you did it for other men, but not me? - Page 10 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #136 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:37 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by Vega View Post
Because "Because I don't want to" SHOULD be a 'good enough' reason NOT to.
But that's only half the story. Why she wanted to with other men, but not her husband?

I can certainly understand his frustration. If you can't understand it, then it's a clear example of the difference between the thinking of many men vs. women.

If my wife fulfilled some other man's every fantasy in the past, yet wouldn't do it for me, then I would tell her to go back to him, because she obviously loved him more than me.

I know anyone has the right to say "no". But the OP has the right to respond with "goodbye".
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post #137 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:38 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by treyvion View Post
Women have ego's too. Why is it a mans job to stroke a womans ego?
Show me where *I* ever said it was.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #138 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:38 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Why is it a woman's obligation to pet and stroke a man's ego? I mean, honestly.

I understand retro-active jealousy. But "give me what you gave him" is just ridiculous. You are entitled to your feelings, but you are not entitled to any part of your wife's body or sexuality.
I don't take this posters request as a "give me what you gave him."
I think your sexual preferences are what they are. They probably don't get narrower over time (unless there are issues) they should expand over time.

It cannot be equated with as one person mentioned, "I used to like to skate, but now I have no interest."

I don't believe we should have to stroke their egos either. I am dealing with that in my own marriage when it comes to his sexual insecurities.
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post #139 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:39 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

I would like to clarify.

all my responses are about normal(or what I would call normal) sex act

threesomes,public sex, are not what I call normal. threesome ruin many relationships and public sex and ruin your career.

I'm thinking more like oral,anal,frequency.

with that said I also believe you shouldn't even broach the subject about previous sex partners. (unless you were a sex worker of some kind then I think its the sex workers duty to inform all partners
for safety concerns.

each and every relationship needs to grow and weed through whats acceptable to them as a couple. But in this case the pu$$y was out of the bag so to speak. and should be dealt with the honesty and love for the good of the present relationship.

as far as forcing someone to do anything sexually that they don't want to do. NO not for me because it just ruins it.

a blow job from someone who hates giving one sucks (no pun intended) but its usually a half a$$ed attempt and neither person is satisfied in the end.
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post #140 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:39 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by Vega View Post
Because "Because I don't want to" SHOULD be a 'good enough' reason NOT to.
Well then I guess that seems to be the consensus answer for the women. I did not think asking for clarification as to why was prohibited, but if it is, so be it. Does not seem like much of a relationship when a man (or woman) can't even ask why or does not even deserve the courtesy of an explanation.

Quote:
But it seems that no matter WHAT her response to him would be, would not be "good enough" for HIM.
I tend to doubt that. The example COGypsy gave about not wanting outdoor sex seemed reasonable enough to me. But admitting that does not provide a blanket defense for not providing an explanation.

If a women (or man) does not want to explain, they should not be forced to. But this situation and how it is dealt with sends a message. And the idea that he (or she) needs to just like it and go merrily on their way with no effect on the relationship is unrealistic.
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post #141 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:39 PM Thread Starter
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
Why is it a woman's obligation to pet and stroke a man's ego? I mean, honestly.

I understand retro-active jealousy. But "give me what you gave him" is just ridiculous. You are entitled to your feelings, but you are not entitled to any part of your wife's body or sexuality.
My question to you is why would I have to use entitlement to get my request met.
As far as stroking a mans ego goes, how is the male ego less important to one of your 1000 emotions as a woman?
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post #142 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:40 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

Thesus said: "I know anyone has the right to say "no". But the OP has the right to respond with "goodbye"."

That's true, he has the right to say "goodbye". But is he going to? No? He just wants to sulk and torture his wife? He has no right to do THAT. He CAN leave, however.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #143 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:40 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

noguts said: "As far as stroking a mans ego goes, how is the male ego less important to one of your 1000 emotions as a woman?"

Again, please show me where I ever said it was?

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #144 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:43 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

noguts said: "My question to you is why would I have to use entitlement to get my request met."

As I said, you have no entitlement to her body. So what do you even mean by this?

All you are really saying is that your ego is hurt.

I'm sorry that it is.

But that's all that has happened here.

If you want to let this ruin your marriage, that's on you.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #145 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:44 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

It's just about sex, but some people are too stupid to see that.

Romance
Sex
Emotional intimacy

^ 3 very important pillars in marriage. If my husband was more romantic, sexual, or emotionally intimate with his ex's then I would not like it. I would not settle for leftovers.

Stop wasting my life living in unnecessary situations that make me unhappy.
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post #146 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:44 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by FrenchFry View Post
You are demanding logic for an individualized, emotional question.

What answer from your wife would satisfy you?
I think the truth would be an appropriate answer. Might not be a SATISFYING answer, but it's a good starting point to figure out if the relationship is worth a damn.

I don't think she's under any obligation to put out for the guy. I do think lying and following up with no response at all is a bad idea.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #147 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:45 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

fw, dose compliment from your lover stroke your ego?

dose my a$$ look fat in these jeans. is a question to stroke their ego.

do you like when your lover notices your new hair cut.

every compliment is an ego stroke and in my opinion it both the wifes and husbands JOB to keep their spouces ego stroked!
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post #148 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:46 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

Wow lot of pages real fast might be one of the fastest growing threads I've ever seen on here.
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post #149 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:47 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

chilly....Care-taking his feelings is NOT part of my job.

Differentiation anyone?

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #150 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 04:47 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

Is this forum always so combative? I'm wondering if I am doomed to my current situation, and if I'm not, I'm seeking suggestions on what I can do to get out of it.
Does everything end up as an argument here?
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