Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I have no idea why you are married. You are addicted to the first stages of a love affair where chemicals are flooding your brain.
Better that you leave him and take on a series of lovers until over time you are alone and realizing what a monstrous mistake you have made regarding these butterflies you seek.
I am positive that this om who clouds your judgment will fade from your interest once you are 100% available.
Later when he's back from studies. He said he's going to date me.
I can't expect too much surprise from him although I did request a surprise. I guess, he would probably bring me to a movie with a meal in the restaurant. Those things are another dating routines. I guess he wouldn't plan anything new...
I already feel bored in advance to have such date with him. Posted via Mobile Device
If he won't chase you, then you chase him! Pick him up from work or school, wherever he goes, and take HIM out.
I would be very, very careful using the OM as a motivator. That is something that should be talked about in a serious, sit down conversation.
I have no idea why you are married. You are addicted to the first stages of a love affair where chemicals are flooding your brain.
Better that you leave him and take on a series of lovers until over time you are alone and realizing what a monstrous mistake you have made regarding these butterflies you seek.
I am positive that this om who clouds your judgment will fade from your interest once you are 100% available.
I feel sad for you. Posted via Mobile Device
What's wrong if I want to find back the butterflies from my husband? I don't want that butterflies from the OM that's why I need advice to find back from my husband.
What's wrong if I want to be with my husband like in first stage of romance?
I don't care about the OM. Just used him as an example when talking about the chemistry flooding in my brains.
I need that chemistry with my husband!
I'm married to him. If I have an emotional need, I should figure out a way to get my need fulfilled by my husband but why you adviced me to leave my husband?
If he won't chase you, then you chase him! Pick him up from work or school, wherever he goes, and take HIM out.
I would be very, very careful using the OM as a motivator. That is something that should be talked about in a serious, sit down conversation.
My husband doesn't understand why married couples need to take care of not only family but also passion. He doesn't know why maintaining a good emotional connection and chemistry with each other is very important.
Without those magic feelings, marriage life gets boring and stale. This is not for any marriage to be targeted because marriage shouldn't go to the passive direction. Posted via Mobile Device
What's wrong if I want to find back the butterflies from my husband? I don't want that butterflies from the OM that's why I need advice to find back from my husband.
What's wrong if I want to be with my husband like in first stage of romance?
I don't care about the OM. Just used him as an example when talking about the chemistry flooding in my brains.
I need that chemistry with my husband!
I'm married to him. If I have an emotional need, I should figure out a way to get my need fulfilled by my husband but why you adviced me to leave my husband?
Your reactions to your OM have everything to do with what you perceive as lacking with your husband.
Read up on the stages of love, effects of brain chemistry over time during a relationship.
I'm not suggesting you live a passionless life, btw. Posted via Mobile Device
Why can't married couple regain the first stage of romance when the heart pounds fast? Why can't married couple find back that chemistry in the brains again?
Why must married couple live in a marriage that is getting boring? Posted via Mobile Device
Your reactions to your OM have everything to do with what you perceive as lacking with your husband.
Read up on the stages of love, effects of brain chemistry over time during a relationship.
I'm not suggesting you live a passionless life, btw. Posted via Mobile Device
When it's lacking it means it's lacking.
My target is to make sure it doesn't lack in my marriage. When it lacks, it's passionless.
I can't live without water and wish I don't feel thirsty and lying to myself, "It's ok to survive without water."
It's not ok. It's terrible to sustain the desires for water which my husband isn't giving. Posted via Mobile Device
I don't care about the stage of love and effect of brains.
Passion & chemistry are also important to be kept alive no matter how many years being married.
When they're gone, you have to find them back. As simple as that.
I have read up many misconceptions about the stages stuffs and basically reading those boring studies can't make my marriage more beautiful, exciting or romantic. It's not theory, a must belief, the only rule.
I'm married to only 1 man. When I have an emotional need, who else I can turn to? Do I need to turn to the OM again?
Now I figure out the butterflies are missing in my marriage. Don't you think I should find that passion back? Can I find back that magic feeling looking at a passive man's face everyday?
I have found that Passive is OK so long as you feel LOVED, cared for, even if you find yourself the more creative, more initiative, this is workable -IF you FEEL he wants/desires to be there with you in these moments. Some enthusiam.
Without this, I can easily understand your struggle, hurt and what you are trying to convey deeply in this thread. I would find these things crushing & getting very old if I felt my partner was just "going along" to keep the peace, or satisfy me alone- but his head is elsewhere. Some of us NEED this emotional response of the other, even a little LUSTY selfishness on their part, this is what passion is made of.
How is HIS feelings on all of these things ? Is he passionate about OTHER things in his life ?
DO you feel 2nd best, put on the back burner, taken for granted?
MsLonely take a romantic holiday, and yes sex is overrated for the same reason you're feeling the way you are now. Break routine, just get away from the daily grind for a while, find each other again. To be honest everytime the missus and I disappeared from the grind and traveled together overseas we ended up crazy in love each time. Our holidays this year however has been postponed.
Date each other if you want, just do things together, have your fond memories, and keep adding to the memories. The more you do together, and the more you two overcome as a couple, the stronger you will be. It's long past since the butterfly feelings for the missus and I. It's become more then that, I can't see myself without her nor can she.
We fight, we argue, we tear each other apart only to mend each other back up again, we love everything which we hate about each other which we love - which makes absolutely no sense. I may complain about her whines, stubbornness, demanding ways, manipulative, spending sprees, etc etc, but I'm not going anywhere. We recently split up for just 4 days and that was enough to make 2 strong individuals soft as jelly.
There's more to love then just the initial stages of farting out love-hearts.
You are addicted to the first stages of a love affair where chemicals are flooding your brain.... Read up on the stages of love, effects of brain chemistry over time during a relationship. I'm not suggesting you live a passionless life, btw.
I don't know your circumstances but I'm getting the impression you two managed to miss out on everything past the initial butterflies. Start over and start doing things together, build up your relationship.
I don't know your circumstances but I'm getting the impression you two managed to miss out on everything past the initial butterflies. Start over and start doing things together, build up your relationship.
Thanks randomdude, I will work on that. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: What's next after great sex? 
