Originally Posted by marcopoly69
This is a problem....I just don't have it in me to only be happy with what we have....I need more intimacy...why your wife doesn't talk to me about sex...I mean never!.....I am getting tire of feeling like I am the only one who wants have a real connection...she doesn't get it....it doesn't matter what we do in bed, since it is always me asking for something special...she makes me feel that if we were to have the same sex life that we had 10 years ago, she'll be also happy - probably...I just can't help it to feel blue...
As someone before me stated, some women really don't understand that sex for some men has a lot to do with an emotional connection. They just think their men want a physical release and that they're obsessed about sex.
For that matter some men think the same too. I'm in your boat asking"why won't he talk about sex" "why won't he get that sex helps me bond with him".
She doesn't get the way you're trying to connect but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to connect with you. She probably has a completely different way to do that and you may be missing the point just like she is. She may be sitting thinking "why won't he talk to me about...x? doesn't he want us to be happier?".
On top of that, if you're bringing the sex subject up a lot of times, she's probably used to that, bored of it, tired of the conversation etc especially if what she wants isn't discussed ever. I don't think what you're asking for is a lot and i also think your wife might start giving that if you learned to inspire that in her instead of demand or ask. One thing that i learned while trying to fix my own marriage problems was that some things you can't ask for.
As an example, asking "please love me" is pointless because the other person doesn't have a choice. He/she either loves you or not. Instead, modifying your behavior to be more appealing for that person, nicer, more loving and a "seducer" to call it so can and perhaps will make that person love you.