Feel like a sex object
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Feel like a sex object

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 11-11-2010, 09:38 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Feel like a sex object

Hi All,

So we are married over a year now and have a baby. I have returned to work full time and well things are busy at the moment. However I have lost all the baby weight and back to my normal self but my husband wont have sex with me unless I dress up for him. Now on a week night the last think I have energy for is dressing up. I am not saying I wont cause I do but usually at weekends as the week nights are madness getting home from work, collecting baby from day care, cooking dinner, cleaning house, putting baby to bed etc all the usual stuff. So whats going on here? He says he is attracted to me but why do I feel like he isnt? And also he is not worried about my feeling he will come out with it and not care if he offends me at all. I dont know what to do.
Any advice appreciated....
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Old 11-11-2010, 09:42 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel like a sex object

Wow, that sounds like he is selfish and only cares about what he needs, maybe you should talk to him about how he is making you feel.
I've never had a husband tell me I had to get fixed up to have sex,sometimes I don't even get a chance to shave my legs! Well If that doesn't help maybe try couple counseling. I hope things get better for you
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Old 11-11-2010, 06:40 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel like a sex object

ok, i'm gonna try and give you a different perspective on this that maybe you haven't thought of. after you have a baby, there are all kinds of things that can get in the way of your relationship, much of it is to do with you are both so busy. maybe he just wants to see you in a different light, it may be easier to see you as the sexy wife you are when you are dressed up, instead of you always being in "mommy mode" ...i don't always dress up...but i do often. but either way it's something you should discuss with him further.
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Old 11-12-2010, 01:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel like a sex object

Define dress up?
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Old 11-15-2010, 12:49 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel like a sex object

If your hubby was in the delivery room, he may not have expected the resulting visual's to effect his view of you. Before you had your child and if it was a vagianal birth, he probably needs to see you differently, because he sees your child coming from your woohoo, rather than a place of home, love and joy. that it still is, but the association has changed. You know what, take him to a store and let him pick out the outfits. Let it go a while. Let him work out the stuff. Once he's past it, you may like it more than you know and have him dress up in stuff.. That's what it's supposed to be is fun. isn't it? that's the scared ground marriage is about. We share our deepest scared parts. woohoo.. sounds like this could be a lot of fun.
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Old 11-15-2010, 01:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel like a sex object

I guess everyone's issues are relative, but I just wish my husband made me feel like a sex object. You need to start worrying when he doesn't!

Maybe he's just into the dress up part now. Over the 25 years my husband and I have been married our sex life has grown and evolved, changed. Its not the same as it was even 10 years ago. We all go through stages where we want to experiment, try different things, spice things up - maybe this is just his way of switching things up to make them new and exciting - have you asked him?
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Old 11-15-2010, 04:58 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel like a sex object

there is nothing wrong with being a sex object to your h isnt that why you dated and married him because he desired you and wanted to do dirty things to your body and you loved it dress up can be level 1 to 100 i just bought clothes that my h liked to see me in and we would "play dress up" in reg dresses that i still own and wear sometimes its as simple as taking him shoe shopping try macys clearence rack only look at platform 3inch minum heels and parade around the pair that light up his eyes buy them make it a day food talking laughing hanging out then later that nite whip out the shoes and wear nothing else my h does not complain about shoe shopping at all 5,6,7 stores he is right there in the store with me sitting on that couch and yes i do feel like a sex object sometimes i wouldnt have it any other way also yu think of your h as your protector what if he hated it why would he hate it he sheilds you from the world and makes you feel safe=love so you liked it before the baby fake the funk and it will return for real
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