Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones?,
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 01-17-2011, 09:25 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Smile Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones?,

I am asking this question because my lady doesn't really respond or get very interested to watch our own soft-porn movies that we make. Although I think we look very hot, seeing ourselves doesn't seem to make her horny?....I asked her what makes you warm inside and she looked at me and tells me feeling safe, happy, that she can count on me....which I make sure she gets...but I would like to understand what else can I do to rock her world....thanks
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:30 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

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I am asking this question because my lady doesn't really respond or get very interested to watch our own soft-porn movies that we make. Although I think we look very hot, seeing ourselves doesn't seem to make her horny?....I asked her what makes you warm inside and she looked at me and tells me feeling safe, happy, that she can count on me....which I make sure she gets...but I would like to understand what else can I do to rock her world....thanks
Do you know what her fantasies are?
You might want to focus on them.
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:34 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

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Do you know what her fantasies are?
You might want to focus on them.
I asked her and she told me that have none!....like I said before, she comes from a very conservative family, never masturbated, and when we make love or have sex, I can see her getting into it and becoming very horny, but I would love to find something I could do before hand, and knowing that she is getting wet because of what I did.....any ideas?
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:41 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

I don't think I ever knew what made my x in the mood; she just seemed to be or not to be. She couldn't explain it either. If she was not in the mood, she was not interested in any foreplay whatsoever in an attempt to get in the mood. She didn't have any fantasies either. She had a very low sex drive.
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:41 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

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I asked her and she told me that have none!....like I said before, she comes from a very conservative family, never masturbated, and when we make love or have sex, I can see her getting into it and becoming very horny, but I would love to find something I could do before hand, and knowing that she is getting wet because of what I did.....any ideas?
Maybe you want to watch various types of porn together with your wife and see what makes her feel most interested?

What I guess is your wife's still exporing her true sexual desires, she's not yet done her discovery about sex.

If she's not very into visual stuffs, you might want to try talking dirty.
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:45 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

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Maybe you want to watch various types of porn together with your wife and see what makes her feel most interested?

What I guess is your wife's still exporing her true sexual desires, she's not yet done her discovery about sex.

If she's not very into visual stuffs, you might want to try talking dirty.
She has come along way....I mean, now I get excited since she let me do basically everything I want but need to realize when is appropriate or have time for it. However, I get a bit frustrated not knowing how estimulate her brain before getting to the act. Talking dirty..mmmm I'll give it a shot and see how she respond....what else?
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Old 01-17-2011, 10:21 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

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She has come along way....I mean, now I get excited since she let me do basically everything I want but need to realize when is appropriate or have time for it. However, I get a bit frustrated not knowing how estimulate her brain before getting to the act. Talking dirty..mmmm I'll give it a shot and see how she respond....what else?
Date her as if she's your new gf!

I told my husband to date me, and the result is very satisfying.

Women love to feel romantic stuffs.

You might want to tie her up & blindfold her, so she has no idea what you're going to do next. You can firstly give her an erotic oil massage, then, slowly, you can focus on teasing her nipples, making them aroused, toying her, licking her,... make sure all the process must be gentle & comfortable.

it's quite fun to be blindfolded once in a while.
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Old 01-17-2011, 10:43 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

I see your points, and I am sure with time we'll get there. I have to be careful though to take time in suggesting a lot of new things...I don't want her to feel like I am never satisfied because I love her so much and want for her to be happy. I'll try talking kind of dirty but knowing her she'll find it not very romantic......I would love to find something beside the act itself, that I know I can do to bring a lot of sex thoughts to her mind...so far, I am clueless...
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Old 01-17-2011, 10:45 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

@ southbound
Women with low sex drive have a dryer vagina. It takes not only more foreplay, also some romantic stuffs as well to make her feel loved & surprised on that day.
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Old 01-17-2011, 10:47 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

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I see your points, and I am sure with time we'll get there. I have to be careful though to take time in suggesting a lot of new things...I don't want her to feel like I am never satisfied because I love her so much and want for her to be happy. I'll try talking kind of dirty but knowing her she'll find it not very romantic......I would love to find something beside the act itself, that I know I can do to bring a lot of sex thoughts to her mind...so far, I am clueless...
Don't worry too much! You're clueless because she's clueless as well.

The more you do & ask, the more she learns & knows what she likes.

You have to keep trying out new things with her. Eventually, she will discover something she really likes & enjoys.

If she likes to feel warm & loved to feel turned on, it means her sexual interests are somehow connected to her emotional needs.
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Old 01-17-2011, 10:58 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

Communication is very important as you said to me.

Make her understand that you want to try out new things with her not because you never feel satisfied.

It's the opposite, you're so satisfied with her in bed and you want to enjoy sex to the fullest & reach the maximum satisfaction with her because she's very sexy & you love her never enough.

Trying new things out is for her to discover what she likes the most. She wouldn't know how she feels if she never experiences it.

You can assure her not to worry, "If both like 1 thing, we can keep playing it, if not, we try 1 time is enough!"
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Old 01-17-2011, 11:00 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

My wife has said the exact same thing about feeling safe, being taken care of, having adult conversations, following through with things I say, etc.

Let me explain...
1) feeling safe- ensuring doors on the house are locked when we leave and the garage door shuts. Investigating strange sounds at night. I have to admit I've mistaken left a door or two unlocked in years past after taking the dogs out or whatever and that is a big turn off. My wife told me recently when she feels safe she can get horny faster

2) Being taken care of: filling her SUV with gas, making coffee in the morning, starting her SUV on a cold morning when she goes to preshcool, solving car problems, fixing the leaking sink or broken oven, making sure her computer works well and had no viruses, etc. Yes, that has really worked. The more I do stuff like that, really the more sex I get and the more quality sex I get

3) following through: remembering family birthdays, coming home when I say I am from work or church etc, helping with cooking or cleaning when I say I will, helping with homework when I say I will

4) adult time: going on dates, showing interest in her activities or thoughts about certain subjects w/o her talking about them first. answering her questions about my life and activities w/o getting impatient or angry

I've asked my wife about fantasies and she also says she really has none other than saying "Yeah, Brad Pitt". I honestly believe her that she has no real fantasies. Her fantasies are numbers 1 through 4 above. I know those things get her "wet" and ready and going. I have the proof.


Quote:
Originally Posted by marcopoly69 View Post
I am asking this question because my lady doesn't really respond or get very interested to watch our own soft-porn movies that we make. Although I think we look very hot, seeing ourselves doesn't seem to make her horny?....I asked her what makes you warm inside and she looked at me and tells me feeling safe, happy, that she can count on me....which I make sure she gets...but I would like to understand what else can I do to rock her world....thanks
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Old 01-17-2011, 11:19 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

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Originally Posted by joelmacdad View Post
My wife has said the exact same thing about feeling safe, being taken care of, having adult conversations, following through with things I say, etc.

Let me explain...
1) feeling safe- ensuring doors on the house are locked when we leave and the garage door shuts. Investigating strange sounds at night. I have to admit I've mistaken left a door or two unlocked in years past after taking the dogs out or whatever and that is a big turn off. My wife told me recently when she feels safe she can get horny faster

2) Being taken care of: filling her SUV with gas, making coffee in the morning, starting her SUV on a cold morning when she goes to preshcool, solving car problems, fixing the leaking sink or broken oven, making sure her computer works well and had no viruses, etc. Yes, that has really worked. The more I do stuff like that, really the more sex I get and the more quality sex I get

3) following through: remembering family birthdays, coming home when I say I am from work or church etc, helping with cooking or cleaning when I say I will, helping with homework when I say I will

4) adult time: going on dates, showing interest in her activities or thoughts about certain subjects w/o her talking about them first. answering her questions about my life and activities w/o getting impatient or angry

I've asked my wife about fantasies and she also says she really has none other than saying "Yeah, Brad Pitt". I honestly believe her that she has no real fantasies. Her fantasies are numbers 1 through 4 above. I know those things get her "wet" and ready and going. I have the proof.
Excellently well put!

Last edited by MsLonely; 01-17-2011 at 11:29 AM.
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Old 01-17-2011, 11:23 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

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I've asked my wife about fantasies and she also says she really has none other than saying "Yeah, Brad Pitt".
Sorry but this is so funny!
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Old 01-17-2011, 11:30 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones

All that is good. I think I do most of those things...what bothers me is that she is used to them. I have been like this all our lives together. I help with the house - i cook, prepare lunches, breakfasts, homework with the kids, taking our son to practice, telling her daily how beautiful I find her and how she rocks my world, and she looked at me with love, but doesn't say much...I guess, I am missing our time to talk as adults about our relationship....We haven't had the time to talk about it....I'll try to find the time so we can actually communicate...because me doing all the talk is not communication
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