Need serious advice!! Kinda long...

Mama2crm12 · 12-16-2010, 09:53 AM

I don't know what to do anymore. I have been with my husband for almost 8 years now. Married for 4. I am 27 years old and he is 35. We have a very complicated past, including him having a 5 year old with his ex and has had an affair with her since we have been married. We have a almost 2 year old together. We talked about having another baby and both decided to start trying. My husband has always been weird when it comes to sex, almost reversed roles. He never wants it. He rejects me all the time and can go months without it. In the past, I found out he had been having a relationship with his ex and assumed it had to do with that. Nothing has really changed though, and I know he is not having an affair now. When it came down to having sex to get pregnant he now "feels pressured" I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried talking to him about this many times in the past and now and he just says sex isnt that important. It is to me!! I am attractive, get lots of attention from men so I know it's not me, so what is it? And he smokes pot everyday and I know this could be part of it but he just doesnt seem to care! Even when I try and talk to him he just sits there! I am at my wits end! Help!! Any advice??

MarriedWifeInLove · 12-16-2010, 10:05 AM

With the exception of the affair and the pot, I'm in the same boat.

I wish I could offer some sound advice, but nothing I've tried works either...I don't know what to do myself, but wanted to let you know you're not alone.

If someone comes up with a magic remedy, I'd like to know too.

drillie · 12-16-2010, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama2crm12

I don't know what to do anymore. I have been with my husband for almost 8 years now. Married for 4. I am 27 years old and he is 35. We have a very complicated past, including him having a 5 year old with his ex and has had an affair with her since we have been married. We have a almost 2 year old together. We talked about having another baby and both decided to start trying. My husband has always been weird when it comes to sex, almost reversed roles. He never wants it. He rejects me all the time and can go months without it. In the past, I found out he had been having a relationship with his ex and assumed it had to do with that. Nothing has really changed though, and I know he is not having an affair now. When it came down to having sex to get pregnant he now "feels pressured" I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried talking to him about this many times in the past and now and he just says sex isnt that important. It is to me!! I am attractive, get lots of attention from men so I know it's not me, so what is it? And he smokes pot everyday and I know this could be part of it but he just doesnt seem to care! Even when I try and talk to him he just sits there! I am at my wits end! Help!! Any advice??

With all that has happened. I don't think having another child is very wise. He has cheated several times and a baby isn't going to make things better. He needs some counseling.
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Kitty_Kat · 12-16-2010, 10:48 AM

Ok.. seems to me that he is "just not that into you"... sorry, but how does he demonstrate his love for you? He cheated on you, he obviously doesn't want to be intimate with you, and he isn't willing to work anything out with you.... would it even matter to him if you left him?
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michzz · 12-16-2010, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drillie

With all that has happened. I don't think having another child is very wise. He has cheated several times and a baby isn't going to make things better. He needs some counseling.
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