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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 09-13-2010, 10:48 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default 1 Man 2 Women

Not what you think. I was 1 woman, now I am a different woman. Same man. Inspired by Two men One woman

Until recently, I spent over a decade in an addiction that made me self-focused, not caring for my husband, no sex drive at all. Narcotics do that to you. I did not care when he came or went, how he felt. I had no feeling to him. Yes, I was nice and did all my duties as a wife and mother, but no feeling. I got tired of the constant need to chase for more pills to avoid feeling bad, so one day I quit. A few weeks later, the sun rose, I awakened, and I saw my handsome studly husband there. He has been there all along, but I could not see it.

Now, I am totally in love with him! I can't get enough sex with him. I am also now older, more passionate, and my enthusiasm brings out so much newness in him. He does things/places we never have before. To me, he is new in bed everytime, even though we know each other 30 years.

I would get up early so I would not be in bed when he woke up to grab me. Now, I stay in bed until after he gets up, so I can be there just in case he wants his way with me. (Still, some of my friends say they wish their husband would sleep on the sofa so they can avoid sex with him.)

So for those who are wondering why your spouse rejects you, or does not seem interested, I want to say that spouse may have their own issues that have nothing to do with you!
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Old 09-13-2010, 12:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: 1 Man 2 Women

first- congratulations on overcoming your addiction. and a second congratulations to the wind it breathed back into the sails of your love life I think you have found a new much healthier addiction
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Old 09-13-2010, 12:06 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: 1 Man 2 Women

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Originally Posted by Sara Ann View Post
Not what you think. I was 1 woman, now I am a different woman. Same man. Inspired by Two men One woman

Until recently, I spent over a decade in an addiction that made me self-focused, not caring for my husband, no sex drive at all. Narcotics do that to you. I did not care when he came or went, how he felt. I had no feeling to him. Yes, I was nice and did all my duties as a wife and mother, but no feeling. I got tired of the constant need to chase for more pills to avoid feeling bad, so one day I quit. A few weeks later, the sun rose, I awakened, and I saw my handsome studly husband there. He has been there all along, but I could not see it.

Now, I am totally in love with him! I can't get enough sex with him. I am also now older, more passionate, and my enthusiasm brings out so much newness in him. He does things/places we never have before. To me, he is new in bed everytime, even though we know each other 30 years.

I would get up early so I would not be in bed when he woke up to grab me. Now, I stay in bed until after he gets up, so I can be there just in case he wants his way with me. (Still, some of my friends say they wish their husband would sleep on the sofa so they can avoid sex with him.)

So for those who are wondering why your spouse rejects you, or does not seem interested, I want to say that spouse may have their own issues that have nothing to do with you!
Happy for you!!!

Pills are never good. They might cure one thing, but they cause other problems. I don't like pills. I can never finish my pills. My husband has to get water and pills for me and make sure I take them when I AM sick. For emotional problems, my husband doesn't believe in pills. For once I was dealing with my low mood. I asked my husband if I had depression, if I had to go see a doctor, if I had to take medicine to make me feel better. My husband told me that I was silly. So I had to look for other ways to pull myself up. I started reading books about wisdom. The bible, buddhist stories, books written by other wise people, etc. Now I have found peace in my heart. I am not a christian. I am not a buddist. I am not a taoist. But I believe in wisdom.
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Old 09-13-2010, 12:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: 1 Man 2 Women

Part of my healing process during my divorce was realizing the last statement you said was true.

But, to balance that perspective of "it has nothing to do with you", I also have to realize that I also acted in many ways that was unattractive to a woman too. I feel as if I have learned and grown as a result. I feel like I could be a better husband the second time around and one who is more attractive to his wife.

Too bad my stb-x ended up "training" me for another woman . . .but I must admit I was stuck in a rut and it wasnt' until I left her I got the perspective I needed.

How ironic that I had to experience separation and soon, completed divorce, to understand the nuances of a good healthy marriage.
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Old 09-13-2010, 09:05 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Scannerguard View Post
Part of my healing process during my divorce was realizing the last statement you said was true.

But, to balance that perspective of "it has nothing to do with you", I also have to realize that I also acted in many ways that was unattractive to a woman too. I feel as if I have learned and grown as a result. I feel like I could be a better husband the second time around and one who is more attractive to his wife.

Too bad my stb-x ended up "training" me for another woman . . .but I must admit I was stuck in a rut and it wasnt' until I left her I got the perspective I needed.

How ironic that I had to experience separation and soon, completed divorce, to understand the nuances of a good healthy marriage.
It is never too late. Especially for men. Men can always find pretty women no matter how old they are. If you can't find a local one, there is a bunch in other countries. The important part it how to maintain a happy marriage.
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