Re: Can you be happy with a lot but not very exciting sex life?
MarriedWife - I think you make some valid points. You're right, if he has something that he feels is a problem, we shouldn't necessarily judge whether we think it's a stupid problem or not. I guess most of us just can't really even grasp what the problem is. Maybe he's just not explaining it well, I don't know.
The part that frustrates me and I think what I'm hearing from other posters is that I've read some of Marco's other posts and I don't get the impression that his wife just lays there like a blow up doll. She's not acting totally uninterested in bed. I get the impression that they had a problem and she is sincerely trying to make an effort to do better and to please him. But if she is not panting and screaming and acting wild every single night, he's not happy. He's focusing too much on the bad and not enjoying the good part.
Yes, sex is important in a marriage. Yes, it's not fair to be the only one ever initiating or feeling enthusiastic in the bedroom. But you also have to accept your partner for who they are and his wife may never be AS into sex as he is. That doesn't mean she isn't trying or doesn't love him or doesn't enjoy sex. One partner is always going to have a slightly different drive and "freak" level than the other and you BOTH have to work on it and accept it.
All Marco seems to do is say "yeah, I know I should be happy, I'm getting sex every night, I get anal every weekend, I get frequent bjs but she's just not passionate about it". Who really has wild, passionate sex every single night? Some nights are wild, some nights are just about connection and let's face it, some nights are just for your partner. That in itself is a loving act. That doesn't mean you lay there and don't participate but it also means you may not be swinging from the chandelier either.
Would he rather she fake it? To me, it seems like he's talking in circles a bit. She's trying to be passionate but he knows she's just "doing it for me" and can't accept that. He's asking her to have actual passion but that's not something she can just create out of thin air. Some nights, it just isn't there and she can't force it to be there. If she's not passionate, he's not happy. If she tries to be passionate, but he feels it's not genuine, he's not happy. Expecting her to have true, wild, uninhibited crazy passion for him 5 or more nights a week just seems unrealistic. IMO.