facesitting fetish is ruining us - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

User Tag List

  • 1 Post By Chris Taylor
  • 1 Post By Aristotle
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-20-2010, 07:02 AM Thread Starter
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3
facesitting fetish is ruining us

Ive been married to a beautiful girl for the past 3 years (just over) and I love her very much. However we have almost split up a few times because of a fetish I have fantasised over since I was about 3 years of age (I am now 40). When I was little I used to watch wrestling on the tv and was turned on (obviously not in the sense you get turned on as an adult) seeing the position of face-sitting. As I grew in my early years I would try wrestling and playing with girls of my age in school and hoping this would happen. At the age of 6 I recall two girls doing this to me and I loved it.
I didnt have a girlfriend through school (may have been to do with the fact I was chubby and ginger which I was bullied for on several occasions and so put on a brave face and did impressions of myself and joked about myself which stopped the bullying and made me more friends).
In my 'high school' years I often fantasised about the many sexy girls in my classes, that they would wrestle me and sit on my face in their skirts and stockings...it never happened. But, when I was 20 I met a girl at college who made my wish come true and I couldnt believe it (by then I had lost much weight due to being diabetic). The relationship never saw much more than a few weeks but within a year I saw and got engaged to another girl who relived my fantasy over and over, dressing up to do it, etc. I was in heaven. When we broke up 5 years later I met another girl whon was very sexy but it was lust more than anything so didnt last. However in that 2 year on-off relationship she sat on my face at least 3-4 times a day! It turned her on too! I couldnt believe it.
Finally in 2000 I went out with the girl I now call my wife. I love her dearly but feel that my need for facesitting has started breaking us up. Several years ago, just a year after we were married I started teaching in 6th form as a performing arts lecturer and got close to another female student with whom i worked close on auditiion pieces. She was pretty, 17 and gave me lots of attention so as a stupid reaction I gave her my mobile number and would sometimes text her chatting about sexy talk! My wife found the texts and went mad. She was so hurt and I felt so stupid and ashamed. Fortunately she took me back and things seemed much better but recently she went to visit friends in Scotland for four days. Whilst she was away I became bored and went on facebook where i 'chatted' online to a female student I used to teach and opened the conversation with 'well sit on my face and tell me you love me!' which I meant in a jokey way as she is a very nice looking girl (but I never intended meeting her or having her sit on me for real!). When my wife came back she saw the message and went mad threatening that our marriage was over.
I am paying for my stupid actions by having to sleep in separate rooms. We talk through text at the moment. I tell her I love her and swear nothing went on and that I meant the messages as a joke which I honestly did but, quite rightly, my wife can't trust me right now.
I wish I didnt have this fetish but its something Ive had and enjoyed since a young age. My wife does it for me but, selfishly, she has to do it to make me orgasm when we have sex as I find it hard to get turned on any other way. I dont what I should do. I have undertaken two things she has asked for this week which is seek counselling over my fetish and also ask to be circucised by my doctor so that, if we should get back, then maybe I will feel more sensitivity and we can try more things out.
Can anyone offer any suggestions as to what I should do? Is it just time that may heal what we have right now? I feel so stupid. I love her to pieces but can see how she feels totally
jonluc is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-20-2010, 07:39 AM
Chris Taylor's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,558
Re: facesitting fetish is ruining us

I think seeing a professional about this is the best answer. She wanted it and you're doing it.

By for god's sake, lay off the messages to students (current for former). Keep your fetish in your own bedroom.
Chris Taylor is offline  
post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-20-2010, 07:45 AM
greeneyeddolphin's Avatar
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,484
Re: facesitting fetish is ruining us

It sounds like you're doing what you can and what needs to be done. I agree with Chris, to stop contacting students. Even if they contact you first. If it's anything less than a professional conversation, ignore it.
greeneyeddolphin is offline  
post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-20-2010, 09:34 AM
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,722
Re: facesitting fetish is ruining us


YOu are playing with fire texting a 17 year old female. Glad you stopped that.

This may be one instance a sex therapist really may be helpful. You have failed to learn how to have normal sexual relations with another woman, as if there is nothing erotic at all about missionary sex or doggy style or her straddling you when there is.

I am going to take a wild stab here but you are probably inexperienced sexually, right? I can't see pre-marriage that you were hopping around woman to woman, finding many who were content to sit on your face, right?

( I don't know - just a guess - of course, truth is stranger than fiction )

There are two kinds of sexual experience - breadth and depth. When you are married, you of course can't have different partners so a breadth of experience is out. However, at that point, it is up to you to develop a depth of experience with that woman - emotionally and physically. You are missing out on a whole world of sex by just thinking this is the only way you can get off. I mean, we all have our favorites but you have to tame this OCD on this.
Scannerguard is offline  
post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-03-2012, 10:24 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1
Unhappy Re: facesitting fetish is ruining us

I've had this same fetish since age 9-10 about older girls then and 18-30 something girls now. I see one almost daily that I want to do this to me. Its so frustrating to see someone you want it from so badly and don't know how to or can't make it happen.
Juliodpg19 is offline  
post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-03-2012, 11:07 AM
VermisciousKnid's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 1,984
Re: facesitting fetish is ruining us

Originally Posted by jonluc View Post
Whilst she was away I became bored and went on facebook where i 'chatted' online to a female student I used to teach and opened the conversation with 'well sit on my face and tell me you love me!' which I meant in a jokey way as she is a very nice looking girl (but I never intended meeting her or having her sit on me for real!).
I agree with the advice given so far and I'd like to add that quoting Monty Python songs will always get you in trouble!
VermisciousKnid is offline  
post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-03-2012, 05:04 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 395
Re: facesitting fetish is ruining us

Stop messaging students, you sound like a serial cheater. You say your "face sitting" comment was a joke, but that is an absolute lie. That is your huge fetish and your comment was a fishing expedition to see if your former student would bite or how she would react. All cheaters do this, it's those "jokes" that the other person takes seriously/bites that lead to that "joke" being a reality. If your wife is smart then she doesn't believe all of your silly lies and if you tried being truthful, she may actually talk to you again. If you think she will ever believe that you making a facesitting comment, your fetish, was just a joke, you are more foolish than your bad habits imply.

Keep the facesitting in your own bedroom, creepy.
Stop talking to 17 year old students, super creepy.
Stop lying to your wife, creep.

Last edited by Aristotle; 06-03-2012 at 06:20 PM.
Aristotle is offline  
post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-03-2012, 08:11 PM
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 430
Re: facesitting fetish is ruining us

This post is from 2010.

Just saying.
daffodilly is offline  
Sponsored Links
Closed Thread

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How should I bring up facesitting? theduck Sex in Marriage 29 04-11-2013 09:39 AM
facesitting fetish is ruining us jonluc Coping with Infidelity 4 10-11-2010 01:07 PM
facesitting fetish is ruining us jonluc Sex in Marriage 0 08-20-2010 07:01 AM
Any way to get rid of a FETISH? tickle_jockey General Relationship Discussion 7 07-15-2009 09:41 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome