Horny wife vs passive husband... help?
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

View Poll Results: How often do you have sex
everyday ! 2 22.22%
5 times a week 2 22.22%
2 times a week 3 33.33%
once a month 1 11.11%
once every two months 0 0%
every 6 months 1 11.11%
every year 0 0%
Never! 0 0%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 9. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-01-2010, 10:00 AM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 4
Unhappy Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Hello,
I would like your advice. My h and I are a young couple. Since we got married I noticed my H had little experience in sex (positions and so on) It is not that im an expert, but I consider myself very instinctive plus other bf I had (b4 getting married) told me i was very sexy. Well, the thing is that my H is very SHY.. at the beggining he didnt enven know how to put a condom, but with time, he started to do more things to me in bed, but now after almost 3 years together, we only have sex twice a week!! I would love to have it everyday, but he says hes tired from work...
I see on the streets that he gives a glance to other women (not even hotter than me).. I just dont understand, If i dress sexy and makes moves on him, he sometimes turns on and we have sex, but during the week even if I give him a lap dance, he just watches tv...
I feel frustrated.
Boys is that normal??
dqueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-01-2010, 10:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Have you asked him what the problem is? Have you considered some sort of role-playing where you had to be the passive one? That would force him to be more active. Just a thought... How old is he, btw?
Bon_vivant is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 10:24 AM   #3 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 4
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bon_vivant View Post
Have you asked him what the problem is? Have you considered some sort of role-playing where you had to be the passive one? That would force him to be more active. Just a thought... How old is he, btw?
Yes, I have asked him, he says he is just tired from work. I have considered the role-playing, but if i am the passive, he is shy to continue (most of the times)... we both are 33.
dqueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 10:27 AM   #4 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dqueen View Post
Yes, I have asked him, he says he is just tired from work. I have considered the role-playing, but if i am the passive, he is shy to continue (most of the times)... we both are 33.
Sorry to hear that. Maybe you could set aside a particular time for your sex (?). I know that sounds rather clinical and non-spontaneous, but maybe that would help...is there a day when he's not as tired from work? What about a quickie in the morning?
Bon_vivant is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 10:39 AM   #5 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Or maybe this: is there some lingerie that he can't resist? What about doing something to him that never fails to get him horny?
Bon_vivant is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 10:41 AM   #6 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 4
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bon_vivant View Post
Sorry to hear that. Maybe you could set aside a particular time for your sex (?). I know that sounds rather clinical and non-spontaneous, but maybe that would help...is there a day when he's not as tired from work? What about a quickie in the morning?
Last week I tried the quickie in the morning, but we have to wake up kind of early since he is off to work at 8am. (leave home at 7am). Gets home at 6pm (but he works in an office, not like he is a miner or something). When he is back I try to seduce him, wear sexy clothes, touch him, but he is on the bed watching tv.

The only days he is the one starting the game is on weekends, but unfortunately when i am in "my days" on weekends, there is no sex, so I have to wait ,even if I get to "normal" during the week, I have to wait until the the NEXT weekend to have sex again...!!! What makes it worse is that we are looking for a baby but with this rhytm I dont think that will happen soon
dqueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 11:57 AM   #7 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Wasn't snipped was he? Doctors always say the big V doesn't make a difference, except for a lot of men it totally kills the sex drive.

I recall getting the "it won't make a difference" advice and it was a total lie. I had all kinds of pain and swelling for weeks to months. It was almost 6 months before I could orgasm without pain. My sex drive is about 10% what it once was (I could have made love to wife hourly everyday.) now I'm only interested every few weeks. I would still go way more often, but we have the opposite problem as you. My wife is always too tired and would rather watch TV than be with me.
SomeGuy80 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 12:22 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 48
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Dqueen, have your husband has his testosterone levels checked. From everything you have decribed, he sounds like he is suffering from low T. This is hugely important, don't put off a simple blood test.
Sierra61 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 12:29 PM   #9 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,738
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

WAIT. Maybe he is tired from work?
Mom6547 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 12:35 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Chris Taylor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,094
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Quote:
Originally Posted by vthomeschoolmom View Post
WAIT. Maybe he is tired from work?
beat me to it.

I work in an office and even though I'm sitting down most of the day, it can get hectic and stressful. I have salespeople and managers yelling at me most of the day and it can really wear you down.

So yeah, maybe he IS tired. I mean 2x per week isn't too bad. I realize that you're not happy but maybe you can work him up to 3x per week to help.
Chris Taylor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2010, 12:56 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 56
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Yeah I am not sure I would read much into that. (my opinion) I tend to think 2xweek is kinda the norm (again may be wrong) thats about what me and my wife are at. I work 40-45 hours a week manual labor and im dead tired when I get home. Not that I think there is a difference in work. I think regaurdless of what you do that after being at work for 8-10 hours, your tired, and may not feel like doing the activities. Just some food for thought.

=]

Dray
Drayvius is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2010, 05:19 AM   #12 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 4
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Thank you all for your replies. Yes, maybe he was tired... good news we are going on vacation now. So hopefully he will have ALL his energy to spend on me, he he he

kisses
dqueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2010, 05:42 AM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 239
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dqueen View Post
, but during the week even if I give him a lap dance, he just watches tv...
I feel frustrated.
Boys is that normal??
We would have to see a video of the lap dance to make an informed contribution.
jamesa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2010, 10:26 AM   #14 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southwestern United States
Posts: 3
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

dqueen
I'll tell you this from a guy's perspective, it sounds like you have a role reversal situation in your marriage.

Most guys will tell you they are in the polar opposite situation where they like to have sex more often than their wives/girlfriends.

For most guys if your wife wears sexy lingerie, gives you a lap dance, & you would rather watch TV, there is something seriously off. I'm not saying this to freak you out, but you need to have a talk with him about what's going on, get him tested for low testosterone, or get him to start working out or otherwise doing something active.
Golfer216 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2010, 10:49 AM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 48
Default Re: Horny wife vs passive husband... help?

" I don't think any guy could just turn a blind eye to a woman who is getting herself off in front of him. "

Yes they would and do if their testosterone is very low. Men who have healthy testosterone levels have no conception of what it's like. A man with very low testosterone has no libido at all. There is no desire, no erections. There's no interest in sex, porn, naked women or anything intimate. It doesn't matter who is next to him or what they're doing.

This is a health issue. My husband had a testosterone level of 114 prior to getting injections, when normal for his age was 700. Believe me, men with that low of a level turn a blind eye to their lady jerking off in front of them.
Sierra61 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
my passive aggressive husband mystory The Ladies' Lounge 7 11-18-2012 03:21 PM
how to handle a passive aggressive husband stillunsure General Relationship Discussion 21 03-26-2012 03:04 PM
love my husband-horny for someone else... lizzie187 Sex in Marriage 11 01-08-2012 09:44 AM
Wife not Horny too much. baltimorebarry Sex in Marriage 7 12-08-2011 08:21 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:30 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage