Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
View Poll Results: How often do you have sex in your marriage?
I'm probably not doing this "poll" thing the right way so I want to ask a question. This section talks a lot about sexless relationships, but obviously different people have different ideas of what's enough (as every couple will).
How often do you have sex in your marriage?
-once a day
-a few days a week
-once a week
-once a month
-once a year
For us , it is a catch between a few times a week to once a day. And we are in our mid 40's. But used to be a steady once a week for 20 yrs of our marraige. So much better now. We've learned about about communicating our needs and spicing to come to this place.
Ours is most days, averages 4 to 6 times a week. That's changed recently, we had a few years after the kids arrived where it was maybe once or twice a week.
We're most likely to skip a week day, but will often make up for that with am and pm sessions on weekend days.
Does a blow job count as sex? Interested in others replies, I would say yes my H would be a bit of a Bill and say no!
Does a blow job count as sex? Interested in others replies, I would say yes my H would be a bit of a Bill and say no!
I accually keep a sex calendar, am interested in seeing how long this passion can last , with us being older. I count any session WITH AN ORGASM as "sex"- including Bj's. I always make sure he gets treated to at least 1 while I am on my monthly - I want to feel his release. All other times, I want mine too & we prefer to "go together". So Bj's are mostly forplay for us.
Many times, I give him more attention than he needs - BJ activity just for pleasure, but not ending in a release.
We don't count those times at all, or I would he saying we had "sex" 12 times a week or so.
We count by the "orgasms". I ALWAYS get mine. Since I basically wear him out, there are times where he doesn't get his (maybe once a month)-but chooses to wait till the next day -for heightened desire.
I've been thinking about recounting my story for others who are in a similar situation so that they may have some hope that a sexless marriage can change.
But thinking back on it, while I may have done some things to help turn it around, ultimately it was his decision to let go of the hurt and resentment. I may have helped that along with some of my actions but, really, I have no magic bullet.
I'm still in wait and see mode. Once you've been shut out in the sex and intimacy dept. for so long, it's hard not to be skeptical that things have changed for good. I'm giving it a year before I declare our marriage back on track. And every three months I plan on stepping back and making sure my actions don't contribute to a backslide - it's really easy to fall back into the same selfish, hurtful pattern.
I've been thinking about recounting my story for others who are in a similar situation so that they may have some hope that a sexless marriage can change.
But thinking back on it, while I may have done some things to help turn it around, ultimately it was his decision to let go of the hurt and resentment. I may have helped that along with some of my actions but, really, I have no magic bullet.
I'm still in wait and see mode. Once you've been shut out in the sex and intimacy dept. for so long, it's hard not to be skeptical that things have changed for good. I'm giving it a year before I declare our marriage back on track. And every three months I plan on stepping back and making sure my actions don't contribute to a backslide - it's really easy to fall back into the same selfish, hurtful pattern.
So far so good :-)
i understand, my wife and i hit a hot streak for a couple of months about a year and a half ago. she was horny and aggressive. i tried to think of what was different in our relationship or what i may be doing to increase her sex drive. ultimately i couldnt figure it out and it didnt last, we soon fell back into the norm.
2Likes
How often do you have sex in your marriage? 
