lacking sex both ways
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 01-12-2011, 09:46 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default lacking sex both ways

Been w/my fiancee for 8 years now w/1 child. Sex has been dying down for about 3-4 years. Went from 3x/wk,1x/wk, now 1x a month. When I try to discuss it with him, he brushes me off and tells me he's tired every night.( he works like a dog) When he wants sex, its not the right moment for me and now it seems that everytime I want it from him, its never the right moment for him. I dont like doing it in the morning, because our son is up and Im embarassed, I rather do it at night and he has an issue w/that. He says it should be spontaneous and not planned out. When I spoke to him about it, he just told me that he backs off of me now, since I always push him off. I feel like he has no desire to please me, so I dont want to even try anymore. He doesnt really like to go down on me and I really enjoy that, because he says I dont go down on him enough. Its like an eye for an eye thing w/him. He tells me I used to be exciting, but since I had the baby things changed and that I never make time. I dont know what to do. Even when we try to have sex he gets turned off now, because I want to use a condom. Everything seems to bother him. I asked him if he jerks off and he laughed and said at least it doesnt talk back. I feel like Im fighting w/everyone around me, especially him and maybe thats another reason why he backs off, but the real reason why I do this is cause Im so sexually frustrated. Trying to talk to him: just brushed me off by saying I love you.
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Old 01-19-2011, 09:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: lacking sex both ways

I guess my first question would be, why have you been with him 8 years and he is still your fiance and not your husband?
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Old 01-19-2011, 10:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: lacking sex both ways

If you want this to work, something has got to give. Has to start with someone to break the Eye for eye mentality here. I would make time for love making in the morning -if you really care to get things back on tract with your man.

Take the initiative, Set your alarm to get up an hour earlier so you can have this time, before your son gets up, seduce him- go down on him, Men are their horniest in the morning (higest Test levels), this is THEIR time, he is most likely not going to be rejecting you -unless he did not get enough sleep.

He will less likely be doing himself if you get to him every morning, which will only enhace your intimacy. I made this mistake earlier in my marriage, I wanted it at night (and I was a little selfish about it ) he preferred mornings -he was more energized, so we missed each other alot , now that I have the higher Drive, I am bound & determined to meet him any way, place or time he wants it -and mornings are still Best.

Not sure what to say about the condoms unless you take an active role in flirtatiously putting them on for him, so it is not a big deal, or a bother (to him). I guess another issue if he feels like it is wearing a rain coat.
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Old 01-21-2011, 05:13 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: lacking sex both ways

Agreed with simplyamorous, men working like dogs are tired at night, it's reasonable they need rest.
Unless on it's his day off after he's got enough rest.
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