Could it be low testosterone?
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Could it be low testosterone?

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-05-2010, 03:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3
Default Could it be low testosterone?

Hello all,

My first time posting, and I'd love for some input.

Long story short, my beau and I have been together for almost 3 years. First year and a half of the relationship, the sex was fantastic. In fact, it still is...when we actually get around to doing it. Our normal dry spells last approximately 3 months. We've talked about this extensively, and he says he honestly doesn't know what the problem is. He just doesn't think about sex, period. He wants to make me happy in the relationship, and he feels like our issues are entirely his fault.

He is extremely affectionate outside the bedroom...kisses, hugs, smacks on the tush, looks at me the way I feel like I'm the only one in the world he cares about. It's just the sex thing that's the issue in our relationship.

He's suffered from depression in the past, and while he said this time, he doesn't feel depressed...he just feels more moody and 'blah'. He has put on a bit of weight around the mid-section (not too much, but enough for it to effect his self esteem), and that doesn't help things either.

I did some research, and it seems he has a lot of the symptoms of low testosterone. He's making a doctor's appt for next week to check EVERYTHING and see if it's medical or not, but I'm very scared that they're just going to laugh at him considering he's only 29 years old.

I guess my post isn't so much of a question as a means for me to vent and see if other people are going through similar experiences. He says he wants to find a solution, but if it's not medical, he has absolutely no idea what the problem could be.

Anyone out there going through this? With a Low T partner or otherwise?
firefly21 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 10-05-2010, 03:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 1,469
Default Re: Could it be low testosterone?

Yes, it seems his is a bit low. Btw, an increase in higher cholesterol and smoking can also decrease sexual desires. Low testosterone can be easily treated with a shot. Regular exercise and healthy diet are also very helpful.
You want to pay attention to what he eats. Taking a supplementary pill for men everyday is also a great idea.
Posted via Mobile Device
MsLonely is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-05-2010, 03:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3
Default Re: Could it be low testosterone?

MsLonely, thanks for your response.

He doesn't smoke, but hasn't been to the doctor in so long that he doesn't know his cholesterol levels. I've been making healthy meals lately (I cook, he cleans), but he says he's just tired and not interested in physical activity. He used to box until it gave him really bad shin splints, and everything was great then...
firefly21 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-05-2010, 08:29 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Malaysia
Posts: 297
Default Re: Could it be low testosterone?

ur case is the total opposite as compared to mine! i am like raging bull waiting to burst while she is like the sloth on the tree when it comes to sex! lol

could it be more of a mental as compared to a biological setback? to me, when a guy stop fantasizing or even desire to mate with his spouse, either

1) he could have lost his mojo due to stress n stuff
2) he has lost interest in u
3) he's seeing someone else

try not to think too far, very likely point (1) is the real reason. try to think back, was there any specific or horrific ordeal that happened just before everything died down?
malmale is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-05-2010, 09:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 45
Default Re: Could it be low testosterone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by firefly21 View Post
He's suffered from depression in the past, and while he said this time, he doesn't feel depressed...he just feels more moody and 'blah'. He has put on a bit of weight around the mid-section (not too much, but enough for it to effect his self esteem), and that doesn't help things either.

I did some research, and it seems he has a lot of the symptoms of low testosterone. He's making a doctor's appt for next week to check EVERYTHING and see if it's medical or not, but I'm very scared that they're just going to laugh at him considering he's only 29 years old.

Anyone out there going through this? With a Low T partner or otherwise?
I never imagined that I was dealing with a low T level until I got checked last year. I had similar symtoms to what you've described. I was very tired, zero interest in sex, depressed, etc. Been on T supplements since last Nov. Didn't work right away, but things are much better now. Have to find the right dose. Just because your spouse is only 29 doesn't mean he can't have this condition. Good luck.
Rob2380 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-05-2010, 11:37 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
SimplyAmorous's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,648
Default Re: Could it be low testosterone?

I have read alot about Low Testosterone, just make sure they do not dismiss him and his symptoms if he is still in the normal range (300-1100). The problem with Testosterone levels is this: Men never get a base reading when they are feeling good, so when they start feeling bad, they get these results, lets say his are 400ish, they will tell him this is low normal but still NORMAL , therefore NO TREATMENT ALLOWED. BUt if he was normally a 700 # and dropped down to 300 points lower in a short time span, he will feel like HE**, and have all the symptoms you describe. Testosterone is what creates Desire. My husband is 46, his numbers are low normal ( 300-400 range) when tested last year-he was under some stress at work at that time, maybe his #'s has rised, I don't know. BUt we still have a booming sex life, very active for our age, so for HIM these numbers are fine (I feel he was always a lower T guy) but for someone to go from AGGRESSIVE SEX DRIVE to ZERO SEX DRIVE in a short period of time, this is a concern!

If diet, exercise, other health measures do not help, look for a Doctor who will look MORE at the symptoms than his numbers, I have talked to a # of men who got treated at levels higher than my husbands because their symtoms were very very bad, even though my husband had little , if any. He has never been one full of energy to begin with, but enough to stay awake all day , do his job & take care of me, so He is fine.

I hope I made sense here.
SimplyAmorous is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-06-2010, 01:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 266
Talking Re: Could it be low testosterone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by malmale View Post
ur case is the total opposite as compared to mine! i am like raging bull waiting to burst while she is like the sloth on the tree when it comes to sex! lol

LOL Both my husband and me are like 2 slothes on the tree.
friendly is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-06-2010, 08:47 AM   #8 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3
Default Re: Could it be low testosterone?

Malmale, he definitely has been going through some significant stressful issues as of late. I know some of it is psychological, but I'm 99% positive it isn't one of the other 2 things you mentioned because he said he just doesn't think about sex at all lately, period.

SimplyAmorous, I have definitely read up on doctors not treating men because they have 'normal' T levels. I have no problem suggesting different doctors if they're not willing to help with the symptoms.

I'm glad to hear that there is something to hope for out there. Outside of the bedroom, our relationship is amazing. He wants to figure out the solution just as much (if not more) than I do, so for now, I'm taking comfort in that.
firefly21 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-06-2010, 09:32 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Malaysia
Posts: 297
Default Re: Could it be low testosterone?

@firefly 21
yeah, like what i said in Point (1), some emotional stress could be the reason...

i think he needs to at least pull himself up instead of continuing to be a deadfish for something positive to at least happen...

but i am not sure myself, only now discovering something called Testosterone Deficiency... not really something heard over here in malaysia
malmale is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
trying to get dh to try testosterone.need help bellamaxjoy The Men's Clubhouse 20 03-06-2012 08:48 AM
Too much testosterone! Jennifer_DIN The Ladies' Lounge 7 02-07-2012 09:56 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:59 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.