Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
My husband refuses to give me oral sex unless he is "in the mood", which is about once a month. I have always given him a lot of bj's, almost every time we have sex. I love oral. As soon as he takes off his clothing it's like a magnet. He is affectionate and loving in every other way. He's always grabbing my butt, cuddling me and kissing me. He has no problem with giving me hand jobs, just rarely oral. I am his first for everything, kiss, sex, etc... I was very experienced before we met. When we first started being intimate (before we had sex, just touching and oral) he did it all the time and loved it. About two months after the sex started the oral stopped. We argue about this all the time. I always feel like he doesn't care about my needs and finds me disgusting. He argues that he shouldn't have to do something he doesn't want to. I used to give him sex 90% of the time when he wanted it, even if I didn't. I figured I would want it after we started. Now we barely even do it 4x a month. HELP!
For starters... I love your Avatar. Ash is the man!! Now, to be blunt. I think we all want our partners to be fresh as a daisy when we do oral. Hey, if we are going to talk about oral sex then we had to go there. So... If that is not an issue then I guess he just doesn't enjoy it anymore. I personally can't understand that but some people do have aversions to some things. That's just a fact of life. As for myself, I would perform oral on my wife 24/7 if she let me. I am obsessed with oral in many ways and feel that every square inch of a woman deserves that kind of attention. Go figure, my wife has gotten to the point where I don't think she cares about sex or any kind of physical affection at all.
Back to your problem. Am I correct in saying that you only have sex 4 time a month now or is it that he only performs oral on you 4 times a month?? If he still performs oral on you 4 time a month then you might just have to settle for that. If all the sex had dropped to 4 times a month then you are still doing better than I am . Not that this is a good thing for either of us.
I have tried to get my wife re-interested in sex but I don't know if it is possible. How do you get your husband re-interested in performing oral on you? I don't know? Try dominating him by sitting on his face. That would get my attention ! If you don't totally shave or wax maybe try that to spice things up. If he likes chocolate or whipped cream you could have fun with that as well. Hell, what do I know. Read my posts. My wife barely has a pulse lately
Weird thing about oral-when a man won't give it to a woman, he is condemned as an insensitive jerk for depriving her of what she wants. But if a woman won't give oral, evryone tells the man to not force her into something she doesn't want to do. It's the double standard.
But, now that that's said, Kali, are you sure that he really loved it, as you say? You said that that was at the beginning, and men will do anything for you at the beginning to ensure the flow of sex, or, at the very least, to avoid a fight.
Perhaps he never liked it to begin with, but only does it to please you. Maybe he has a "smell issue"? Not saying your unclean, but maybe the smell, coupled with what he knows comes out of there is putting him off. I refuse to do anything anal to this day because of that.
I noticed when our relationship was going very well, he was more willing to do it, because he wanted to please me. When he does not feel well in himself or toward me, he won't do it. He actually walked out on me the other day when I was masturbating after he had his orgasm. For us, it's all about how he feels toward me.
Do you mean sex itself ? He only cares about once a week? How old are you ? Has this been a slow decline? As men age, their LUST hormone testosterone slowly decreases so this could be a factor . DO you always wait for him to pursue you ?
Speaking of oral , a little embarrasing but for a time I was taking Fish oil caplets, and I noticed husband was not so gong ho on going down there , of coarse he is not going to come right out and tell me I stink. Even though nothing was said, I could feel there was a change, I got emotional about it one night feeling he lost desire for this act -when I was just starting to enjoy it more. Only to learn -by calling him out and talking about it --- I did not taste the way I used too, we figured out it was these vitamins. Even a google search will tell you it can affect your vaginal secretions.
I was so elated to learn THAT was the problem instead of him outrightly loosing desire, but the Cr** we have to go through to get men to admit something- when they don't want to hurt us.
I hope it may be something as simple as this -for you.
theres nothing wrong with a man not giving oral or not wanting to but I see the double standard you are talking about. I personally wouldnt have married my husband if he didnt give oral. Meaning to say our relationship wouldnt have gone much further to get to marriage.
Premarital sex is important, lol. How awful to find out your husband wont give you oral AFTER youre married!
I make sure my private part is well cleaned, shaved and smell like perfume before I go and sit on my husband's face. You will need to make it a habit If you really need it often but make sure it has a nice & clean taste first. Make sure you inform him you already well cleaned yourself and then he's more willing to do it.
I’d suggest getting him in the shower with you, then clean each other, I bet you anything that you won’t be leaving that shower anytime soon when hands and tongue’s start wondering!!
Lol. When I'm in the shower room with my husband, usually I wash him like a baby. After the baby is washed, he goes away and I wash myself.
He never gives me oral in the shower but I do all the time.
He's spoilt. Posted via Mobile Device