My husband and I have been together 7 years, married for almost 4. We are 28 and 31, and have both been mostly satisfied with our sex life together, attracted to each other, etc.
However, when we met and got together we were both more relaxed about what attracted us, and about sexuality in general. My husband, for example, enjoyed wearing skirts occasionally and I thought this was attractive.
Since then, not much has come up about his interest in wearing women's clothes - he is more focused on his career and doesn't think it's appropriate to cross-dress. BUT more recently (the last year), he has expressed frustration that he would like to be himself more, and that he thinks it's just not "okay". He routinely complains about his clothes, saying he doesn't like men's clothes. He is of small build and says they don't fit him well.
I am somewhat embarrassed to say that since our early days, I have become more traditional (in some ways), and am not attracted to the cross dressing or any other feminine behaviour he exhibits. He likes to shave his legs and this is a turn-off for me. He has started buying women's underwear and women's razors. This makes me more uncomfortable than I'd like and is killing my attraction and our relationship.
Of course when I bring this up, he gets defensive and feels like I am attacking him. Is it possible for me to change the fact that I am not sexually attracted to him anymore? I don't want to force him to not express himself, but wonder sometimes if he is hiding a part of himself that would like to be more open about, sexually.
We have a young daughter and I would like to have more children; however, if this is going to explode into a scenario where he leaves later on to fully be himself (cross dress in daily life, or move to a more transgendered expression of himself) I am not sure I am interested. He says he can't imagine himself single and without a family, but I'm not sure we aren't just a cover for another life he's wanting to live, but is afraid to.
He is not open with others, including family members, about this side of his sexuality. I feel like in repressing it we are headed in the direction of an affair(on his part) or some other way of self-expressing that he will keep hidden from me because I've said I'm not attracted to him.
I have no idea how to navigate all this in a sensitive but honest way - any advice?
However, when we met and got together we were both more relaxed about what attracted us, and about sexuality in general. My husband, for example, enjoyed wearing skirts occasionally and I thought this was attractive.
Since then, not much has come up about his interest in wearing women's clothes - he is more focused on his career and doesn't think it's appropriate to cross-dress. BUT more recently (the last year), he has expressed frustration that he would like to be himself more, and that he thinks it's just not "okay". He routinely complains about his clothes, saying he doesn't like men's clothes. He is of small build and says they don't fit him well.
I am somewhat embarrassed to say that since our early days, I have become more traditional (in some ways), and am not attracted to the cross dressing or any other feminine behaviour he exhibits. He likes to shave his legs and this is a turn-off for me. He has started buying women's underwear and women's razors. This makes me more uncomfortable than I'd like and is killing my attraction and our relationship.
Of course when I bring this up, he gets defensive and feels like I am attacking him. Is it possible for me to change the fact that I am not sexually attracted to him anymore? I don't want to force him to not express himself, but wonder sometimes if he is hiding a part of himself that would like to be more open about, sexually.
We have a young daughter and I would like to have more children; however, if this is going to explode into a scenario where he leaves later on to fully be himself (cross dress in daily life, or move to a more transgendered expression of himself) I am not sure I am interested. He says he can't imagine himself single and without a family, but I'm not sure we aren't just a cover for another life he's wanting to live, but is afraid to.
He is not open with others, including family members, about this side of his sexuality. I feel like in repressing it we are headed in the direction of an affair(on his part) or some other way of self-expressing that he will keep hidden from me because I've said I'm not attracted to him.
I have no idea how to navigate all this in a sensitive but honest way - any advice?