Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
My wife just wants to do it missionary and has no interest in other positions. The few times we have had sex the past year that's the general theme. If I were to suggest a different position right before or during sex, and she says no, should I say I'm not interested anymore? Let her win? Say I'm bored doing it the same way? In the past I have just let her get her way. I'd like a response that has a positive effect but doesn't end on a too sour note. Any particular response as a potential to do more damage.
Thanks guys. FYI, I find this forum very educational. Posted via Mobile Device
My wife just wants to do it missionary and has no interest in other positions. The few times we have had sex the past year that's the general theme. If I were to suggest a different position right before or during sex, and she says no, should I say I'm not interested anymore? Let her win? Say I'm bored doing it the same way?
Thanks guys. FYI, I find this forum very educational. Posted via Mobile Device
My advice? Get her out of the bedroom. It's easier to suggest other positions if missionary just isn't convenient. I understand she might be reluctant, but then again if you held her to higher standards over-all, a change of position isn't that big a deal to her. Now having sex in the first place . . .
I would try to say things like she is very sexy and you want to see her body during sex.
You also want to try some new exciting things to pleasure her.
I had a girlfriend like this during college, and nothing worked. So I broke up with her, she begged me to come back and said she would do any position I wanted lol.
Getting her out of the bedroom is another challenge. Seeing her body is also another challenge. She rarely does it in the light. And yes, having sex is also a challenge right now. I think it would be easier to train a monkey to race the Indy 500. lol Posted via Mobile Device
Hurra, female sexuality is linked more to attraction than function, so while different positions may do it for you, she's not receptive because she's not finding you very sexually attractive right now.
There are a number of posts on nice guy stuff and creating sexual attraction with you wife. I'd focus on that and not positions. If you can get yourself to a point where she finds you attractive again, I think you'll find the sex gets better.
Atholk, MEM and BigBadWolf have a lots of good info on this.
So she says no when you ask for a new position, does she give a reason why?
You might want to try saying something like "Babe I'd love to try this (name the position) with you, I think it would make you feel real good" she how she reacts or maybe try a diferent approach (be warned she may not like this), a lot of women like little force in bed, maybe while in missionary just grab and move her into the position you want don't ask, just do!, my H sometimes does that and I'll put up a fake resistance (playfully), then I'll let him have it.
So she says no when you ask for a new position, does she give a reason why?
You might want to try saying something like "Babe I'd love to try this (name the position) with you, I think it would make you feel real good" she how she reacts or maybe try a diferent approach (be warned she may not like this), a lot of women like little force in bed, maybe while in missionary just grab and move her into the position you want don't ask, just do!, my H sometimes does that and I'll put up a fake resistance (playfully), then I'll let him have it.
And some women would take that akin to spousal rape. It sounds as if the OP's SO would likely lean towards that. The "lights out in the missionary position" is about as close to "try not to disturb me too much" sex as I can think of. She's not going to be into him "forcing" anything. She'll only use it as an excuse not to have sex with him any time soon.
And some women would take that akin to spousal rape. It sounds as if the OP's SO would likely lean towards that. The "lights out in the missionary position" is about as close to "try not to disturb me too much" sex as I can think of. She's not going to be into him "forcing" anything. She'll only use it as an excuse not to have sex with him any time soon.
Perhaps a good way to get her out of her comfort zone a little and hopefully get her to open up to other positions would be to just modify how you are doing it today. For example, wrap your arm around her leg behind her knee and pull it up/support it. She'll end up with one leg down and one leg up. It's still missionary, just a little different. Obviously there are other modifications you can make, use your imagination. If you can get her comfortable with this, maybe she'll start to open up to entirely different positions all together.
If you are asking for too many sex acts that don't get her an orgasm then I think you are boring her.
A flat-out refusal to try any other position than missionary would seem to indicate a lot of things. Boredom being one. Hostility is another.
BTW, whatever happened to speaking up about making sex more enjoyable?
Asking to try a different position sounds positive.
My presumption would be for any position to be fun if wanted. a spouse who doesn't climax? Not good. The spouse who doesn't climax? He or she has a certain obligation to thine own self be true!
No guy wants to find out they don't satisfy. finding this out after years of not satisfying? That is more on the person who doesn't speak up and make changes, alert their partner to needed changes.
She is very self conscious with no reason to be. She was making an effort prior marriage to overcome it and was doing well but once we got married that progress was erased.
I wouldn't force her to but years ago I would get her where I wanted her you could say and she never seemed fully comfortable but didn't refuse.
Had a man who didn't catch that hint when I downloaded an app for that on my ipod!!!
Will only offer that my first venture into the world of positions came from finding out that some make for better pleasure for women than others... just plan for a silly play night and initiated myself... Maybe she just doesn't know how good certain positions can make it for her?
Refuses different positions. Then what? 
