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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 12-21-2010, 07:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
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My wife and I have a decent sex life, not as often as I'd like, but with our two small kids and as busy as she is at home - I've stopped expecting too much - I can live with once a week.
Anyway, it was never a issue to have sex two days in a row, and in the rare times - three days in a row. But now, after sex, she's sore for a few days afterwords.
Last year, she had issues with yeast infections, and she suffered from some type of bacterial inbalance in her vagina/uterus (not really sure), to the point where we had to abstain for months until it came back to normal. Since then is where this issue has arisen.
For a little context, she is 37 and we haven't done anything different sexually since the days when two days in a row was a issue. Lubrication is not a issue neither and we don't have rough sex.
I was just wondering if other people here have experienced this.
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Old 12-21-2010, 11:33 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I have been married for 10 years and together for 12, my wife has always been sore after sex and because of that often times we have to wait 1-2 days before we can have sex again. She has always battled yeast infections and lately she gets these paper-cut like cuts around her vaginal opening. I understand what you are going through, it's all so frustrating
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Old 12-21-2010, 11:43 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: sore after sex

How long is your sex?

Please don't think the longer, the better. Normally ten minutes is the best. Long rough sex can hurt them.

At this age, their vagina can be dry, it needs a lot of lube.

You also need to do a lot of foreplay. Get her aroused during the day.
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Old 12-21-2010, 11:49 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: sore after sex

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Originally Posted by klab0001 View Post
I have been married for 10 years and together for 12, my wife has always been sore after sex and because of that often times we have to wait 1-2 days before we can have sex again. She has always battled yeast infections and lately she gets these paper-cut like cuts around her vaginal opening. I understand what you are going through, it's all so frustrating

Please leave her alone until she recovers.

Last edited by MsLonely; 12-21-2010 at 11:54 PM.
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Old 12-21-2010, 11:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Efess, sorry to hijack your post but I must reply to MsLonely

MsLonely, why are you taking that opinion? Tests are showing the cuts are not a bacteria thing and she has been tested for things such as Lichens. Current thought is that she is allergice to something. I think your response was a tad quick to judge, I feel for what my W is going through and I did not place blame
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Old 12-21-2010, 11:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: sore after sex

Please tell your wife to be checked by an OBGYN paper like cuts around the vaginal area can be herpes, I'm not saying they are, but they can be. Also you may unknowingly have an acid imbalance in your system and you are passing the yeast infections to your wife. Men don't normally have symptoms with yeast infections do you continue to pass them back and forth to each other. A complete workup by an OBGYN and a DR visit for you should be able to solve your problem if it's a physical issue. Good Luck and Happy Holiday!
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Old 12-21-2010, 11:58 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Valaria, thanks for your input. You make some good points and my wife is working very closely with her doc. She has been tested for Herpes, and just over a month ago she had a biopsy. I really feel bad for her, I can't imagine what she is going through but it looks painful. I know how a small cut on the corner of your mouth can hurt ...
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Old 12-22-2010, 12:05 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Please make sure YOU see the DR it sounds weird but sometimes a woman can actually be allergic to a mans ejactulate, they will also need to check you, get referrals if you need to for a really good Dr. The female body is sensitive and a little weird again good luck and don't stop seeing doctors until you find one that can figure this out for you!!
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Old 12-22-2010, 12:55 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: sore after sex

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Originally Posted by klab0001 View Post
Efess, sorry to hijack your post but I must reply to MsLonely

MsLonely, why are you taking that opinion? Tests are showing the cuts are not a bacteria thing and she has been tested for things such as Lichens. Current thought is that she is allergice to something. I think your response was a tad quick to judge, I feel for what my W is going through and I did not place blame
Sorry for your misunderstandings! I think you accidentally read my comment while I was still writing my comment.

Sometimes it takes time for me to double checked with the information, it takes few mins for me to go back to read & edit my response, including correcting my spellings & grammar until I feel it looks fine. So in the end I'm sure I didn't say anything that is offensive.

Last edited by MsLonely; 12-22-2010 at 01:02 AM.
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Old 12-22-2010, 05:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: sore after sex

Thanks for all the replies and input.
She has gone to her doctor, but not a OBGYN I believe. She has gotten all types of testing done - we have speculated about whether she developed an allergic reaction to my ejaculate, but we've never been able to tell.
On my next dr visit, i'll probably get checked out myself, to see if i'm passing something to her - i have read about that.
It's not a huge issue, even though it can be annoying at times, i was curious though if this is something other people have experienced and how they resolved it.
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Old 12-22-2010, 11:02 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: sore after sex

Have you tried using condoms ? That might rule out reactions to your ejaculate.


Quote:
Originally Posted by effess View Post
Thanks for all the replies and input.
She has gone to her doctor, but not a OBGYN I believe. She has gotten all types of testing done - we have speculated about whether she developed an allergic reaction to my ejaculate, but we've never been able to tell.
On my next dr visit, i'll probably get checked out myself, to see if i'm passing something to her - i have read about that.
It's not a huge issue, even though it can be annoying at times, i was curious though if this is something other people have experienced and how they resolved it.
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Old 12-23-2010, 08:17 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Have you tried using condoms ? That might rule out reactions to your ejaculate.
She's irritated by condoms, anyway I've got a vasectomy a couple years back - I would hate to have to use them after that
Actually, this past week we had sex and I'm don't think the ejaculate is an issue.
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Old 12-23-2010, 09:10 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: sore after sex

I agree to get yourself tested because you could have a yeast infection or other bacterial imbalance that you keep giving back to her.

Also, have her pap results been normal? Men can sometimes have HPV from a previous partner and pass it on. Since men are rarely tested or vaccinated, that could potentially be an issue.

Get her to see a gynecologist, as they'll be better able to diagnose her.

Last piece of advice: I suggest staying away from condoms and lube...They could give her a UTI in addition to exacerbating these issues. Condoms usually do more harm than good when it comes to anything other than pregnancy and STD prevention
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