is to be charished and love because she is the giver of life
" so in what ways do you show her how cherished she is? You said, "I am married to a woman that I have loved for 17 years
" so in what ways do you go about showing your love?
Normally, men and women equate love, sex, and affection very differently. If every hug or kiss has to turn into sex, she naturally feels objectified because she doesn't want every hug or kiss to be loaded. Sometimes, she just wants them to be a hug or kiss. If every gesture or attempt to *show* your love has to serve as your personal portal to sex tonight, then she naturally feels objectified because your efforts were obviously insincere and not for her at all, so she won't appreciate the sad attempt at subterfuge. I could go on but I think you get the message.
To help you understand, this is your biggest clue right here.
Originally Posted by bigdaddy41
On the other hand I feel as a husband, and as a man, that my wife should be the object of my sexual desires.
It is wonderful, truly wonderful that your wife is the object of your desire. The problem is that she does not know it because that is not the message you convey to her. What is the impression you give her? This is..........
Originally Posted by bigdaddy41
If I can't turn to her when I am horny who do I turn to?
Very Big! Extremely huge! Humongous and Gigantic mistake! LOL You mean those two statements as one in the same, but they are different as night and day. This is what I mean by men and women equate sex and affection very differently. You equate desiring your wife and being horny as the same thing. Most men do, so you are not at fault being that it's human nature for the male species. But to facilitate harmony in your marriage, you have to understand the female psyche and how differently your wife feels those two statements are. She, as a woman, wants to be desired, wants to feel desired, wants her man to desire her. She does not, however, want to feel like your human blow up doll, as if the purpose of her birth is to serve your purpose. For her, desiring your wife means you want no other woman on earth. Desiring your wife means you would pass up a chorus line to be with only her. But being horny means any broad will do you, including a non-human blow up doll. Get the difference? So in reality, your philosophy about women falls apart because you continually make her feel anything but cherished, at least in this manner. And you don't make her feel loved in this manner either because, after all, who loves a blowup doll?
I know you don't intend any of this. It's just the way it all comes across to her. So, lose the philosophies and work on the actions. And this move
is what you need. Rent it. Watch it. Follow the principles. It will teach you to love selflessly and unconditionally, and it will really help you beef up your sex life. The best part is you will learn and understand what those words "love" and "cherish" really mean so that your wife, as beneficiary, begins to actually feel loved and cherished. Once you watch the movie (without her) and get the book
that the movie is all about, then work on applying the principles in the 40-day challenge that the book walks you through. You will notice a very big change in your wife's response to you. Then, have her watch the movie and give her the book to read. It is great for you both to work for each other in such loving ways. If you think the past 17 years have been wonderful, you haven't seen nothing yet.