well, for me i gave her the permission, she was with her "lover" then, he went from 1st-2nd base, but didnt go through it coz she wasnt in the right mindframe...
anyway, this is not somehting everyone would agree/understand... a good article which i read last time answers this. Responsible Nonmonogamy
somehow some way, we are still very much in love with each other even with the presence of her "lover", it is in fact making us cherish each other even more! strange, but i cant fully explain this as well...
i agree here, swinging/swapping is def NOT NOT NOT for everyone, it is a feeling that is unexplainable. there are so many levels you can connect on with your spouse, DH and I have done this in the past and it draws us closer together as a couple. we are stronger and more in love than we have ever been before. there is respect trust and love for all involved, but, it is different than "married" love respect and trust. It opens up more doors and ideas in the bedroom, NOT everyone that does this falls for the OW/OM that is a blanket statement
IMHO, swinging/swapping is for couples who have REAL
love trust respect for one another, they are NOT jealous and they know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that their DH/DW will not allow this lifestyle to go further than what is agreed.. YA YA YA, i know what you are going to say:
"but we are all human and we can not help falling for someone else that we are having sex"
Ok, here it is
****ing/sex is just that, you are just having sex, you need to put yourself in that right frame of mind that this is all about SEX nothing else, no commitment no relationship NOTHING MORE!!
Making love is totally different, there ARE real emotions feelings sensations and a feeling of love between the couple. Intimacy is what you end up with. love is involved and nurtured between 2 people.
When you are swinging you are sharing a moment of pure sexual gratification/satisfaction, it has nothing to do with "oh, she is skinner/tighter, or he is bigger/thicker ect ect ect... sure, you may find someone that you like better, but, in the end, it is about SEX pure and simple..
i guess you do have to really have done this kind of thing and not be an emotional mess/jealous type to have this experience.
and for those who think that this can lead to "other things" well then this is def not for you.