Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
My husband has refused to go down on me with the excuse that the smell makes him feel like puking nd I dnt know why he feels like that cos I know am very neat,bcos of this am begining to lose interest in sex since that act is the one that makes me go crazy nd now I dnt know what to do. I hav asked him abt bjs for him nd said it feels nice bt its nt that important to him. Posted via Mobile Device
Does he like if you use any of the flavored creams?
My H will only do it if he is, as he says, "very turned on". It has nothing to do with how great we smell and taste. My guy also doesn't like to talk about sex and if he ever opens his eyes during any sex act it is only for a split second. So there are several issues I have to work on here. Is your guy the same?
Why does your guy not like bjs? Maybe he was brought up to think that genitals are dirty. Maybe his parents said that to him when he was little. That kind of stuff can stay with you forever, and you may not even remember they said it.
No, it has nothing to do with the marriage or relationship. My H will have sex with me when he is not turned on at all plus so tired he is falling asleep while he is climaxing, he looks at me so sweetly and lovingly all the time, yet he does not like oral and the only thing that irritates him with me at all is when I talk about sex. People are just different. There are millions of married men in the US, and we can only find a couple dozen interested enough in healthy sex to be on this forum. The others don't care or are on porn sites. Don't think everyone is like the men who come here.
I will freely admit that going down on a woman is amongst my favorite things in life. there is a level of intimacy and giving to it that you just can not beat.
In your husbands case i would think this goes back to something in his early sexual education, it has that ring of an issue brought about by experience.
I could see where the smell issue would be a problem. I'm the kind of person who would gag if I smelled something that I thought was unpleasant with my mouth full, but don't get me wrong, I love going down on my W.
As far as the BJs, I would love them, but they always have to be cut short because I am just too ticklish!!! ( A little embarassing, but true!) Perhaps he's too sensitive down there, and feels that by going down on you, he would be putting you thru the same?
The only thing I could think to suggest would be that if the smell bothers him, and you know you are a clean person, maybe see a doctor to ensure you have no infections or anything that could be creating an odor. It might even be something that you don't notice, but if he has a great sense of smell, he might.
Otherwise, I don't know what to suggest. I'm a really lucky woman, my boyfriend loves to do that, so I've not had to go without since getting with him.
To me is about showing the other one how much you love them...if you have trouble going down on her is because something has happened in the past that keep you from getting excited at the idea....if you don't get horny only thinking of doing that to your wife, something needs to be fixed in your head...because is about loving with all your heart that special person in your life...and if you find such intimate thing gross you are not deeply in love with that person....it took many years for my wife to let me cum in her mouth and today is amazing feeling and seeing her do that to me....it also took time for her to understand that she needed to show desire for it, it was not only about doing it, but also showing me that she can also enjoy it....how you suceed in something like that? well, comunication and showing back how much you are willing to become the best friend, husband / wife you can be ....and then, communicate some more....educated yoursef - read statistics and share them with him...it is about work and work..and some day, he'll realized how good is giving you that kind of pleasure....good luck
he could be bullsh*tting you like mine was. My husband wouldn't admit he was insecure about his oral performance. For men that haven't dated women willing to show & teach... a woman's V is very intimidating. Just throwing out the possibility that he is too ashamed to admit his insecurity halts his desire.
Secondly - women have different scents and the scents change with hormonal changes. Not all men enjoy the natural scents of a woman. Thats kinda week he told you that your smell makes him wanna puke and Id find that insensitive.
If its that important to you then ask him if theres anything you can do to improve the conditions down there? ask him what shave style he prefers and always offer yourself right after a shower and use flavored lubes but keep his initial experiment runs short as more like foreplay. Express your desire to exchange oral intimacy and agree to make the experience as comfy as possible for one another. He shouldnt be rude with feedback but honest. hope this helps! Posted via Mobile Device
There is nothing more exciting than going down on a beautiful and excited woman. I can't understand why your husband won't satisfy your needs. I agree with a previous remark made that its a very cruel thing to say.
Here's an idea. Have a hot bath together and let him wash your privates. And maybe ask him to gently lick your outer labia, slowly working inside. If that doesn't get him worked up I would be very surprised indeed.
Let me know if my advice worked :-) Posted via Mobile Device