Firstly, apologies to the moderator if I'm overstepping the rules here. It certainly isn't the intention, I just couldn't access the previous thread - locked.
Some sound advice was certainly given by some whilst others seemed to launch off on various tangents.
Based on some of the responses, I felt it best to clarify the situation.
1. My then girlfriend/future wife was REALLY into anal sex, typically she would be the initiator. This would happen several times per week.
2. I was there when she told her brother how much she loves it, it wasn't a case of hearsay.
3. Yes, we have children.
4. It's since the birth of our last child 14 months ago that this all started. NOTE: We hadn't actually tried anal since the birth befoire she declared it "too painful" eg. How the hell would you know if you're not even trying? Surely a person who "LOVES" something would do their level best to make it a reality??
5. No, it's not a case of not being in love with someone, it';s more a case of having a set list of pre-requisites for your future partner. Frankly I see it as being no different from having "non drug user" on your wish list.
As one person said, I thought I'd bought the deluxe model and somehow it just ain't what I signed up for.
PLEASE NOTE, this isn't purely about anal sex. There are other things that she no longer does, and I'm OK (willing to negotiate) on these things, but this isn't really one of them.
To be more clear, it's quite possible to love someone despite the fact that they aren't making you happy.
What I really wanted from this forum was some advice on how to initiate this discussion in a way that doesn't seem threatening to my wife. I DO NOT want her to be doing anything she isn't comfortable with but neither am I willing to live the rest of my life with a woman who has basically reverted to the most vanilla sex imaginable.
Some have stated that I mustn't love my wife if that love is contingent on anal sex........ Let's be clear, I certainly wasn't "in love" with my wife when we started shagging. The shagging is a necessary requirement to establish compatibility. Love comes after. eg. not into anal?, I'll move on, thanks for your time type of situation.
We could exchange "anal" for just about anything in this scenario I believe.
Ladies, what if your husband decided tomorrow that your orgasms were no longer important to him? What if he decided that going to work was no longer suiting him?
I do plenty of things in my life that don't necessarily suit me, but I continue to do them because that's the kind of guy I am. I'm not asking my wife to do something that will hurt her, nor will I force her.
Some sound advice was certainly given by some whilst others seemed to launch off on various tangents.
Based on some of the responses, I felt it best to clarify the situation.
1. My then girlfriend/future wife was REALLY into anal sex, typically she would be the initiator. This would happen several times per week.
2. I was there when she told her brother how much she loves it, it wasn't a case of hearsay.
3. Yes, we have children.
4. It's since the birth of our last child 14 months ago that this all started. NOTE: We hadn't actually tried anal since the birth befoire she declared it "too painful" eg. How the hell would you know if you're not even trying? Surely a person who "LOVES" something would do their level best to make it a reality??
5. No, it's not a case of not being in love with someone, it';s more a case of having a set list of pre-requisites for your future partner. Frankly I see it as being no different from having "non drug user" on your wish list.
As one person said, I thought I'd bought the deluxe model and somehow it just ain't what I signed up for.
PLEASE NOTE, this isn't purely about anal sex. There are other things that she no longer does, and I'm OK (willing to negotiate) on these things, but this isn't really one of them.
To be more clear, it's quite possible to love someone despite the fact that they aren't making you happy.
What I really wanted from this forum was some advice on how to initiate this discussion in a way that doesn't seem threatening to my wife. I DO NOT want her to be doing anything she isn't comfortable with but neither am I willing to live the rest of my life with a woman who has basically reverted to the most vanilla sex imaginable.
Some have stated that I mustn't love my wife if that love is contingent on anal sex........ Let's be clear, I certainly wasn't "in love" with my wife when we started shagging. The shagging is a necessary requirement to establish compatibility. Love comes after. eg. not into anal?, I'll move on, thanks for your time type of situation.
We could exchange "anal" for just about anything in this scenario I believe.
Ladies, what if your husband decided tomorrow that your orgasms were no longer important to him? What if he decided that going to work was no longer suiting him?
I do plenty of things in my life that don't necessarily suit me, but I continue to do them because that's the kind of guy I am. I'm not asking my wife to do something that will hurt her, nor will I force her.