My Husband Wont Masturbate in Front of me - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #31 of 35 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 09:27 PM
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Re: My Husband Wont Masturbate in Front of me

1. He may be embarrassed to start masturbating, while not fully aroused, while you watch him. Try this: While having intercourse, when he says he's about to come (but not when he's too close and it's too late to stop), pull your hips away from his and ask him to ejaculate on your belly or breasts. Don't use your hands; he'll have to masturbate until he comes - he'll need to come if he's close enough, so he'll have no choice. Rub his semen into your skin over your breasts and belly, then beg him to lick you to finish you off. While he's licking you, talk dirty and tell him you're about to explode after watching him jerk off and come on your body, because it made you feel hot seeing how much your body excites him. Then moan louder and louder & push his head deep between your legs. Let your body go when you come. If you're not ready, fake it and never, ever tell him you faked it. Do that a few time and you won't need to fake an orgasm. Then shower together & use a sex toy to arouse him when he's able to get fully erect - wait awhile if you know from experience how long it takes him to get another erection. Don't talk about what happened. When he's able again, have intercourse in his favorite position & let him come inside you. Have intercourse a few more time over the next week, then have him pull out when he's fully erect & aroused, but not too close to coming. Turn over & beg him to come on your ass. If he's aroused but not close, he'll have to masturbate longer to come. Don't watch this time, but when you feel his semen, ask him to rub it over your ass. Beg him to lick you until you come, even if it takes awhile, don't forget to let yourself moan & let your body go when you come for real. After having intercourse a few more times, turn your head when he's about to come on your ass. From that point on, he shouldn't be embarrassed any more. Strip in front of him and beg him to masturbate while you watch and come on your *****. Then do whatever you want when you want it.
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post #32 of 35 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 02:18 PM
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Re: My Husband Wont Masturbate in Front of me

My Husband has a much higher sex drive than me so we use his masturbation, as well as me giving him love in ways other than actual intercourse to help bridge the gap. He masturbates in front of me one to two times a week. Its a normal part of our intimate time together.
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post #33 of 35 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 03:47 PM
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Re: My Husband Wont Masturbate in Front of me

Zombie thread. (3 years old). Probably worth starting a new one.
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post #34 of 35 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 04:41 PM
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Re: My Husband Wont Masturbate in Front of me

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Originally Posted by 4yearsnokids View Post
After reading yalls answers, I asked him yesterday if maybe he had some shame about doing it and he said (after thinking a bit) yes, you could say that. He says he feels like its strange for him to do it after marriage and it makes him feel weird.

I don't really bother him about doing it, I don't necessarily long to see him do it. Mostly I was nervous that it was a symptom of some latent dissatisfaction he had with our sex life, something he wasn't telling me. When he let me see him do it on webcam, I wasn't forcing him to do it...but now, thinking back, I remember I had to keep asking him to adjust his camera so I could see.

I would do it in front of him, but he never asks me to. I think its strange that he has me, but he prefers his hand. Any way to help him release the shame?
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My suggestion would ask him to do you a favor. Tell him that you love him so much that you want to learn how to sexually please him even more than you now do. Tell him that you want him to teach you more about his arousal pattern and what happens just prior to orgasm.

You can tell him that a girlfriend told you her husbands testicles pull up close to his body just before orgasm. Tell him you have never actually had the chance to closely look at him when he orgasms, as the way you normally make love you can't see down there.

He feels as a married man that pleasuring himself is associated with shame, while he may feel that teaching his wife about sex is something husbands should do.

Afterwards tell him how much you liked the watching it; how it made you feel closer to him as you learned things about him you hadn't known before (if you do feel this way). You could also verbally encourage him during the process by smiling, making happy sounds and tell him yes, yes, yes as he gets more excited. Afterwards comment on how the size and color of his penis changes during arousal and how the shape of his scrotum changes during arousal. You can also tell him that he has a lovely "O-face" that melts your heart. In short create a positive feedback loop where you give him positive reinforcement for his action that you want. That is classic conditioning. Go make B. F. Skinner proud of you.

If he can't handle that maybe you can play the ZZ Top song Pearl Necklace for him while out driving around. Learn the lyrics so you can sing along. When you get home you can look at him and say that the song inspired you and you want to take him to the bedroom.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pearl_Necklace_(song)

A Pearl Necklace refers to ejaculating on a woman's chest. This can be either by you giving him a hand job to cause and aim the ejaculate where you want it or it can by him masturbating on your chest.

Good luck.
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post #35 of 35 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 09:43 AM
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Re: My Husband Wont Masturbate in Front of me

Since we're still talking about it...

My view is that I already masturbate 3-4 times a week since actual sex is rare. So I wait to have sex with my wife and she wants me to masturbate? The one time in weeks/months I get to have sex? Isn't going to happen.
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