you did it for other men, but not me? - Page 186 - Talk About Marriage
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post #2776 of 2776 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 01:35 PM
Holdingontoit's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: In the woods
Posts: 1,350
Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

@Finwe: I think your wife is being honest that she enjoys being married to you and that you ar eher #1 choice for a husband. I also think it is true that you don't do it for her sexually. She is OK with that, because sex is not important to her. That is why she was willing to marry a man who doesn't do it for her sexually. And if that is OK for you, great. I am in the same position. Wife likes lots of things about me but not having sex with me. We have great kids and a decent life so I am not leaving. But I long ago gave up on improving the sex because the only way it is going to get better for either of us is if we divorce and find different partners.

i don't wish that outcome on you, but I think it is a definite possibility. Even a guy who is decent looking, fit, etc won't turn on every woman. You might think that a woman would choose to marry a guy she does find attractive and who does turn her on sexually. However, many women choose to prioritize other things and accept less in the sex department to get a guy who meets lots of other needs. Not so much fun to be that guy. But if you don't realize it until years later when you have kids together and your lives are heavily entangled, then separating involves a very high price. Not all of us are willing to pay it.

I hope you resolve your issue to both of your mutual satisfaction, and that you do it together. But I never bet on that outcome when a mismatch is entrenched. And I bet against it when the HD is not willing to divorce over the issue.

When you can see it coming, duck!
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