If he has the capacity to understand that you should meet his "manly needs" then he has the capacity to understand that he has a duty to meet your "womanly needs".
I would recommend setting some boundaries around yourself. You can not control him--never have, never will. But you can control YOU! So determine some things for yourself:
1) I will only accept a loving, consenting, mutually pleasing sex partner in my life.
2) I will only accept a sober sex partner (or one or two drinks mutually to "loosen up)--but no drunken sex partners
3) I am willing to explore anal sex with a gentle, loving, kind sex partner who would be concerned about my enjoying it and pleasure as well as his own.
You see, these are rules you make about YOU for YOU. He doesn't have to be a loving, consenting, mutually-pleasing sex partner. He's completely free to continue to choose to be greedy, forceful, and selfish...but YOU will not be with a partner who treats you that way. You respect yourself too much to be treated that way.