married and want to try new sexual things.
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » married and want to try new sexual things.

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 10-23-2010, 09:25 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy married and want to try new sexual things.

okay here the deal...ive been married for 12 years and my husband and i have sex about 4or 5times a week. our sex life is pretty good. we watch porn together etc. buuut.....i wanna try new things, we r pass toys, oils, a massages lol. i want to try threesomes a couple sex. and yes i have told him i want these new sexual adventures but he isnt as open to them. i told i dont want to go out my marriage to fullfill my fantasies! i would even agree to have an open marriage!!! im desperately seeking excitement!!! what to do????
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Old 10-24-2010, 05:35 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: married and want to try new sexual things.

Hi Mz -- My husband is a huge fan of this and at one time I considered it, but ultimately I could not go through with it. But when I was considering it, he showed me forums of people that participate in it and it explains everything one needs to know and its etiquette. Try researching the internet for these forums (make sure you use a keyword forums when searching for it otherwise you'll get a bunch of porn sites. I'd link them to you privately, but I don't remember them.) Once the research is done, show your husband. Maybe after he sees all the information that's out there, he may become more open to the idea. Good luck!
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Old 10-24-2010, 08:07 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: married and want to try new sexual things.

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Originally Posted by terris7777 View Post
Hi Mz -- My husband is a huge fan of this and at one time I considered it, but ultimately I could not go through with it. But when I was considering it, he showed me forums of people that participate in it and it explains everything one needs to know and its etiquette. Try researching the internet for these forums (make sure you use a keyword forums when searching for it otherwise you'll get a bunch of porn sites. I'd link them to you privately, but I don't remember them.) Once the research is done, show your husband. Maybe after he sees all the information that's out there, he may become more open to the idea. Good luck!
threesom not good, i dont think u married to your husband for love, i am not suggesting u to do that,
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Old 10-24-2010, 08:23 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: married and want to try new sexual things.

Keep in mind as you read my answer that I am not the kind of person who could have a threesome or bring any other person into my sex life with my boyfriend. But I do not judge or disapprove of those who do.

With that said, my first husband was into threesomes and swinging and such. Although I made clear from the beginning that that was not me, I could not and would not do that, he pressed for it anyway. I will admit the way he went about it was to just ask over and over and over, and tell me I was boring and silly and stuff like that. But...the more he pushed, the more annoyed I got. And the more annoyed I got, the more fed up and out of love I got. The more he bugged me to bring other people into our sex life, the less I wanted to have a sex life at all with him.

While I think terris has a good idea, I also think that once you do that, if he still refuses, your best bet is to drop the topic if you still want to be with him. Continuing to bring it up after he's said no will push him further away. It will make him feel as though he's not enough for you, which will lead to other problems in your sex life.

I also think that sometimes ideas like this are best left in the realm of fantasy. They sound really good when you think about them, but once you actually follow through, you regret it, you feel bad/jealous/ashamed/whatever, and it damages, if not destroys your marriage.

Even if you get him to agree to it, I'd consider very carefully whether or not to do it. Especially because of his refusal so far, I'd be very concerned that *he* will be the one to be jealous and hurt and not deal well with it.
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Old 10-24-2010, 11:14 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: married and want to try new sexual things.

if he's not into it and u dont mind sacrificing ur marriage, here's something for u to read

DISCLAMER : think about ur marriage, talk to ur hubby maybe let him understand about ur urges, then only consider it if u get his consent, otherwise, be happy with what u have

Responsible Nonmonogamy
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Old 10-25-2010, 04:02 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: married and want to try new sexual things.

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Originally Posted by MzAdventure View Post
okay here the deal...ive been married for 12 years and my husband and i have sex about 4or 5times a week. our sex life is pretty good. we watch porn together etc. buuut.....i wanna try new things, we r pass toys, oils, a massages lol. i want to try threesomes a couple sex. and yes i have told him i want these new sexual adventures but he isnt as open to them. i told i dont want to go out my marriage to fullfill my fantasies! i would even agree to have an open marriage!!! im desperately seeking excitement!!! what to do????
Is it that he just doesn't want some new adventures, doesn't want to share you, or just can't separate sex from love? Will he allow you to have some of these experiences, discretely, without him? How would you like to be the third in a threesome with another couple?
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Old 10-31-2010, 01:08 AM   #7 (permalink)
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If he did not jump at the chance when you said it... He don't want to and you should not press it. About worrying about going astray... you wer'nt even there.
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