Can marriage with little sex last long?
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Can marriage with little sex last long?

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 10-04-2010, 02:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Can marriage with little sex last long?

I had an emotional affair started from stupid online chats for a long while. I'm not sure if that caused my current problem. My husband knew my emotional affair because I told my husband I had emotional affair and I was afraid that I had lost my sexual desire for him... I also cried... he didn't give me any pressure or unhappy face. Can you believe? zero anger, zero spying, zero further questioning me. He was a bit sad and that's all what he had... Anyway, my stupid emotional affair had ended itself. Yet, my sexual passion for my husband hasn't returned, and I've no idea where my sexual desire is... I don't fancy that stupid guy anymore although I used to fancy him.
There're some up and down in my marriage but we've been hand in hand and very close to each other. How to find my passion back for my husband? He's been a very good husband but I just don't know what happened to me...
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Old 10-04-2010, 02:20 PM   #2 (permalink)
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You must have had an attraction to him at one point or you wouldn't have married him. What did you used to find attractive about him and how has he changed?
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Old 10-04-2010, 02:31 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thank you themrs! You have just remindered me the past. Yes, we were hot and attracted to each other when we just met. Now we both became lazy to please each other.
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Old 10-04-2010, 02:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can marriage with little sex last long?

We used to party, drink and then have fun. If we go party, we will come home tired or drunk but we will fancy the bed to sleep.
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Old 10-04-2010, 03:40 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can marriage with little sex last long?

How about doing something that will make him want you back. Sometimes, we are so comfortable with each other looks and use to it..hence you said became lazy. What chat online, when you can pick up gym, make yourself look good where he notice you.

And Point blank tell him again and again third time, your leaving and still looks great! It's just my opinion.
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Old 10-05-2010, 02:56 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can marriage with little sex last long?

Thanks I know what you mean. My husband does notice me every now and then... The problem is I've no passion for him, I feel comfortable to stay "unnoticed," I don't mind having little sex, like once a month. I lost my desire for my husband. How to find it back? Any advice please?
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Old 10-05-2010, 04:24 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can marriage with little sex last long?

People have to justify everything they do. If you two don't have sex, you have to find or create a reason to explain to yourself why you don't. Similarly, if you make yourself get back into the habit of being intimate, you will soon both convince yourselves that you are being intimate because you seriously desire each other. Simply put, you may have to fake it till you can make it.
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Old 10-05-2010, 07:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by MsLonely View Post
Thanks I know what you mean. My husband does notice me every now and then... The problem is I've no passion for him, I feel comfortable to stay "unnoticed," I don't mind having little sex, like once a month. I lost my desire for my husband. How to find it back? Any advice please?
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Talk it out with your husband, let me tell you he is super hurt and if you don't try to get closer to him, he'll just be more resentful towards you....in physicology what seems to happen is that love may become hate when there is a situation that pushes one over the edge....and you having an online affair may perfectly end your marriage...so talk to your husband - make sure you have time and under close doors talk about everything why you felt the need to have this kind of affair online in the first place and why you have aparted from him....if he still loves you, he'll appriciate you reaching out to him....talk about your problems....sometimes it is difficult and don't run away from them even if things become very heated...keep sane and logic and keep at it.....those who are able to express all what they feel and those with better chances to be happy
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Old 10-05-2010, 08:05 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can marriage with little sex last long?

Thank you very much! I appreciate your advice a lot! Do you think he would feel super hurt? I have to find out.
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Old 10-05-2010, 10:23 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can marriage with little sex last long?

Guess what. I think my husband is a fine husband. He's fine with everything I offer already. So why I must work harder? He didn't mind it when I tried to find excuses not to get intimacy with him. We would just watch tv together until very sleepy.
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Old 10-05-2010, 10:41 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Guess what. I think my husband is a fine husband. He's fine with everything I offer already. So why I must work harder? He didn't mind it when I tried to find excuses not to get intimacy with him. We would just watch tv together until very sleepy.
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hopefully it is not the case, correct me if i may be mistaken, but sometimes the fear of rejection will kill off any remaining desires, forcing him to accept the fact that it will be useless to keep hoping for it...
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Old 10-05-2010, 11:09 AM   #12 (permalink)
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hopefully it is not the case, correct me if i may be mistaken, but sometimes the fear of rejection will kill off any remaining desires, forcing him to accept the fact that it will be useless to keep hoping for it...
You're totally right. So what would you suggest me to do?
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Old 10-05-2010, 11:23 AM   #13 (permalink)
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You're totally right. So what would you suggest me to do?
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when was the last time u guys made love? well i am not pro in this, but i would say that what u described is what i am more or less feeling as of now. sometimes guys are just suckers when it comes us to not wanting to make u ladies mad, and too much rejection for something so dear to us aint something fun to go through all the time.

if i am ur hubby, i would love it if there is a chance to discuss about ur sexuality. maybe u can start of by asking whether he still finds u attractive n stuff. then u maybe u can proceed to ask if his love for u is still that strong and he still desires for u, y has he stopped initiating sex for so long..

u may be opening a can of worms, but i believe sometimes it is better late than never. good luck
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Old 10-05-2010, 12:39 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Can marriage with little sex last long?

I will give it a try, I think he's gonna love it! Many thanks!
Now I've got an idea to turn him on. How about turn myself on? I'm not very horny whenever he comes near. Do I have to fake it all the time? I did.
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Old 10-05-2010, 06:01 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I will give it a try, I think he's gonna love it! Many thanks!
Now I've got an idea to turn him on. How about turn myself on? I'm not very horny whenever he comes near. Do I have to fake it all the time? I did.
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how wud u feel if he faked his feelings towards u? sex is sorta sacred or even the religion of men, fake it n get caught, u'll loose him forever

if u cant reach orgasm, then just say it, it may be hurting to ur hubby, but at least it gives him more drive n reason to find out if it is his skills that r lacking, or even he has not aroused u enuf...

y dun u try putting on the sexy lingerie, sit by the fire place sipping wine or just having a fun chat, see how he response towards u. very likely u will surprise him but due to too many prior rejections, he may not make the 1st move.

but hey, he's ur hubby for god's sake, u wont lose anything trying to turn him on or even taking the 1st step in saving ur marriage
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