My husband is only interested in one sexual position.
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 07-15-2010, 06:43 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Question My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

Doggy Style He has always been like this but after 6 years of marriage I am so bored. We have talked about it and he has performed MAYBE 5 times in other positions. But he is still asking to do it doggy style. He is always grabbing my back side either around the house or if I'm on top. Is there something wrong with him.

For example, I initiated the sex today and he couldnt perform (get off). He said that he "took care" of it himself this morning. It just seems like we can't ever have "normal" sex. I'm scared that it will be like this for the rest of my life.

I guess the big question is ARE WE NORMAL? I'm too embarrassed to talk about this with my girlfriends. Please help! Thanks!
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Old 07-15-2010, 06:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

Nothing wrong with him, but he should mix it up now and then, it is my favorite way to finish, but 5 times in 6 years in other positions ia a bit extreme!!!
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Old 07-15-2010, 08:40 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Have you tried talking it over with him? Maybe explain that he can still have his fetish sex as long you get what you need as well. Me and my wife had kinda the same problem where i wanted an specific act alot, now i know if she is not getting what she want i damn sho not... So discuss it with him you may see another point of view you could not come up with on your own.
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

Yes, I have talked to him. Its really hard because he does want to please me but I feel that he's not getting what he wants out of it. We will have sex and he won't get off because we aren't doing it doggy style. I dont know what to do.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:00 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

part of my attraction to doggie style is the visual part, being able to see my wife's body more than from the missionary position. Can you try him standing next to the bed and you on your back so he has something visual?

If that isn't it, can you try missionary with your legs closed to give him a tighter fit?
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:12 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

Mmmm.

Good discussion actually.

I enjoy all positions but I will admit doggie style is the easiest for me to finish as I get older. It feels more "fleshy" or something and I suppose I can let my mind drift a bit and fantasize when doggie style.

I think the solution may actually be simple: what's your favorite position? You said "normal"? Is missionary your favorite? (if that's normal)

Maybe you could start where you want and end doggie style?
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:24 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

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Originally Posted by Scannerguard View Post
Mmmm.


Maybe you could start where you want and end doggie style?
That is what I would try. Ask him to please you and then let him get off his way. You both are happy.

I will admit doggy is not as personal and intamite but it does feel better to me also. It makes things a little tighter.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:55 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

Hmm, could it be your hubbie may be "taking care" of himself too much? If he's doing that too often, he may be becoming a bit desensitized.

I'm personally okay with doggie, but it's not my favorite. If you have a tall enough bed try laying down at the edge of the bed (on your back) and have him stand at the edge of the bed. I know for me, THAT is my favorite position. It allows us to look eye to eye and it also lets me hit my wifes G-spot more effectively. For me, looking down and seeing myself go in and out is a HUGE turn on.
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Old 07-16-2010, 02:19 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

Doggie is my favorite position. My husbands is reverse cowgirl. I can get off in both positions, but its easier when I'm bent over for him

We would split them up, start out with me on top...and then he would end by bending me over. We both liked it like this. Try it
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Old 07-16-2010, 02:47 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

It sounds like your husband isn't as adventerous as the forum with positions. Not sure how you put that into him other than to just tell him you want to be adventurous. If he's "hooked" on doggie style. . .perhaps just starting some variations, "weening" him off that position exclusively.

I am not sure exactly what you mean by doggie style as there are variations perhaps you would like - spooning. . .one position I don't see talked about much here which is my favorite is from behind straddling the woman's legs which are together. You can touch your partner more that way (and control her more).

I like that better than being on my knees erect and the woman on all 4's (that's doggie style to me. . .the variation of that is over top the woman and straddling).

Get a book on sexual positions and go through them.

My partner's favorite position was scissors. . .I'll admit that seemed a bit weird to me but I hear women like that because of g-spot stimulation. Took some getting used to, with occasional "losing it" but I finally worked into it.

Sex is a labor of love
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Old 07-16-2010, 02:52 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

I want to know what this scissors position is. Its a shame I'm stuck at work and cant look it up right now....
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Old 07-16-2010, 03:03 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

LOL. . .I am not sure if that's the name for it. . .um. . .let's see. . .how do I describe it without pictures, lol. . .

woman on back. . .legs spread. . .man to her right, kinda @ a right angle. . .he brings right leg over her left, like all the way across. . .insert Tab A into Slot B. . .the other leg is like under both. . .I don't know. . .put 2 scissors together and you get the idea.

I feel like I am writing an engine schematic here, lol.
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Old 07-16-2010, 03:06 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

Thanks for all the quick responses.

The problem that I actually have is that he has no problem satisfying me first ( and trust me he can last forever) but that I think its mundane having him finish EVERYTIME doggy style (yes, me on all fours and him behind). It makes sex, at least for me, so predictable. It just doesn't seem very emotional or loving that way. He is staring at my back side while reaching orgasm. I dont feel any connection that way.

I have talked to him about it. Its gotten to the point now where he feels that he can't do anything right. He also thinks I'm putting too much pressure on him. He explains to me that thats the only way that feels good enough for him to reach orgasm. He also lost his virginity that way.

For example, yesterday we had sex and he couldn't finish while I was on top. He claimed that he had satisfied himself that morning. At least, thats his excuse this time. I mean, we are not old, we are in our mid 30s. I shouldnt have to worry about him not being able to perform already, right? Its not that he doesnt want to have sex with me. Trust me on that one. He just likes doing it the same way everytime.

I guess I dont really have a favorite position. I just want to do it and be satisfied. Simple, right? What's wrong with us? This isn't a deal breaker, is it?
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Old 07-16-2010, 04:30 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

Well, I was going to ask him about "doing it himself" and you already prooffered that.

If he's doing that, he will need to fast from doing that and he'll find he's able to finish with you on top a lot easier.

You know. . .try to think about that the masturbating thing from a guy's perspective.

We are taught, very young, that the sign of sexual prowess is being able to have sex for long periods of time, which trust me, 15 minutes of constant thrusting is not only a good work-out, it' can be hard to not cum.

So masturbation can calm it down a bit. . .if done in moderation, the operative word.

You do it too much and then you lose sensitivity and you have to work at cumming.

Again, it goes back to how we are socialized. . .that we are all supposed to perform like James Bond and a 90 second - 5 minute intercourse just isn't good enough for a woman. They want it for hours and if you prematurely cum. . .well, you are just a teenager.

Well, you are telling us different. . .no. . .a little (over)excitement is exciting to you.

Finally:

Quote:
I guess I dont really have a favorite position. I just want to do it and be satisfied. Simple, right? What's wrong with us? This isn't a deal breaker, is it?
NO! It's not a deal breaker but your statement is telling and well, one that's typically female:

GUY: I hear you complaining. What do you want?
GAL: I don't know!

It's a typical conversation in millions of households everyday between spouses.

Well, what do you mean you don't know? Your husband is supposed to guess your sexual needs and be penalized if he doesn't guess right?

It's so very simple - you tell him in a phone call. . ."I want to ride your you-know-what on Saturday. . .don't do anything before then because I am going to ride it like a wild, screaming banshee and I don't care if you cum in 90 seconds."

Woo-hoo! Sounds like fun to me.

I'm just going to tell you - as a guy I hate guessing. Cause we are always wrong.
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Old 07-16-2010, 04:45 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband is only interested in one sexual position.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scannerguard View Post
I'm just going to tell you - as a guy I hate guessing. Cause we are always wrong.


We had too many fights where she felt rejected or hurt because I did something she didn't like when she gave me the "I don't know" answer. A few years ago I had gotten so tired of it we had a talk about the whole I don't know thing. After we had that talk a few days later we went out to dinner and I asked where she wanted to go. She told me "I don't know, anywhere I guess". My wife cannot STAND seafood. I drove us to a seafood restaurant and I refused to go anywhere else. That was the LAST time she ever game me the "I don't know" answer.

And yes ladies, I expect the same from her if I were to do that as well.
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