So I am a bit curious as to the logic and understanding of men and woman.
I have read (and experienced) what it feel like to be told that "that was then and this is now"
Meaning the sexual acts you performed with other men and or woman is a part of the past and not something you want to do with your husband.
Obviously anal is a popular one, but there are many others.
Woman, do you have basic knowledge of a male ego?
Do you realize what a shot to a males ego this is?
I am not talking about you tried something once in college and it hurt so you won't do it again.
I am talking about you actively did some things with other men and woman in your wilder days and your H wants some of that from you and you deny him this. Especially stuff you admit you enjoyed back then.
How would you feel as her "husband" that these things weren't done during her "wilder" years at all. That she felt something for him and wanted to impress this man and did these sexual acts or actions and treatments on this other man, that she won't do for you, because she doesn't think she has to or she doesn't feel that way. How the hell is that supposed to feel?
Does it matter to you that it makes him feel like he is not the sexual creature your past lover was and this is why you will not indulge him. After all it is just a sexual act with your H, so why the stance to withhold, knowing it will hurt him and possibly hurt the marriage in the long run. Do you not realixe you gave this gift to a guy that did not love you and now you would be making the man that chose to be with you for life very happy and feel very appreciated if he knew that he had gotten all the sexual gifts you have given others and more.
Well she may have done it because it was fun and exciting at the time! Does this make a "husband" feel anybetter?
My W actually withheld that she had done things ( I asked her prior to marriage and she lied to me) I have, since learning of this, gone from initially very disappointed in realizing I had married a party girl (knew she had some fun, but not that much fun), and now I am feeling like, I am married to her and love her and for my own ego to resolve these things, I want the same thing.
If I had learned prior to marriage, I would have chosen this path then, but I thought I had married someone with similar background and moral structure, but again, I was deceived.
Men were being decieved before even Jesus Christ walked the earth. I'm not sure whether it matters what she did or didn't do before she got with you, but if you know for a fact that these acts which she did freely and enjoyed before you, she can physically do them. So why cheat the husband? Some women marry a husband as a permenant crutch and he isn't even her top choice. She just finds a loyal and loving man and ensnares him.
I have since gotten past the moral side of this stuff (as best I can) and want to see and feel, experience this stuff with my wife. After all, there is a guy out there walking around that knows her wild side better than I do, and I would like to have some mind movies of my wife in my head with me as the man, versus the mind movies of what she did with other men. Male ego at work. Do not fault me for having one.
Does any of this make sense to anyone?
I was allowed to have her past matter to me for any reason I saw fit and she lied to me, so how I feel now and what I want, is her consequence for lying to me. IMO.
I will not divorce her for this, so don't go there. I love her and who she is today, but my ego has been slammed to the ground and I want to do something about it.
It is not like having some crazy sex with her H will change who she is, just make her more fun for me really. So what is the big deal? Can't you see that if you gave a sexual gift to one man in your past that your H might want to have that gift given to him.. I just do not see the logic of woman that do not get this.
Just because she did it for him, she doesn't have to do it for you. Thats the logic.
Some of these women also do not shut off the life they were doing before the husband. The husband is provided a bare minimum to stay and they do these exciting things with others.
Just great for your erections, huh?