Wife grossed out at receiving oral
I've been with my wife for 7 years and she's almost always rejected my attempts to go down on her. The handful of times that I did do it, she enjoyed it (I can't say if it was more than or just equal to when I use my fingers), but I always had to get her very worked up with my fingers first and then just sort of go for it before she could deny it. When I approach it more gradually, or ask if I can do it, she always tells me no and tries to pull me back up so that we're lying side by side.
We had a talk about it last night in bed and she explained that she is grossed out by the idea of having my mouth 'down there'. (She doesn't have a problem with me seeing her, smelling her, etc., so I don't think it is a self confidence issue.) She assures me that she loves the rest of what we do together in bed and she always has multiple Os with every session. We've got a pretty solid sex life in general (slower when there have been rough spots in the relationship) and I would say we're together several times a week on average.
So, if we're both satisfying each other then it shouldn't be a big deal right? I guess I'm letting it become some sort of 'forbidden fruit' for me now where I want what I can't have. I enjoy doing the act and it turns me on to please her in that way, plus I'd like to introduce the occasional 69 to our repertoire.
I guess this is a situation where I should just respect her preferences and stick to what works? Am I bad for wanting to just dive in before she can tell me no, if she enjoys it once it's started? I mean, it's not like she is pushing me off once I get going or jumping out of bed to run away. It's like she has more of a problem with the idea of the act, or the anticipation of it, than the actual act itself. And I think that maybe by asking permission I'm just being too passive when what she secretly wants is a man who just wants her so badly that he can't help himself. Actions speak louder than words right?
Is there anything I can do to help her get over the idea that me putting my mouth on that part of her body is 'gross'? (She has no issues with using her mouth on me.) Or should I just let this one go?
Last edited by upstate_guy; 11-15-2010 at 11:18 AM.