Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Recently I got my hair cut. I have always had it long and in the last year have started to cut it shorter. Now my new do is pretty short but I love it! Life has been busy for us and I have noticed that it has been a long time since my husband and I have had sex. So I have tried to initate it for the last week. Everytime he is tired or just doesn't come to bed while I am awake. So yesterday I made every effort to have him have a stressfree day. I visited him at work and took him to dinner. I tried to seduce him and no response. Finally he said " are you going to cut your hair shorter?" He is not attracted to me. He loves me but isn't attracted. What do I do? Is this really a big deal or not?
I can tell you what I would do! I would go over to Fredrick's of Hollywood's website and order a long wig! I would then get dressed up in some fantastical dress up outfit and shag the living heck out of him...
But that's me!
My husband DOES definitely prefer long hair. I got one hair cut that was so marmy that he had to work really hard to get over it.
My husband loves my hair long. He gets all anxious when I go get a TRIM. It's down to my mid back when I straighten it not which is probably the longest it's ever gonna get. I have cut it up to my shoulders without any issues. But anything shorter then that and I know he would pout
Yes, some men love long hair. I love seeing women with long hair as well and i'll tend to keep mine that way because it makes me feel a tid bit more womanly for some reason. vthomeschoolmom's idea is great. Was about to suggest the same. Go for a wig until your hair grows back. In fact, you can even go for several wigs and leave the sensation that he's having sex with different versions of you. I'd even go as far as invent different personalities for different wigs(the brunette more agressive, nice sweet blonde, fiery redhead) and act their parts. You get to have more fun, he gets to have more fun. At the end of the day, you can ask him which of you he wants
Although some short styles can be sexy, I understand some men just can't get past the "women must have long hair" school of thought. What age group are you in? How is the color? What's your facial structure like? My experience is that a great stylist can make even a short style "smoke" (if your facial structure accommodates it). However, it sounds as though you need to get busy growing your hair out. You may want to see about getting a weave put in for now.......if the hair is that big of deal for your husband.
Never had long hair, still don't. For some, the choice of long or short is not a choice. I have fine hair, but lots of it and it just won't grow long...so I've had short, pixie and almost shoulder length.
Hubby doesn't have an issue with hair at all. Said I could be bald and it wouldn't make a difference. He doesn't dictate my hair (it was short when we met/married, longer now, but still considered short) and I don't dictate his.
He's retired military and still keeps the high and tight going - I don't like it, but its his hair. I didn't marry him for his hair, he didn't marry me for mine. Our faces are still attractive, just a tad older - that's what attracted me in the first place.
So to be honest, I find it extremely shallow if he is no longer attracted to you just because you cut your hair short...got to be something else...JMO.
So I know it's been a long time since a post on this topic, but I felt strongly enough to become a member and comment.
It's somewhat common for women to cut their hair shorter after marriage or children, but you wouldn't imagine how severely "how short" matters to some men, I'm finding myself included now.
When we met my wife's hair was to her mid-back, she wouldn't style it, just occassionally brush it but that was FINE by me, I prefer a natural, less made-up look. After our first baby, she cut it to around neck-line- understandable- who wants their head yanked constantly when trying to take care of a little one? I still thought she looked great. The last couple times she's gone in for a cut, though, she's cut it very short, particularly on the sides. It's done by a stylist and is supposed to be a women's cut, but I'm now at a point where anytime I look at her all I can think is "MAN!", and have great difficulty in finding her attractive now, at all. Short haircuts work for some facial types, but definitely not all as they start to grow back out. A poster in another thread said that women will sometimes do this when they are wanting to shun attention from men. That also might work very well for the guy you're with.
I read my husband this post and he thinks it is bogus that your husband won't sleep with you just because you cut your hair. He thinks it is an excuse.
Some haircuts are more attractive than others and the very short and unstylish "mom do" is not hot, however if your husband loses all attraction to you just because of your hairstyle, I would be concerned.
Life has been busy for us and I have noticed that it has been a long time since my husband and I have had sex. So I have tried to initiate it for the last week. Every time he is tired or just doesn't come to bed while I am awake.
How long is 'a long time'? Some women put physical intimacy with their husband at the very bottom of their list. If you're this type of woman then there might be a resentment issue going on with your husband regarding the length of time the two of you had sex. More so IF in the past he initiated sex and you shot him down.
Consider talking with him and asking him if he feels any resentment towards you. You may be surprised by his answer.