Some Advice Please

JenSpin · Feb 14, 2014

My husband and I have been married for just over three years and have been together for just over 7 years. When we first began dating he told me about sprained ankle fetish that he has and I was fine with that. About a year after we married he started to become really persistent that I should sprain my ankle for him. He said that he has been waiting since the start of our relationship and that's too long. He also said that he lost patience and that he knows it will never happen naturally, so he needs to take matters into his own hands. I have never had more than a grade one sprain (I'm not sure how I have never really hurt my ankle because I am very active) and that's not good enough for him, he wants me to have at leats a grade 2 sprain before he will be happy. He buys high heels shoes for me and wants me to wear them all of the time especially in situations where the chances of me spraining my ankle are pretty likely, like walking on uneven grassy ground, or running up and down stairs, or hopping in high heels. He also tries to hurt my ankle with his hands and wants me to do things to stretch the tendons to make it weak, which is very painful. I personally don't think that I should be forced to do any of this if I don't want to and that I shouldn't be expected to have to physically hurt myself for his or anyone else's sexual gratification, and that he should respect my feelings towards all of this. Then he starts making me feel guilty and sometimes if I disagree he won't even talk to me for days and tells me that we should never have married and that I have lied to him and led him on. So I usually give in so I get my husband back.

He also talks to girls online who have sprained their ankles and he is constantly searching for new photo's and videos online of girls with sprained ankles or who are spraining their ankles in video's so that he can add them to his collection. It has also got to a stage where he pays girls to do photo shoots and make videos for him that he posts online and adds to his collection. I've also discovered that he also gets these girls to wear some of my shoes when he is doing these photo shoots, which makes me sick to think about.

He has somehow justified all of this because some of the guys he has talked to online have told him that their partners have sprained their ankle for them and therefore I should be willing to do the same for him if I love him.

I have also suggested we do some therapy sessions to try and work this out but he's not interested because he doesn't want to be telling all of this to a stranger and I think he thinks that a counsellor would take sides.

I haven't talked about this to anyone about this because I know that this will change peoples opinions of him. In every other way he is a wonderful person and a wonderful husband.

Is what he doing to me a form abuse? I have often thought that it may be.

Any comments or thoughts you have about what I should would be very appreciated.

askari · Feb 14, 2014

Umm....a sprained ankle is an injury.

Having a fetish for high heels, feet, French maid outfits, uniforms etc is one thing....getting 'sexual gratification' from an injury?

I'm afraid your husband needs therapy...sooner rather than later as this could just be the tip of the iceberg.

samwise182 · Feb 14, 2014

yeah I've never heard of such a fetish but if it starts with that what if he gets tired of that and wants you to break your arm or tear some skin off next,would he sprain his ankle for you?i don't get it is it cause your kind of helpless then is that what it's about?

melw74 · Feb 14, 2014

Sorry, but i find this whole thing weird, and i had to reread it just to make sure i had read things Properly.

Now, where do i start. I have never heard of anything like this in my life, I mean i have heard of people having strange fetishes, but this is just the most strangest thing i have heard.

I mean can you say that this is a form of abuse, well your husband wanting to physically break your ankle, then yes, I think it is.

I mean spraining your own ankle, bloody hurts anyway, and honestly, how can anybody get turned on by somebody in pain.???..... especially somebody that loves you, its beyond me.

Reading this post made me feel a little uneasy, especially the part about your hubby wanting you to wear heals on every occasion where he wants you to sprain your ankle.

I do not think for a second that you have to do anything like this to prove you love him, hes just pushing you to do something that you obviously feel very uncomfortable doing, and with good reason may i add.

I agree with the PP, He needs help with these weird feelings.

blackeugene · Feb 14, 2014

That's not a fetish, it's an injury. There are many fetishes out there but this is one of the weirdest I have ever heard of. If you don't feel comfortable breaking your legs, just don't do it and explain to him that this is not normal and you want this to stop.

Be safe!

JenSpin · Feb 14, 2014

I guess the issue that I have is trying to get my husband to understand that what he wants me to do is wrong, because he doesn't believe that it is. That he shouldn't expect me to hurt myself for his gratification. He genuinely thinks that what he is asking/expecting me to do is ok.

Pault · Feb 14, 2014

This should be way out of question for ANY relationship. Some will have some gentle spanking, others more into rope work but physical distruction is really a major concern to anyone of reasonable interlect. If you did what was asked you will, without doubt suffer issue later in life. If this guy really love you, he'll get some serious professional help. Honestly, you must NOT conform to this. Whats next, rip out a kidney.
Physical damage is not a loving, sharing event. Its Sadism

chillymorn · Feb 14, 2014

hes crazy!!!!!!

tough decision time. do you want to fight this battle the rest of your marriage?

he won't talk to you for days because you refuse to injure yourself for his sexual fetish.

when you older and have ankle problems because you let the a$$ talk you into spraining your ankles.that will be well worth it.

from what I understand its very difficult to cure a fetish.

maybe your should tell him you have a tennis elbow fetish and he should comply with injuring himself for you.

or tell him you have a fetish for large penis and he just doesn't have one big enough.

big he sounds like the biggest D*ck of all time!

usmarriedguy · Feb 14, 2014

That is way over the top, that is not an acceptable request and it would be very difficult to purposely sprain an ankle anyway.

This guy needs therapy.

Acting like your foot is sprained is a bit weird but wanting you to actually sprain your foot is abusive.

Anon Pink · Feb 14, 2014

Safe, sane, and with consent.

Your husband is way out of line. Pain without injury can be acceptable for those with that fetish. Pain with injury is never acceptable.

There are people with amputation fetishes too. Only I'm pretty sure they know it's a sick fetish and wholly unacceptable.

If this is a deal breaker for either of you, he should try sex therapy and STOP feeding his fetish online!

MissScarlett · Feb 14, 2014

Of course that is abusive. Asking you to injure yourself is over the line. In my opinion, him making films on this subject and having the 'models' wear your shoes is also emotionally abusive.

I have terribly weak ankles and sprain then frequently. It's a constant pain that is part of my life. I've had surgery on both ankles already.

Guess what - still wouldn't do that for a fetish. My life revolves around NOT spraining my ankles. Due to my life circumstances a relationship would end at the point of a man admitting this to me.

I don't imagine spraining your ankle once would be enough to him. Is he planning on coercing you into crutches for the rest of your life? Ridiculous.

SpinDaddy · Feb 14, 2014

JenSpin:

My gut tells me this post is BOGUS. But if it’s sincere, the dude is creepy like Hannibal Lecter and Jeffrey Dahmer creepy. If you stay with him you’ll ultimately be on the 10’ O’clock news as the wife of the freaky serial killer, child molester or what have you.

6301 · Feb 14, 2014

This is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. Does he get off looking at the black and blue mark on your ankle?

You should tell him. I have a fetish too. Seeing you throw yourself down a flight of stairs. When he looks at you like your crazy, tell him that's how you feel.

There are people who are in to whips and chains and spankings but to sprain an ankle for sexual gratification is......dumb. Please move on before you get yourself hurt.

Anon Pink · Feb 14, 2014

6301 said:
You should tell him. I have a fetish too. Seeing you throw yourself down a flight of stairs. When he looks at you like your crazy, tell him that's how you feel..

:rofl:

How about a fetish where you snap a rubber band at his balls. I actually read a story about that. Quite painful I hear....

RandomWife99 · Feb 14, 2014

I would be terrified of living with him. He seems like he has a serious lack of empathy if he can't understand why you wouldn't want to do this. Sounds like a bit of a psychopath. Does he show compassion at other times when you're hurt physically or emotionally?

Also, how would you even make sure you only sprained your ankle? What if you fell down the stairs in those heels and broke your neck instead.

sarah30 · Feb 17, 2014

Jenspin,

First thing i want to say is that this is something i had never heard off so i did some research. From what i found it isn't as unheard of as i thought. In relation to fetishes though, there are some out there that are 10 times worse than this. People on here should try google before commenting and rating a certain fetish as absolutely insane and the craziest thing they have ever heard of.

secondly some people who have posted that he is a serial killer, and psychopath clearly don't understand the workings of the human psychology and that could not be determined from that little information you provided.

The questions i ask myself are:

Why did you marry him?

Do you know what drives him to want this? Generally fetishes are formed from a particular experience he may had had even when he was a child. what is it about the sprain that he likes etc? trying to understand it may help to resolve it. I'm not saying to go ahead and jump down a flight of stairs because that's just crazy. Fetishes are more profound in today's society and as high as 80% of people have a fetish of some kind and 30% of them don't even know they have a fetish. Women are a great example of this, They pamper their feet daily with nail polish, creams and rubs etc to make them soft and smooth. They wear high heels that extenuate the shape of the foot and legs. A psychologist would tell you that a female who shows all those signs most likely has a foot fetish but just don't know they do.

Thirdly has he been abusive any other way? Is he caring and empathetic when you injure yourself something like cutting a finger or banging your elbow?

gman95901 · Feb 18, 2014

This is a great response and clearly shows that the poster in question has done their homework. There are a variety of fetishes out there related to the lower extremities such as the more common and mundane foot fetish, the foot tickling fetish, the, the pedal pumping fetish, the cast fetish and yes, even the ankle sprain fetish. In the book, A Billion wicked thoughts by Ogi Ogas, Ph.D., you will find that all of these are classical examples of a male sexual cue that gives rise to a variety of cued interests. How does this happen you ask? Following cue theory, during a man's critical period of sexual desire formation, his innate foot cue makes him more likely to pay attention to feet and makes him more receptive to foot-related stimuli. If through chance or culture he is then exposed to a strong foot-related experience—a woman sticking her foot in a thirteen-year-old's face or watching your first girlfriend slowly unroll her black stockings—or even someone tripping and spraining their ankle, then the foot-related details of the experience are more likely to get imprinted. So if this thread is factual, it is not outside the realm of possibility. Furthermore, more extreme fetishes can be dealt with in counseling through the use of cognitive therapy with some degree of success...

gman95901 · Feb 19, 2014

I agree, its most definitely not okay and there needs to be some type of counseling that is for certain. But I think that it is also important to understand how these things take root. It has been said that big things have small beginnings and I suspect that this perhaps began with something small and became twisted into what it now is. That said, as spindaddy so eloquently put it, any fetish that causes anyone harm is not okay....

Faithful Wife · Feb 19, 2014

I bet jenspin and sarah are the same person.

Though this weird stuff does exist, I bet this is a thread where someone who has this fetish just wants to hear others talk about it...which is dumb, because there are special forums for that ,so why do it to us here?

Anyway, the reason I know there is this type of fetish is because a female friend of mine who is a runner had a blog about training for a marathon. Very small and simple, just a handful of other runners were reading it. Then she totally screwed up her foot in an accident and had to drop out of training, and she posted a picture of her bloody bruised busted up foot.

Someone from a fetish site found her picture on her blog and linked it on the fetish site and it had something like 7,000 pageviews over night by people who were sexualizing the image. Gross.

Anon Pink · Feb 20, 2014

Hahahahahahahahaha :rofl:

Well there's one way to up your page hits!

Personal · Feb 19, 2014

JenSpin said:
About a year after we married he started to become really persistent that I should sprain my ankle for him.

I am sorry this is happening to you, if you have said no he should not keep pressuring you on this.

He also tries to hurt my ankle with his hands and wants me to do things to stretch the tendons to make it weak, which is very painful.

This is domestic violence!

I personally don't think that I should be forced to do any of this if I don't want to and that I shouldn't be expected to have to physically hurt myself for his or anyone else's sexual gratification, and that he should respect my feelings towards all of this.

You are right you should not be forced to do anything against your will. If he loved you he would respect your feelings on this, he is an abusive partner. You have done nothing wrong by marrying him, his abuse of you is not a reflection on you it is all him. You need to get help!

Then he starts making me feel guilty and sometimes if I disagree he won't even talk to me for days and tells me that we should never have married and that I have lied to him and led him on. So I usually give in so I get my husband back.

Emotional manipulation like that is not love nor respect, clearly he wants to hurt you and inflict violence upon you.

It has also got to a stage where he pays girls to do photo shoots and make videos for him that he posts online and adds to his collection. I've also discovered that he also gets these girls to wear some of my shoes when he is doing these photo shoots, which makes me sick to think about.

He is also seeking sexual gratification outside of your marriage, he is unfaithful and has no respect or love for you at all regardless of what he may say.

I should be willing to do the same for him if I love him.

More manipulation, if he actually loved you he would accept that you don't want him to physically injure you! In fact I would argue he would not want to harm you at all.

In every other way he is a wonderful person and a wonderful husband.

No he is not, he is abusing you, this is domestic violence you need to get help and you need to remove yourself from this situation as soon as possible.

Is what he doing to me a form abuse? I have often thought that it may be.

You are right, it is and you don't deserve any of it you are a special woman who is worthy of so much better. You are in danger whilst you are with him.

happy as a clam · Feb 19, 2014

Honestly, I've tried a thousand ways to Sunday to figure out how having a sprained ankle could turn someone on?!?!

Maybe it's because he would get turned on if he sees you hobbling around on crutches (kind of the damsel in distress thing?) As someone who was in a terrible car accident in my 20s, where I suffered a broken foot and a sprained ankle, I can tell you there is nothing sexy OR attractive about it.

Sprains are worse than breaks, by the way. The pain just goes on and on.

Does he want to see you in pain? This doesn't seem like a fetish at all.

alexm · Feb 20, 2014

What's wrong isn't the fetish, it's the emotional and mental abuse going on because she won't comply with her husband's wishes. THAT'S the problem here.

Let's spend less time on the fetish and more time on the ramifications of this fetish within this relationship.

No matter what it is she won't do, how he is dealing with it is not okay in the slightest.

OP (if you are for real), get out of this marriage asap. Not because he's got this fetish, but because of how he treats you for not complying with his wishes. This won't stop. Even if you succumb to the pressure and do it once, he will ask you to do it again. And again. And again. Sounds like a pretty fun marriage to me.

kalimata · Feb 21, 2014

Tell him that YOU have a new fetish:

That he has a nail driven through the middle of his testicles.

Lets then see how long he continues to ask for this nonsense from you

Qetesh · Dec 3, 2014

I know someone like your husband , he is using me for his ankle fetish for almost a year now , he is a powerful member of MTL community with law degree under his belt .. To be honest I just fake the injuries to please him , I am using him
as much that he is using me for the moment ... I came here to find out why he is like that because I think he could get dangerous , he stalk me on FB , TWITTER and even sometime call me at my home ... I even suspected him to follow me and watch me from far

Qetesh · Dec 3, 2014

no it's not a prank it's very real !!

Faithful Wife · Dec 3, 2014

:crazy:

Qetesh · Dec 3, 2014

I know someone exactly like your husband , he is using me for the ankle fetish he strongly has ... He is a powerful member of our region and also a law degree under his belt ...

Me and this MAN do play together this ankle fetish thing for about a year now, to be honest I fake my injuries !! NO way in hell I will brake or hurt my body for anyone , after a moment I was curious to find out why he was like that because it does frighten me at this point ( fetish getting worst) , the MAN is stalking me on ALL social media , calling me home , asking me to skype from his work place \ the worst of all it's whenever I try to talk\text to him outside of the role we play, for example business matters , he can't never stay focus more then 2 sec to 10 sec maximum, every time he goes back to : How is your ankle now darling? it hurt , feel like crying? etc..
For the past few weeks this is getting on my last nerve and I am seriously thinking of stopping all that together & ASAP what did I get myself into???????
After reading all the post of your blog, I am very fearful! This person have BIG hats gouv. connections , lawyers brotherhood , police force, worst he was some type of Governor of the army at one point in his giant Carrier ....
I am sure This MAN even followed me around , I could swear I saw his red car on my street couple of time ...
Thank you for answering me but now I am scared

EleGirl · Dec 3, 2014

Qetesh,

You need to start your own thread so that people will respond to you and not the original poster who started this thread almost a e year ago.

My quick response to you is to end your relationship with this man. He's dangerous. The fetish is not for sprained ankles.. that's just the start. To keep him excited it has to escalate. So over time he will want you to really be hurt and to be hurt more.

RAYMOND · Oct 7, 2015

Agree. He is sick and needs help.

Some Advice Please

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