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-   -   Does your girl ever come before you do? (http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/16571-does-your-girl-ever-come-before-you-do.html)

Sara Ann 09-10-2010 10:02 AM

Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
Guys, esp those in their 50's, I'm wondering how much foreplay you have with your wife, how long you keep an erection, and whether she ever has an orgasm before you do?

In our marriage, we got in the habit of him having an orgasm first, and then he will use his wonderful fingers on me (or I do myself), but by then he is already half asleep and it is not exciting for me. I get turned on very fast and have not needed any foreplay, so he never does more than a few seconds of foreplay on me (or none), but I am curious what it would be like and what I may be missing. My husband is in his early 50's, I'm a few years younger, and we are both in great health and physically active.

greenpearl 09-10-2010 10:20 AM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
Can I give you my answer? I am not a man. I always come before my husband. I get on top of him, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, then I come. Then it's my husband's turn to come. After I come, the feeling is even more sensitive when he is inside of me working!
I am in my late 30's.

Chris Taylor 09-10-2010 12:07 PM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
We have foreplay usually for 30-45 minutes. I maintain my erection the entire time.

My wife prefers that I have an orgasm first because she gets very sensitive once she does and it makes it hard for her to let me have intercourse after that. So we have foreplay, intercourse and then I get her off using oral, toys, hand, whatever.

I will admit that during that refractory stage I could easily fall asleep too but hang in there until my wife is satisfied.

Sara Ann 09-10-2010 01:03 PM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
Wow, greenpearl, good for you! It takes me at least 5 min, usually around 10 with direct stimulation, so I have never been able to come by wiggling on top of him. Are you having intercourse while you are wiggling?

Chris, do you ever feel too tired to just hang in there? I think a man must get resentful of having to spend the time, esp. those times when it can take really long (like 20 min or more). Also does foreplay include anything other than genital touching, and do you spend so much time because you like to, or because you know that your wife likes it?

If the women are masturbating after their husband has an orgasm, does he watch, hold you, try to participate, or fall asleep? I'm just wondering what I should expect, as I am not really happy with this department.

Sadara 09-10-2010 01:13 PM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
Foreplay is involved with us, I need it to get in the mood. Some times he's first, some times I'm first. It just depends. But, I am lucky enough that my husband can keep it going if he comes first and I can do what greenpearl said, get on top and wiggle wiggle wiggle.

unbelievable 09-10-2010 02:26 PM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
Sara Ann,

Every once in a while it takes my wife quite a while. I certainly don't get resentful! It's what I like doing most, so why would I be anxious for it to end? As long as she comes in time to prevent my fatal heart attack, I'm good with it. Even if she doesn't, what better way to leave this world?

HopeinHouston 09-10-2010 03:29 PM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
We are in our middle 30s here. I do sometimes have a problem keeping a really rigid erection but it almost never causes problem in sex, or if so only momentary. It is never a deal killer.

As far as cumming though, my wife usually comes 2-3 times before I do. She sometimes (half teasingly) jokes that I take too long. I'm sure more women wish their men had stamina like that, but it is what it is.

greeneyeddolphin 09-10-2010 05:26 PM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
Well, I'm a woman and we're both in our early 30s (I'm 31, he'll be 33 in about a week and a half), but for us, I always come first, and usually multiple times. He's very unselfish and giving, and always makes sure I do first. I don't have to do anything for myself, he's always willing to do what it takes. We do lots of oral, lots of foreplay, lots of uh... "other" play, and alternate all of it with penetration.

greenpearl 09-10-2010 06:16 PM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
Wow, greenpearl, good for you! It takes me at least 5 min, usually around 10 with direct stimulation, so I have never been able to come by wiggling on top of him. Are you having intercourse while you are wiggling?


Yes, his toy is in my body. :) :) :)
I have a pretty young heart. With my husband, I am very natural. I am 100% true in front of him. I don't feel ashamed. I don't feel embarrassed. Just want to enjoy. My husband likes me this way. It is so easy for him to tell if I am satisfied or not.

You husband loves you. He will sure want you to be satisfied. Sometimes we masturbate in front of each other, watching each other, just for fun. My husband likes to watch me masturbate in front him. I like watching him masturbating in front of me, too. Seeing a big toy in front of me having fun, very interesting.

Atholk 09-10-2010 06:26 PM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
When the male orgasms it causes an Oxytocin release which makes him among other things... sleepy.

Ladies first. :)

Sara Ann 09-10-2010 07:03 PM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
How long do you wiggle? Whenever I take things slow on top, he seems to want to get moving again. So I should just tell him to let me wiggle? I'd like to try that. I wonder if he would lose his erection without thrusting though, esp. if I am just sitting there for a while wiggling.

greenpearl 09-10-2010 07:53 PM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara Ann (Post 183449)
How long do you wiggle? Whenever I take things slow on top, he seems to want to get moving again. So I should just tell him to let me wiggle? I'd like to try that. I wonder if he would lose his erection without thrusting though, esp. if I am just sitting there for a while wiggling.

If I am very horny, one minute. Sometimes five. If he becomes soft, I go up and down, or in and out, tease him, make him hard again.
I think of horny pictures too. That helps me come.

Sara Ann 09-10-2010 08:08 PM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
Wow, that is fast. I think it would take me at least 5 minutes. I don't fantasize anymore. I focus on the sensations in my body.

A long time ago we had some simultaneous orgasms, as I masturbated during intercourse, but I don't like them, because I want his attention on me during my climax because that makes it more exciting for me, and likewise I want to be focused on him during his climax as that excites me, and when we do it at the same time we are each in our own world and not enjoying the other, so we miss out on half the fun.

greenpearl 09-10-2010 10:48 PM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara Ann (Post 183465)
Wow, that is fast. I think it would take me at least 5 minutes. I don't fantasize anymore. I focus on the sensations in my body.

A long time ago we had some simultaneous orgasms, as I masturbated during intercourse, but I don't like them, because I want his attention on me during my climax because that makes it more exciting for me, and likewise I want to be focused on him during his climax as that excites me, and when we do it at the same time we are each in our own world and not enjoying the other, so we miss out on half the fun.

Five minutes are common. Most of the times I need about five times. One minute is when I haven't had sex for quite a few days. I have never come together with my husband. I don't know if it is easy for a man to make his woman come. At least he has to work very hard. My husband can't make me come if I am not doing anything. I have to be very active. Sometimes I read porn stories and that can make me very horny. I can come very fast. My husband likes to eat me. During the same time, I read porn stories. I can have very strong orgasms this way. We don't do it too often, but it is really a great fun. The orgasms are much stronger. Because after I come, my husband continues licking me. The sensation is really great. I don't know if you husband likes to lick you. If he does, you can try that. I strongly recommend this.

Sara Ann 09-11-2010 12:22 AM

Re: Does your girl ever come before you do?
 
He says he can only lick me when he is really turned on. He used to do it early in our marriage, but now he won't, because he says he must be really turned on. That makes me feel bad, ie he is not "really turned on" by me anymore. Although I am almost 50, I have a body that looks like J. Anniston or D. Moore, so I know I am hot, I am not taking it personal, but I wonder why he won't do it. Maybe it is still about the other issue we are dealing with, and he has to let down the wall between us, ie it is mental with him, maybe a control thing. He did tell me last week he would do, I should just quit asking him. So I am waiting, because I can't even remember what it feels like. I love going down on him all the time. And I have done it to a woman and liked that too, so I think every man should enjoy his wife's entire body. Just my 2 cents.


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