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Wife reads a book during sex

24K views 40 replies 24 participants last post by  WadeWilson 
#1 ·
Hi. First post so hello, and please be kind!

My wife and I have been together for about 5 years. My sex drive has always been higher than hers. Recently when I tried to initiate sex she said she didn't want to as she wanted to read. She then suggested that I could have sex with her while she read her book. Since that night she hasn't wanted to have sex again but is happy for me to have sex with her while she reads in bed. She's actually happy for me to have sex with her every night as long as she can read her book and doesn't have to join in. It's a little strange but as I want to have sex I go along with it. She says she's very happy for me to carry on and feels the pressure is off from her to participate. She also say's she is happy in our relationship but just isn't interested but understands that I want to have sex and is happy for me to, her words, use her.

I wonder if this is something I should go along with or perhaps this is a sign of other problems. I don't believe there is anyone else or anything like that and I believe her when she says she's happy so perhaps this is ok?

Any advice please?
 
#2 ·
No offense intended, but have you taken a long hard look at your technique, and if you're meeting her needs sexually? I'd like to think that with most sessions, my partners wouldn't be able to hold a book, much less concentrate enough to read one.

Personally, I wouldn't find it to be ok... Maybe at first, but eventually I'd probably rather DIY rather than having a totally non-interested partner. But if it works for you, I guess it's ok.

C
 
#24 ·
No way I could read a book with my husband. There is most certainly an issue if she can read any ole book while you do your thing. I know some women like to read erotica prior to the act or even during foreplay, but for the main it... no way.

I"m hanging on for dear life half the time lol. You guys need to talk about what she wants and you will have a much better sex life.
 
#4 ·
What is she reading that she can't be bothered with sex?

The library has to go.

Next time she pulls that stunt tell her you need a wife interested in sex without a book to read. That it offends you.

Refuse sex and mention that you'll find a lover who doesn't read.

If she then starts in with a litany of grievances you'll know where you stand.

If she puts down the book and apologizes even better.

Actually, maybe you ought to grab the book out of her hands and toss it out the window and then take her.

She's daring you to complain about her behavior.
 
#5 ·
Sorry but I would be super offended if my husband was reading a book while we were having sex. Maybe you should show her how it feels by doing the same? ....Unless you are the one that brings up sex all the time...and she never asks for it. It doesn't sound healthy to me...that's coming from a female perspective. So I say show her how it feels....or talk to her about it.
 
#6 ·
No no no you find It disturbing or you would not have posted. This cannot be good as a longterm solution for disparate sex drives nor for you or her. Is she affectionate to you are there times that she does not read a book when you have sex? How do you feel afterwards, do you hug hold each other?
My opinion the book has got to go but I don't know how to help you do that and still get the sexual contact you need. I hope someone else chimes in with suggestions.
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#34 ·
:iagree: Was your wife joking when she said this? Why in the world would she think that it's okay to READ while her husband makes love to her? You can't even call that sex; it's called doing a chore.

Wives who don't put out or come up with nonsense like this, do not deserve to be married. You may want to tell her that she should have stayed single, if she didn't want to have sex.

Unbelievable!
 
#10 ·
Okay. Maybe i'm the odd one out here but I think that maye she gets off on this. I know tht me and my husband have tried a little of everything (efore it stopped) andone of the things was sex while reading a book. I myself found it very stimulating to be doing something else while that was haeneing to me. Maybe you should ask her if this excites her.
 
#12 ·
All kidding aside, this hits home with me... My wife would rather read a book, play on the computer, clean the windows, go to the dentist, etc... I know I'm not a slouch in bed... She actually told me that I am too into sex and make such a huge production in bed wanting to do too many positions and perform oral sex on her for too long... We used to have a pretty good sex life though I've had better sex lives with partners in my past. I figured it would get better with time. Even though my wife had been with more people than I had it seemed that every time I would do something it was a total shock to her. She said on more than one occasion that no one had ever done that to her before. Simple stuff like alternating between penetration and oral on her while she was having an orgasm, etc... Why wouldn't a guy want to do that !!

Now I fear that due to hormone issues, weight, etc... she has almost totally lost interest in sex.

I fear your wife has lost interest in sex as well... A person that has a sex drive has a hard time understanding a person that doesn't... Like eating... there is over eating and there is anorexia
 
#17 ·
Boy, I thought I'd seen it all too - I was wrong!

I've put up with a lot of BS this year, but this would be a deal breaker even for me.

I'm surprised that someone is not insulted here.

But, I'm not you guys and if you don't see anything wrong with it and she doesn't - well - all I have to say is different strokes. :)
 
#18 ·
Find your post a little bit familiar, my husband and I have done it many times, but ours is a little bit different, sometimes two of us read in bed before we go to sleep, so he just puts his cok inside of me and does me spoon, and ****s me slowly, you can imagine the picture, we are reading and ****ing, it is actually interesting, it makes our reading more enjoyable. But what we are doing is different, both of us read. :D

If you don't feel bothered and she knows it is important for you to have your needs satisfied, it is still nice of her.

What does she do when she wants sex? How often does she want sex? If you want sex everyday, and she doesn't need it this often, I don't find it a big deal. If she doesn't want sex at all, then something is not right about her in this activity.
 
#20 ·
First of all thanks for all the replies, I appreciate people taking the time to write. I'll try to answer some of the points brought up.

No offense taken at all, yup I had thought/do think about technique. Looking back at past relationships there had certainly been no complaints and, without trying to sound c***y/stupid etc, pretty sure all partners enjoyed it - though I guess without going back and giving them a 20 point questionnaire I'll never know for sure!

I don't think she's doing it to be rude or because she doesn't care, in fact very much the opposite. We have a great relationship, open, caring, loving and very affectionate. It's just that she only needs sex perhaps once a month or once every other month. When she does want to she seems to, and certainly says she does, enjoy it very much - it's just she doesn't need much sex to satisfy her.

Talking about it she admits she is turned on by the fact she lies there passively letting me use her but that is enough for her the most of the time. Funny how some other readers thought this, and also do it - different strokes and all that. She is happy for me to enjoy her body, even if she doesn't feel the need to actively "join in", and this is her solution to the mismatched sex drives.

So putting thoughts to paper/screen and then talking things over has proved, and quickly, to be both cathartic and enlightening - who'd have thought it! I'm more than a bit reassured that other people get up to similar things in their relationships as perhaps my main worry was that this was totally dysfunctional.

Loved the one about dropping the bookmark!
 
#21 · (Edited)
There are a lot of men here whose wives don't have much sex drive, and the wives don't think satisfying their husbands' desire is a big deal.

Comparing to those women, your wife is a sweet. Hey, you are getting sex every day, did I read right?

Wow, if you have a lot of affection for each other, and you don't get bothered, just enjoy your life! :) We are all different, Nobody says that we all have to be the same. Having peace is more important.

Next time, give her porn stories to read. :D

When I read in bed, love the feeling that there is a toy playing in my pu$$$! :D
 
#22 ·
I used to want to read books more than have sex back in the day. (alot of women seem to be like this early in marraige -our drives are not in full swing--yet). Husband used to hate my books. Most of the time he would just roll over, not even trying when he seen me reading, but sometimes he would start working on me anyway (I was like your wife, he could do what he wanted), and all I can say is --after a little time & attention, those juices would start flowing & that book was the last thing on my mind all of a sudden.

Doesn't this happen to your wife- sometimes? Or the whole time she is content to keep reading and not really getting into it?? I would believe this is working OK for HER, but doesn't this bother YOU?

Have you never gotten upset about this -- and expressed to her how you desire her full attention & presence -for these 15 or so very intimate minutes. I can't imagine not having that conversation but just continuing on like this--every night or so.
 
#25 ·
This reminds me that sex can be so different from what any of us imagine.

Who would think I enjoy this scenario:
I want my husband to read his book when I masturbate, so I can relax. Sometimes it takes me a long time to orgasm with my H (not sure yet why), so I am happy to have him read a book next to me while I masturbate. I just love him to hold me or put his hand over my mouth when I climax. I know this sounds weird. I actually like it, because it takes the pressure off me to be fast, since I know he is busy reading.
 
#26 ·
This reminds me that sex can be so different from what any of us imagine.

Who would think I enjoy this scenario:
I want my husband to read his book when I masturbate, so I can relax. Sometimes it takes me a long time to orgasm with my H (not sure yet why), so I am happy to have him read a book next to me while I masturbate. I just love him to hold me or put his hand over my mouth when I climax. I know this sounds weird. I actually like it, because it takes the pressure off me to be fast, since I know he is busy reading.
Just wanted to tell you your post put this big smile on my face. :)

This kind of communication in a marriage is priceless.
 
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#41 ·
Hmmm I would call it multitasking... Either she values sex so little she can have it while reading... Maybe it's her grift and she loves doing both...
I have a strange perspective to things...
I probably would not prefer doing sex and "____"...
But I would perform oral while my wife reads, but she would not be able to focous on her book...

maybe thats her kink, like when our guys want downstairs action while they either drive or play video games or even shower..
And haa... I too would enjoy "multitasking" during those things too... Hmmm maybe other things too...
 
#28 ·
In some way, you do think it something wrong that's why you posted your question here.
Women have very little sexual drive can't stand you want sex everyday.
So I believe in a certain level, your wife enjoys being harassed and thrusted by you during her reading when she enjoys her reading, she wants you to use her body for fun. It's a pleasure to her if she accepted you happily in this way, it means she likes it as well.
Try a week not to harass her and I guess she would peek at you, checking you out during her reading, wondering why you're not coming for the pleasure. LOL I really recommend you to go away for a while so she would miss the reading & thrusting pleasure you give.
How do you think?
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