She is very self conscious with no reason to be. She was making an effort prior marriage to overcome it and was doing well but once we got married that progress was erased.
I wouldn't force her to but years ago I would get her where I wanted her you could say and she never seemed fully comfortable but didn't refuse.
But some good replies here. Thanks.
Oh she tried it before. Body image is an insidious problem for women. We think we need to be model perfect to be seen and concentrate on flaws. "I would get her where I wanted her you could say and she never seemed fully comfortable but didn't refuse."
How did you get her where you wanted even though she was uncomfortable?? How did her discomfort effect you? Did you just go at and feel nothing but the pleasure of an orgasm?
I don't know. My thought is that if she was uncomfortable and you knew it but you got her where you wanted her, she may have felt you were insensitive and self centered. In human terms, it is unusual for a person who cares about another to be able to have pleasure knowing that the other person is uncomfortable.
It sets up a dynamic where the pleasure you get is more important than the person you are with. She may have felt that you were using her body for your pleasure whether she liked or not. Maybe she felt it's her body and she should not make herself uncomfortable so that you were entertained.
Ian will probably have a canary now!!!
She was insensitive to him not giving him another use of her body for pleasure. How would that work.
What would be fair. He is having sex and orgasms but he is still not happy because she wont make herself uncomfortable to relieve his boredom. I guess he could divorce and find a woman who is more entertaining.
Nevertheless, I think you can still get her to open up. I did but it was not because my husband got me where he wanted me or it would never have happened. He was loving and appreciated the sex we had.
I felt more comfortable and trusting that he he cared about me as much as himself. I felt safe, I learned that he was uncomfortable when I was and could not get any pleasure out of sex on those terms.
She may not trust you because she may think that no matter what, you want your pleasure.