Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Lots of threads here are about husbands and wives having low (or none atall) sex drives.
If men have the will but the body doesn't respond we can pop a viagra which will work there and then (basically).
Is there a doctor on board that can advise us (me) on any medication (medical or 'alternative') that one can take on a daily basis to help increase a mans or a womans general libido??
I am NOT talking about something illicit you slip into her (his) drink...but something that can be taken with full knowledge and consent that will help someone over come a low libido.
not a doctor, but you hit the nail on the head when you said "have the will", almost anything can be overcome if someone has the will to make something better. the problem i see with low libido is it saps the will of the individual, it doesnt set off the brain that "i need help"
Holiday Inn??!! Hope it was worth it!!!
You on commission from them??!!
OKD - overweight people can have the will to lose weight but need a little bit of extra help...say with an appetite suppressant or something to make them feel full....
Not a doctor, but owned/operated a pharmacy for 12 years.... The best approach is to identify the underlying cause. It's impossible to accurately treat a condition without first knowing the cause. For example, if low testosterone is the suspected culprit, a lab test must first be performed.
In my years of experience, the most common problem people encountered was actually caused by some of their medications. Medications do have side effects--and a common one is sexual dysfunction. If you are currently taking medications, speak to your pharmacist about your problem. Rule that out first. Then, speak to your doctor about other probable reasons for reduced libido.
Not a doctor but a full medical check up would be my first stop (I actually don't know why more people don't look at that as an option first up).
It makes sense to me that if my body isn't functioning properly then there is a reason for it, so the best way to get rid of the symptoms is to treat the cause.
There is always a reason why libido is low (in both men & women), stress, age, medication that you are already taking, chemical/hormonal imbalance, unhealthy lifestyle....or something as simple as lack of exercise.
I have heard of natural libido enhancers (horny goatweed is one that comes to mind).....never used it though so can't really say if it works or not.
Thanks for the responses so far....if only it was all that easy!
Lets assume for this thread that all tests etc have been done and no abnormalities found.
Wife/husband just has a mental block to sex and realises it...just says 'I know I have a problem and I'm trying to deal with it...I could just do with a bit of a hand'.. (no pun intended!)
I personally have found excersize to be an "majic potion" for allot of things. It helps stress, makes you sleep better, helps you lose wieght and helps to ward off depression (as douse sunlight). It will also make you feel better about your body (even if you have not lost weight.
I have also found that when either my or I or both of us are working out we have more sex. It increases the bloodflow "everywhere". Don't have to go crazy. take a 20min wallk 3 days a week. More is better withing moderation but, a little will go a long way. Consider doing it outside to get sunshine too.
Totally agree with TJ. I will add that a partner who chooses to make the effort to exercise at least 3 times a week is a partner who is demonstrating a "good faith effort" to prioritize your needs. It is unusual for a partner to do "that" and not also make the effort to have sex with you once a week or so.
A partner who acknowledges a total lack of libido and who is NOT willing to make the effort to exercise - has a whole different issue which is that they have completely deprioritized you. You and your needs no longer matter to them.
If I had to guess - maybe 1/2 of all sexual issues between married couples would be greatly helped if two things changed:
- the LD partner made the effort to exercise
- the HD partner allowed their LD spouse to "hunt" them - often those who find "being chased" a turn off, are the exact same people who find "chasing" a turn on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tjohnson
I personally have found excersize to be an "majic potion" for allot of things. It helps stress, makes you sleep better, helps you lose wieght and helps to ward off depression (as douse sunlight). It will also make you feel better about your body (even if you have not lost weight.
I have also found that when either my or I or both of us are working out we have more sex. It increases the bloodflow "everywhere". Don't have to go crazy. take a 20min wallk 3 days a week. More is better withing moderation but, a little will go a long way. Consider doing it outside to get sunshine too.
Lets not forget our mental state. Exhaustion, stress, worry will all contribute to a lack of libido. So will "not enjoying sex"
Regarding testosterone - remember guys that this hormone is a direct cause of prostate growth and eventually prostate cancer. Your doctor will be aware of the risks and will test / prescribe accordingly.
Over-the-counter remidies for low T and (well meaning?) idiots selling chemicals (aka "herbals") they know little or nothing about could result in prostate problems or an undiagnosed condition (such as cancer) going balistic.
Start dating again; rekindle the spark that started it all. Remember to look at your partner with love in your eyes and your heart. It makes a real difference.
Thanks for the responses so far....if only it was all that easy!
Lets assume for this thread that all tests etc have been done and no abnormalities found.
Wife/husband just has a mental block to sex and realises it...just says 'I know I have a problem and I'm trying to deal with it...I could just do with a bit of a hand'.. (no pun intended!)
Okay....so physically fit with a mental block - maybe a councellor or psychologist next so that he "can" work it out (instead of just "trying").
What does it mean....."could just do with a bit of a hand"? Does he mean from you....like, more foreplay or something?
I really, really don't think there is ever a quick over-the-counter fix for your problem (but I've been wrong before ).
I'm a doctor but this is pretty far out of my domain/specialty - chiropractic.
The other posters gave good replies. . .little to add to what I know other than in men, the penis is very good "Dipstick" (pun intended) of health in a male.
Dr. Oz is very shrewd as a marketer and physician to bring this up on Oprah a lot (he's my marketing hero).
When he wants to know how a male's health is going, he'll ask "How the pecker working?" If the male is forthcoming and honest, he has a good picture into their vascular health (I believe Dr. Oz's speciality is cardiothoracic surgery).
So, males are simpler creatures - either
A. Low testosterone (the music ain't playing)
B. Decreased vascularity ( the music is playing and I want to dance, but I can't)
This is barring anything pathological, like nerve damage, space-occupying lesion, etc.
Now. . .to the Yang, Women. . .whole other ball of wax.
It can be money, kids, low T, vascularity, obesity, the star alignment, not sexual, etc, ad nauseum, ad numerum with libido. Wetness of the vagina is usually more physical but libido in the female is still a big mystery.
Lately some research has indicated DHEA hormone in females may be implicated in libido.
Anyway, as usual, females are more complex. . .you just can't rule out social, emotional, financial, mental and physical factors.
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And maybe I seem a bit confused. . .but maybe, I got you pegged! Ha! Don't know what to do about those tossed salad and scrambled eggs. . .they're posting again. Scannerguard has left the building.
...Is there a Doctor on board?... 
