Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
In the past she asks/demands that i stop using toys on her (especially the magic wand) after a few minutes. I trully think judging by the past instances she is afraid of me seeing her reaction. For some reason i think she is going to be set off into convulsive orgasms like i have never seen before. I have heard of women who have used the magic wand comment that they screammed like never before.
My intention is to tie her up completely and give her a sensual massage, start slow. In the end i am going to use the toy she uses internally (and seems to like) for a little bit then bring out the wand and really stimulate her clit/clit area and let the sparks fly. I will prep her allong the way that my intentions are to bring her to new places and want to assure her that it i fully expect her to be driven crazy. I want her to feel comforable that it is not this (device) that is making her feel that way but, me (even if the device may be "helping".
I am looking for suggestions on:
1) Creating an erotic mood.
2) Stimulating all of her sences.
3) I am thinking of drawing her a bath first (do women fell more sexy after a bath?
4) suggestions on the logistics of the restraints/positioning. I have a couple of handcuffs but, think those may hurt. I have posts under our bed i can tie too (I am pretty good rope and can tie some knots) not sure if restraints that you buy would be better. I certainly want her to be comfortable.
5) If my suspicions are true (that she doesn't want me to see her react this way) how can i get her to "just go with it". PS i have already tried to "ask her".
Candles.
Different people have different opinions on this one, but I like my DH's sexy tunes mix.
I hate baths. Ick. I do not want to sit in a pool of my own dirt and sweat.
You can't *get* her to do anything. If she feels unsafe or insecure, then she won't want to do it. Have you asked her why she does not want you to see her reaction? When she uses the magic wand (love that thing!) does she squirt? Could she be afraid of that?
Make SURE if you tie her up that you have a safe word. Something that has nothing to do with sex like door mat that you would never normally say during sex. If she says the safe word, it is full stop. Trust is the most important thing.
To clarify it took her months to admit to using the vibrator on herself but, she jokes that it is her best friend. We have a fairly active sexlife so i am not challanged by a toy.
Someone asked if the squirts with the wand. I am not sure it, i guess that it a good question.
To clarify it took her months to admit to using the vibrator on herself but, she jokes that it is her best friend. We have a fairly active sexlife so i am not challanged by a toy.
I don't think anyone is questioning whether YOU are challenged by a toy. But a number of people have, rightly, expressed concern that your desire to tie her up is based on a desire to force her to do something she does not want to do.
Quote:
Someone asked if the squirts with the wand. I am not sure it, i guess that it a good question.
Sounds like she's afraid of "letting go". Sex can make people feel vulnerable, especially if she is out of her comfort zone.Maybe start by blindfolding her, let her get comfortable with that. Why dont you reverse roles? Let her tie you up, let her experience the intensity of being in complete control. Start small, there are so many different things you can try.
My husband was used to the same old boring sex until he met me ..lol
I have opened that mans eyes and made him see that sex is pleasure, pleasure is a good thing. He was hesitant with some things, all I asked was he try it. Now he is open to almost anything and he loves what I have shown him.
I am happy to say that my "bedroom box" is a closet full of fun
In the past she asks/demands that i stop using toys on her (especially the magic wand) after a few minutes. I trully think judging by the past instances she is afraid of me seeing her reaction. For some reason i think she is going to be set off into convulsive orgasms like i have never seen before. I have heard of women who have used the magic wand comment that they screammed like never before.
My intention is to tie her up completely and give her a sensual massage, start slow. In the end i am going to use the toy she uses internally (and seems to like) for a little bit then bring out the wand and really stimulate her clit/clit area and let the sparks fly. I will prep her allong the way that my intentions are to bring her to new places and want to assure her that it i fully expect her to be driven crazy. I want her to feel comforable that it is not this (device) that is making her feel that way but, me (even if the device may be "helping".
I am looking for suggestions on:
1) Creating an erotic mood.
2) Stimulating all of her sences.
3) I am thinking of drawing her a bath first (do women fell more sexy after a bath?
4) suggestions on the logistics of the restraints/positioning. I have a couple of handcuffs but, think those may hurt. I have posts under our bed i can tie too (I am pretty good rope and can tie some knots) not sure if restraints that you buy would be better. I certainly want her to be comfortable.
5) If my suspicions are true (that she doesn't want me to see her react this way) how can i get her to "just go with it". PS i have already tried to "ask her".
The plan is ok but your suspicions could be totally wrong.
Bring her to haven by yourself, not by the magic wand instead.
If she told you to stop, it means she hated it or hated you using that stuff that made her feel sick. That's your desire telling you to try that not hers!
No woman is afraid of letting go and show her reaction. Unless she's a virgin or someone who seldom sees a penis in her life.
I think my wife has held back a few times. Hard to tell, but I had that same feeling that OP had - that she was about to explode, but was afraid to really let it go.
Of course I didn't go back later and push the issue, so I guess I'll never really know.
I want to tie my wife up and use toys on her 
