you did it for other men, but not me? - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #61 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:17 PM Thread Starter
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by 1812overture View Post
I know next to nothing about my wife's sexual past, and only slightly more about her romantic past. I've never asked and I don't want to know -- for this reason. Now that I think about it, I knew about previous girlfriend's pasts, so perhaps I saw the possible future early on.
Our lives are different from when we were dating, and I'm sure they will be different again in the future. But if I knew what the OP knows, I think it would bother me, and I'm a bit surprised women are upset even at the question.
"Love of my life, I have always wanted to try anal. I know you have done it in the past and enjoyed it. We don't have to make it a recurring thing, but I'd really like to experience it. Will you please do it with me?"
Is it unreasonable to ask for an explanation if the answer is "No"?
kinda depends on the package being delivered.

no way man, ask, and ask and ask.

I got a few things I do for her, I hate doing. Guess what.
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post #62 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:18 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

Hey bro. I think it's kind of messed up that she lied first off, hopefully she is remorseful about that, secondly, if she liked certain things before you and they don't bother her now, of course she should do them with you!

There isn't even any question she should do things that she doesn't have anything against.
Did she say the only reason was she didn't want to do them with you was because it would be with you?

I would be pissed at being lied to and might be hurt that she wouldn't do things she says she enjoys but not with me, except the 3some thing.
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post #63 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:18 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by nogutsnoglory View Post
Meaning the sexual acts you performed with other men and or woman is a part of the past and not something you want to do with your husband.
There is nothing I have done with/for a past partner that I am not willing to do with/for my husband. Unfortunately, he is the unwilling one.

I think what I hear the OP being most hurt about is that "she did it, enjoyed it, and lied about it."

I also do not understand this logic. It is one thing to tell your partner that you did something, did not like it and refuse to do it again. But that is not the case here. She is withholding and I would want to know why also.
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post #64 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:20 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by nogutsnoglory View Post
kinda depends on the package being delivered.
That's probably the one excuse that most men would find acceptable. If the ex was small and she enjoyed it, but the husband is huge and she's afraid of it.
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post #65 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:23 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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That's probably the one excuse that most men would find acceptable. If the ex was small and she enjoyed it, but the husband is huge and she's afraid of it.
or total pkg he had game and the husband doesn't!


ouch!
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post #66 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Imagine if you were willing to have bareback unprotected sex with your ex but never would with your husband. How should a husband feel about that?
Doing something stupid is not what I am asking her to do.
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post #67 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:29 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

I think a lot of women will do things to snag a man that they don't really like.

oral, anal, frequent sex in general.

and as the relationship progresses they slowly #hit test you and if you let it slide they feel all right can scratch that off the list and then anytime you ask for it they play.........do i have too? I really don't like it and you take so long....bla,bla,bla.

if you let this slide you lost your chance to get it back.
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post #68 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:29 PM Thread Starter
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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which brings me to ask.

How in the hell did you find out about this?

What caused her to confess?
We had a few ****tails with her best girlfriend who she will tell anything to, and she slipped up. So I eventually got the full confession. Maybe
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post #69 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:29 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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No she lied about it then, so I thought it was not something she was into. She had enough sex in her past that her lie made me assume I should not be pressing her for things she appears to not be interested in doing, this all changed now that I know what she did, how much, and that she enjoyed it.
My point is that if having sex with her and another woman where high on your priority list than you would have found a woman that met that need.

You did not do that. You accepted her for what she said and let you think she is (the fact that she felt different in the past is irrelevant)

Now even though I can understand the reason for being jealous it is still just jealousy. And you are trying to make it into a test of her loyalty and commitment to you.
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post #70 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by chillymorn View Post
I think a lot of women will do things to snag a man that they don't really like.

oral, anal, frequent sex in general.

and as the relationship progresses they slowly #hit test you and if you let it slide they feel all right can scratch that off the list and then anytime you ask for it they play.........do i have too? I really don't like it and you take so long....bla,bla,bla.

if you let this slide you lost your chance to get it back.
No worries there. I will not just let it go until I get a good reason to.
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post #71 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by ConanHub View Post
Hey bro. I think it's kind of messed up that she lied first off, hopefully she is remorseful about that, secondly, if she liked certain things before you and they don't bother her now, of course she should do them with you!

There isn't even any question she should do things that she doesn't have anything against.
Did she say the only reason was she didn't want to do them with you was because it would be with you?

I would be pissed at being lied to and might be hurt that she wouldn't do things she says she enjoys but not with me, except the 3some thing.
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pretty much sums it up
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post #72 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:32 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by usmarriedguy View Post
My point is that if having sex with her and another woman where high on your priority list than you would have found a woman that met that need.

You did not do that. You accepted her for what she said and let you think she is (the fact that she felt different in the past is irrelevant)

Now even though I can understand the reason for being jealous it is still just jealousy. And you are trying to make it into a test of her loyalty and commitment to you.
are you a woman?

hmmm sound like one.

no I think she lied through her teeth and is a selfish lover and hes just now realising he was sold a false bill of sale!

and hes kinda pi$$ed about it.

seems fair enough to me.
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post #73 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:34 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by chillymorn View Post
I think a lot of women will do things to snag a man that they don't really like.

oral, anal, frequent sex in general.

and as the relationship progresses they slowly #hit test you and if you let it slide they feel all right can scratch that off the list and then anytime you ask for it they play.........do i have too? I really don't like it and you take so long....bla,bla,bla.

if you let this slide you lost your chance to get it back.
I think you are right. And this is so wrong!

I think my husband did that to me. Stopped wanting it.
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post #74 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

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Originally Posted by usmarriedguy View Post
My point is that if having sex with her and another woman where high on your priority list than you would have found a woman that met that need.

You did not do that. You accepted her for what she said and let you think she is (the fact that she felt different in the past is irrelevant)

Now even though I can understand the reason for being jealous it is still just jealousy. And you are trying to make it into a test of her loyalty and commitment to you.
That was not the only thing I found out about, anal, bondage, yep
Jealousy is healthy, normal and allowed, I will not just pretend to not be bothered because it is taboo to admit having jealousy
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post #75 of 2776 (permalink) Old 12-18-2013, 01:35 PM
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Re: you did it for other men, but not me?

are you a woman?

hmmm sound like one.

No but I am not a dumb a$$ either.
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